Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Girls having to say when they have their period

341 replies

Cliff1975 · 15/11/2021 08:39

My daughter is 13, year 8. On friday she got into trouble for answering a teacher back and arguing (agree totally out of order). However, it was over asking to go to the toilet in PE, 5 minutes after lunch (although it was after they had changed so can't have been 5 minutes. Anyway it all escalated out of proportion but my question is this, is it reasonable for a teacher to say that if agirl says it is her time of the month she will be allowed to go if not no. I mean why should they have to share this? Ho will the teacher know if they are being truthful anyway? My daughter, who is no shrinking violet was mortified that the teacher ended up shouting this with about 5 teachers present. I have told her not to answer back, argue etc but I have to admit part of me is proud of her. Some girls would be mortified being asked if it is the time of the month. Honest opinions please. I was a teacher myself for 20 years so I know kids try it on to get out of lesson but is that worth humiliating girls for who are genuine? I can't help thinking this is a power tri p for the teacher.

OP posts:
Shasha17 · 15/11/2021 10:39

She doesn´t HAVE to announce to a teacher that she´s on her period, don´t be silly. She merely needs to be respectful of the teacher and her classmate´s time, and not be disruptive by asking to go to the toilet during class time?

If there are special circumstances like she had literally just unexpectedly come on her period, I´d expect her to be able to have a quiet word with the teacher and explain this. The teacher isn´t psychic. Your daughter won´t be traumatised from simply explaining something for goodness sake. It´s just a period. Why are we treated children like literally everything is traumatic for them these days??

Tittyfilarious81 · 15/11/2021 10:40

@claymodels

The pass is not just for periods it doesn't mean period, there are several reasons for the pass period , tummy ache ,feeling unwell ,water infection etc some boys have them also but very few so nobody goes oh look she's on a period .

Do you seriously think that makes it any better Confused

I mean it doesn't just mean period and as I've also said boys can have them too for a few reasons like the girls . It's a choice get a pass off your tutor so you just go or put your hand up in class ask to go the toilet in where you still need your teachers pass to leave the classroom
claymodels · 15/11/2021 10:40

it's the rules of most secondary schools no going the toilet during lessons

The. Rules. Are. Wrong.

Ok. It is the rule in some schools (others have managed to drag themselves out of the dark ages) but it is certainly not the rule in all school and more importantly should not be a rule in any school.

Smileyaxolotl1 · 15/11/2021 10:41

It is very clear that most of you have never worked in a secondary school. Lots of children choose to not go to the toilet at lunchtime as it’s much better to waste lesson time doing it.
Having said that it’s about knowing your class and the individual.
I wouldn’t expect a child to have to announce they are on their period but many girls do unprompted when they ask to go.

Smileyaxolotl1 · 15/11/2021 10:42

*clay models’ are you a teacher?
If there was no restriction on toilets I would have about 3 kids in the class most of the time.

claymodels · 15/11/2021 10:42

I mean it doesn't just mean period and as I've also said boys can have them too for a few reasons like the girls . It's a choice get a pass off your tutor so you just go or put your hand up in class ask to go the toilet in where you still need your teachers pass to leave the classroom

Somebody knows because the pupil has to go through the humiliation of discussing it with a teacher in the first place to get this ridiculous pass.

Merryhobnobs · 15/11/2021 10:42

I used to have very heavy periods as a teenager. Prone to flooding, bad cramps and upset stomach. I was shy and mortified. I didn't feel I could even speak to my mum about it never mind in front of a whole class and teachers. Yes some people get on just fine managing but that doesn't mean those who have a need to go to the loo should be punished just so those who do play up can be controlled. It's demeaning.

Pippi1970 · 15/11/2021 10:42

Why didn't she go at lunch? My dd and her friends do this, noone goes in a lesson unless they've had some kind of accident.

Pyewackect · 15/11/2021 10:42

When I was at school you were excused PE if you had the "painters in" but your name , and the date, went in the "red book" . And if you missed cross-country then the following week you'd have to do the course, on your own if necessary, even if everybody else was in the gym. You soon learnt to " pad-up" before hand or " blob pants" were a favourite. Swimming was different, you just sat it out.

