To not want my 19 year old moving to Canada alone?

[MiddayMass]

She has 0 connections in Canada. She isn’t particularly academic and uni is her idea of hell but works in hospitality and thrives in that role. The restaurant she works at offered her a manager on duty promotion not long after she started because of how on the ball she is.

All her friends went off to uni in September and I think she’s feeling like it’s time to make a drastic change in her own life too. Which I understand. I thought maybe she’d move into a house share with other young people or something.

Today over dinner she revealed that Canada do a 2 year ‘Working Holiday’ visa for certain countries. You don’t need to be a professional or have a degree, you can go over and work in hospitality just fine. As long as you have somewhere to live, a couple of grand in the bank (she has savings) and health insurance you’re fine. She’s says she’s been looking into it and has already signed up with an agency and has paid fees to go and work on a ski resort this Winter with live-in accommodation. She’s insisted it’s all legit and that she has done all of her research.

To be honest, I smiled about it to her face but I’m scared shitless. Do such jobs actually exist? I’m worried it’s dodgy. She will have no connections in Canada. She insists that the agency has in-country support and that she’s in a Facebook group with other girls her own age who are going to the same town, and that they all plan to meet up once they are there etc. There’s even talk of some of them maybe getting a flat-share as she doesn’t want to be in the hotel accommodation for the full 2 years. She honestly doesn’t seem worried at all. I’m not sure why she chose Canada specifically. Apparently Europe wasn’t drastic enough, she’s not interested in Asia or Africa, Oceania is too far from home and she ‘wouldn’t be seen dead in the USA in its current state’ so she ended up with Canada.

DH isn’t happy either and says he’ll be worried about her, and has suggested that we try and talk her out of it. I don’t want to do that as she is an adult but I am terrified. How would you feel? I never really left my home town or travelled. At DD’s age I was pregnant with her brother and living in a flat 5 minutes away from my parents and so the idea of jetting off to another continent alone at that age is unthinkable to me. I’m not saying I’d rather she was pregnant at 19 living in a grotty flat, I just mean it’s all so foreign to me because I was in such a different situation at her age so I don’t know if my fear is rational or not.

It sounds like a brilliant idea! She’s researched it (and you can verify what she’s found), there is work to be had, Canada is hardly the slums of Calcutta… why not?

Yes such jobs do exist and she's right, she can get a working holiday visa as a Brit going to Canada.

Which ski resort? Whistler?

I think it would be prudent for you to do your own research on the agency she is signing up with and also the work permit/ visa situation but other than that, what’s the problem? Sounds like an absolutely fantastic opportunity. You’ll miss her and she will miss you but that’s not a reason for her not to go.

I speak as someone who left home at 18 and started living abroad aged 20, albeit in different circumstances to your daughter. Adventure is out there and it’s obviously what she wants. What would she do if she remained in the UK?

I did exactly what your DD is planning to do, BTW

She'll be fine. I went to Australia alone at that age. She will make friends there very quickly. And she'll be on good money if she's doing bar work in Canada.
Please don't discourage her. I think she will regret it if she doesn't go. She can come home if she hates it.

Jobs like that do exist. Canada is actually a great and safe choice as long as she has good health insurance. It sounds like a great experience to me.
Without qualifications it is unlikely she will be able to stay after the 2 years are up. Maybe she will come home and go to uni afterwards?
Check the agency yourself and read the reviews. There are lots of good ones.
I am very biased in this, I left on a gap year 8 years ago and haven't returned home yet and now have a house, a husband a little one and another one due next month... Probably not what you wanted to hear. I would have loved to have travelled to Canada but I was too old for the Visa's when I decided to look into it.

I did something similar at 19 and so did my son. Excellent experience and a brilliant way to learn how to be self-sufficient. Don't stomp on her ambition and her natural desire to spread her wings. She can always come home if she's unhappy.

bunac.org/working-holidays/canada/work-canada

^^

It'll be this. Though to be fair she'd be better getting the visa herself then just applying on the IntraWest website. Bunac is expensive

Do you have the resources to get her home at short notice if things go wrong? If so, then remind yourself that she is only a day’s travel away.

