To be angry that my relative has booked an event on the same day as my child's birthday

[Allsortsofroses]

I booked a venue for my child's birthday party and invited everyone, including this woman and her child (and husband if he wanted to go), about a month and a half beforehand.

I thought that was neither too much nor little notice.

She accepted.

She then contacted me weeks later saying she's booked her child's christening on the same day because she forgot, and says it's the only date she can get ).

She has now suggested another take her child to part of the birthday party while she prepares for the christening, but her child (and that relative, and her child, and partner) will have to leave the birthday party early in order to get ready for the christening etc.
In fact they'll have to leave before we could get to the cake cutting.

My partner has said tk forgoer about it, that we all know from previous experience that's she's selfish and dippy, but I must admit I'm trying hard to stay totally diplomatic about it.

What do you make of it?

@Elbie79

You people are too nice. I'd be very miffed. A christening can happen anytime, a birthday is fixed. I don't believe she forgot - she just decided to please herself. Selfish.

Oh give over. Birthdays are every year and a christening is a one off event. Dates can actually be hard to book, there might not be another one for months. Are you seriously suggesting the mum should wait to have her baby christened because of a kids party?

And double booker knows it, that's partly why she's doing it.

Many psychics around today.

Did she do something underhand to get the church to agree with her plan to ruin this party and manipulate her sister to destroy the closeness between you that she envies?

I mean, there must be some scenario in your mind as to why she'd do something that weird. What do you think she wants to achieve?

@Allsortsofroses

there's no way I can handle a kids party for more than a couple of hours anyway,

Wow you're psychic, that's fkg incredible.

Unfortunately like most (all?) psychics, you're talking bollocks. My relatjve/mate has been wanting to visit this venue with her kid for ages, it takes hours to do properly, there are plenty of rest/chill spots, the time limit with covid and the birthday food etc is already making it tight; they're not going to be able to do any justice to their visit, and her chd is going to miss out on the things the kids, from experience, enjoy the most.

.

Well considering you won't give anyone any actual information - like how old the children are, what the activity is and why it takes 14 hours to complete, why it is sooooo inconvenient for your relative/mate to leave a bit early to attend another function - we have to rely on our psychic powers to add in the details.

Also the word is fucking - either you're old enough to swear, in which case fucking do it properly, or you aren't, in which case grow the fuck up.

Your child’s birthday party would never have the same importance as the baptism to her family

Just roll with it and be glad it’s not the whole party leaving

@ESGdance

Get your mate to come extra early so that you can hang out one to one before all the other guests turn up?

Thank you for the attempt at a constructive solution; unfortunately the venue has a set opening/entry time, and kick out time (latter due to covid).

Do you actually think that she got her invite and then thought how can I piss off my sister and her SIL - so trotted off to find any church that had a time slot to deliberately conflict with yours?

For fucks sake OP, get over it. So this arrangement didn’t quite go to plan - it’s called life. You are working yourself into a very unhealthy froth about this.

My guess is still on OP planning a big 1st birthday Instagram style extravaganza and social media will now be shared with christening same day as they all move in same circles.
Is your DC christened op? I do wonder if it’s something you would have liked but perhaps can’t and it’s clouding your view.

“Thank you for the attempt at a constructive solution; unfortunately the venue has a set opening/entry time, and kick out time (latter due to covid).”

You could meet somewhere else - for coffee / breakfast / park etc?

OP - why won't you tell us how old your DC is?

My bet under is 5, in which case your child really won't care who is there.

People have read your thread and the vast majority think YABU. I really think you need to read the room here

Also the word is fucking - either you're old enough to swear, in which case fucking do it properly, or you aren't, in which case grow the fuck up.

If I don't want to type the full word, I won't.

Who the fk are you to order people how to write on MN.

Are you the curse word specialist administrator? No.

Also don't tell people to "grow the fuck up".

You're just salty cause I called you out on your bullshit.

@Dixiechickonhols - that's entirely possible and that's probably also why she avoids mentioning the age of the child. In fact, there are no feelings of the child mentioned here. It's all ME ME ME ME ME.

If your friend and child aren’t going to be able to do it justice in shorter times why not tell her not to come and save admission and arrange to do it again together another day. I’m sure your child won’t mind going again. Then just woman you hate and her child miss out which isn’t your problem.

@Dixiechickonhols

My guess is still on OP planning a big 1st birthday Instagram style extravaganza and social media will now be shared with christening same day as they all move in same circles. Is your DC christened op? I do wonder if it’s something you would have liked but perhaps can’t and it’s clouding your view.

No.

I don't generally do SM. I don't like it re. privacy etc for kids.

(Double booker is a prolific SM poster, yes).

Why would I be unable to christen a child, if I would like to?

It's a kid's birthday party, not a debutante ball! Why are you making such a crazy big deal of a kid's birthday party? Honestly, your kid's party is only important to you

@Allsortsofroses

Also the word is fucking - either you're old enough to swear, in which case fucking do it properly, or you aren't, in which case grow the fuck up.

If I don't want to type the full word, I won't.

Who the fk are you to order people how to write on MN.

Are you the curse word specialist administrator? No.

Also don't tell people to "grow the fuck up".

You're just salty cause I called you out on your bullshit.

Yet again, avoiding the questions ... what bullshit have you called me on?

That I have had to fill in the massive holes in your story because you're too busy being a narcissistic brat to answer some basic questions?

If you can't even answer the question of how old your child is, then why the fuck are you still arguing with people?

If your friend has always wanted to go to this venue, why don't you and her and your children all go together another day.

Are there other people going to this party? You're making it all about your friend, it's like nobody else is going.

Console yourself that your child will hopefully have another birthday another yer and that everyone you deem should be there, probably can be. really come to terms ith it, and get on with life

Chill, its not worth it

Anyone calling someone else a ‘spoiled little butch’ isn’t someone who can be ‘widely respected and admired’. By all means, dislike someone and express your reasons but that kind of phrasing loses any moral high ground immediately.

For a mother in law to talk openly to other about her son’s wife like that is unbelievably spiteful, whatever this woman has done. There really isn’t any justification that means the MIL comes out of that well!

*bitch not butch

@Allsortsofroses

Hang on....is your partner called Joseph? Are you Mary? Have you, in fact, birthed the second messiah?

No, but apparently she is; because when she books a date for a christening, no previous arrangements or other people like her sil's arrangements can interfere with the first date given.

So the christening Mum is married to your brother and her MIL is your Mother ?

Blimey.
What a fuss about nothing. It's just a birthday party. Focus on your child having a good time and see your friend/relative some other time.
The only reason I'd be annoyed about this was is it was costing me money for someone to come somewhat briefly to what sounds like an adventure park kind of thing.
Get off your high horse, OP, other people have their own priorities. It's not all about you.

Allsortsoftoses You couldn’t christen your child if their dad doesn’t agree to it or probably not if he is a different religion.
If you aren’t putting it on any social media and everyone is coming to birthday party except woman you hate I really can’t see issue.

I really wouldn't care. A christening is a big event a child's birthday isn't as much in my opinion they will have loads others and you can still go ahead with the party. I don't see why you are so annoyed by it

@WhenISnappedAndFarted

If your friend has always wanted to go to this venue, why don't you and her and your children all go together another day.

Are there other people going to this party? You're making it all about your friend, it's like nobody else is going.

It's quote a hike for them, and she's very busy.

Also venue will close for winter soon ish (except Christmad event).

But I can suggest it.