There seemed to be no problems or embarrassment discussing it with the boys either. Country girls in a rural school see ; we weren't shrinking flowers Grin

DameMaureen · 15/11/2021 10:43

@CallmeHendricks

Why would you assume it's a power trip for the teacher? More likely to be irritation with the number of kids pulling every trick in the book to get out of lessons.
especially PE !
claymodels · 15/11/2021 10:43

@Smileyaxolotl1

*clay models’ are you a teacher? If there was no restriction on toilets I would have about 3 kids in the class most of the time.
I do not need to be a teacher to advocate for the right of a girl who has come on her period to be allowed to use the toilet without fuss.
claymodels · 15/11/2021 10:44

@Pippi1970

Why didn't she go at lunch? My dd and her friends do this, noone goes in a lesson unless they've had some kind of accident.

Because she came on just after lunch Hmm

Pippi1970 · 15/11/2021 10:45

No problems discussing it here either but it's an all girls school although I can't think they'd be that bothered about boys knowing. The boys can take it surely?

Tbh some girls probably just wanted to get on with the PE lesson and didn't appreciate your dd wasting their time by mouthing off at the teacher.

Pippi1970 · 15/11/2021 10:45

She came on just after lunch in a PE lesson. OK.

Snoozer11 · 15/11/2021 10:46

Why is it always PE teachers who are like this?

No one should ever be refused a toilet break.

endofagain · 15/11/2021 10:46

"What about women who want equal rights at work but then say they’ll have to keep missing meetings because they’re women and have periods? If you were the employer would you wish you’d just hired a man?"

What an ignorant comment!

Pippi1970 · 15/11/2021 10:46

@Snoozer11

Why is it always PE teachers who are like this?

No one should ever be refused a toilet break.

Why is it that so many girls want to get out of PE?
bendmeoverbackwards · 15/11/2021 10:46

So that’s why some schools finish so early in the afternoon, 30 min lunch break??! Why? What about lunchtime clubs?

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 15/11/2021 10:46

@Pyewackect

When I was at school you were excused PE if you had the "painters in" but your name , and the date, went in the "red book" . And if you missed cross-country then the following week you'd have to do the course, on your own if necessary, even if everybody else was in the gym. You soon learnt to " pad-up" before hand or " blob pants" were a favourite. Swimming was different, you just sat it out.

There seemed to be no problems or embarrassment discussing it with the boys either. Country girls in a rural school see ; we weren't shrinking flowers Grin

The fact that you think that was ok is quite weird! Do you think that's what girls should do these days?
BBOA · 15/11/2021 10:46

My daughter has really heavy periods and leaks at times. She got really anxious after a bad flood so we spoke to teacher and got her a pass she could use without question. Scarily, some kids just don’t know they have to change tampons/pads regularly so they do need some coaching.

Chocolatewheatos · 15/11/2021 10:47

I very much believe they should be able to go to the toilet whenever they need. You shouldn't have to tell a teacher, or anybody, that you are on your period or have diarrhoea. And so what if she only needs a wee and didn't have time to go at break. Should she just piss herself?

Tittyfilarious81 · 15/11/2021 10:47

@claymodels They don't have to tell the tutor though it's a simple case of saying you need a pass that day they don't ask why and as I said it simply allows them to just raise it slightly off the table teacher sees it and off they go

SickAndTiredAgain · 15/11/2021 10:48

What about women who want equal rights at work but then say they’ll have to keep missing meetings because they’re women and have periods? If you were the employer would you wish you’d just hired a man?

Urgh these women and their rights. They expect equal rights but then have a baby and go on mat leave - much better to hire a man!
There was a thread on here the other week where the OP was worried about going back to work after mat leave because since giving birth she’d been having incidences of awful flooding without warning and going through any protection she had. Maybe she should just quit work forever.

claymodels · 15/11/2021 10:48

@Pippi1970

She came on just after lunch in a PE lesson. OK.

Your comment implies disbelief, which is the entire problem.

Pippi1970 · 15/11/2021 10:48

@Chocolatewheatos

I very much believe they should be able to go to the toilet whenever they need. You shouldn't have to tell a teacher, or anybody, that you are on your period or have diarrhoea. And so what if she only needs a wee and didn't have time to go at break. Should she just piss herself?
She should go at break time. Honestly who are all these kids with flooding periods, rampant diorrhea and bladder infections? Surely it's not that common?