And it’s not a fundamentally unsafe choice. She will not be in more danger than the next town over in the uk, and will have had a great adventure.

I did the same at 21

I did the same, she'll have a great time

Canada is a great place to go to - like the UK in many ways, and the people are lovely, friendly, and very polite ! She'll be fine. I moved to the other side of the world at her age and loved it - she will too. Please don't pour cold water on her plans just because you've never done anything like this - she'll have a marvellous time and learn so much.

I know 3 people who have done this, including DS, and all have had great experiences. Despite it sounding daunting, the time will go really quickly for you and her.

maybe sun peaks!!
things to think about, ski resorts tend to be out of town and transport into the nearest populated area can be difficult (bumming rides all the time).
cost, even though she'll be getting a wage, room and board will most likely be taken off and will only leave her with a small portion of her pay, food and general purchases in ski resorts tend to be silly expensive (unless she preps nicely and doesn't need to pay insane prices for hygiene products and basics).
sex/drugs/and alcohol lots of time to abuse the limited parental guidance.
that being said our local hill tends to have a lovely group of aussies year after year.

If she seems to have no qualms about going away so far to work , I would say great to do something different, it does young people the world of good to travel,work, and experience all different things., My Son did this when he was the same kind of age, except he went to the USA, and travelled to different States all over, and did various jobs in different places..

Sounds like a fantastic opportunity. Perfect thing to do at her age. Something she won't be able to to when tied down with career job, marriage or kids.

You raised a confident adventurer! Well done you!

Just like having a gap year, isn't it, except it's two years, with guaranteed work and accommodation? And in a country that is statistically a lot safer than many gap year destinations.

You do realise the 2 year working holiday is why UK is overrun by Aussie backpackers

Have to admit, was a bit befuddled that someone presumably from the UK hasn't heard of the working holiday deal set up for Commonwealth countries

Heaps of Aussies do the Canada 2 year visa & many work at hotels/ski resorts

I think you should let your daughter live her life & stop trying to stifle her due to your fears. All you will do is clip her wings & not let her mature into the person she was meant to be.

You can't stop an adult going to an overseas country & why would you?

I can see how if I was from the UK Europe wouldn't seem as exotic.

Also "I've never left my hometown or travelled"

I find that quite sad & a small life. Well done for your daughter wanting more for herself & not just following the path you've expected of her.

She sounds like a smart, hardworking & independent person.

I did this at 19, but it was New Zealand for me. I wanted to backpack, but my mum talked me into signing up with an agency and doing a gap year in employment instead.

One of the things I’ve always loved about my parents is that they’ve supported all of my working abroad and never tried to stop me. I always knew I wanted to see the wider world and they supported that. There’s so much out there to see, do and experience. I’d be really pleased she wanted to spread her wings if I were you, there’s so much beauty out there.

She's the perfect age for spreading her wings. It'd be tragic if you or your DH tried to stop her. By all means for your own reassurance check the credibility of the agency but otherwise you need to let her go. There's a whole world out there!

Yabu btw. My dd did the same thing at her age and she had the time of her life.

I live in Vancouver, which is near Whistler. We meet many young people from the Commonwealth working here.

There are temptations and danger everywhere. They learn. DS1 went on a gap year to Asia and Australia. He had one bad experience that cost him. But he learned.

I think Canada is a good as anywhere for them to spread their wings. It could be much worse.

Yes this is a real thing. Thousands do it every year, to Canada, Australia, the UK, NZ. I did it to the UK (from Australia) at 20. My sister went to Whistler to be a ski instructor at 19 knowing no one. She kept going back for four winters before starting uni.

Your daughter will most likely have an amazing time. There will be many other working holiday makers working at Whistler. If it doesn’t work out, she’s just a day away.