that it's not ok to kick out a guest from a party

[OhSoBored2]

If a guess of one family member has a conflict with another family member but behaves generally in a civilized way, talking to other people. As soon as a small altercation occurs, that guest is told to that he's not welcome and to get out of the house while a group of people walking towards him pushing him to the door not even allowing him to pick up their coat from a room (the host went to get it).

AIBU to think that it's very exagerrated? What WOULD justify this reaction? A physical fight?

You so and Adam went to a friend of his ex W party?

She grabbed DH to dance with him and you said people have to ask your permission to dance with him?

So you and ex W have words.

Then ex W, the host and others all crowd push you to the door?

If I have this right no one comes off well from this. You for thinking you have a right to decide what your DH does with whom and them for using physical and intimidating actions to evict you.

The answer clearly lies that you and his ex W do not mix. You don't like each other, don't trust each other and it causes tension where people think they should e a right to take sides.

How unlike the home life of our own dear Queen

@NeverChange

P.S. You gave her the reaction she wanted and the result she wanted. Played into her hands!

Yes that's what I was thinking. So much drama that could have been avoided knowing ex wife and people that don't like you would be there. And you still engaged with ex wife "who was making comments"

I wouldn't want that at my party and I'd be asking someone to leave , whoever I thought was the trouble maker. I wouldn't be asking questions, I'd just not want my party ruined by unnecessary altercations.

I can see the host's problem. If you can't help rising to such a rather pathetic snipe from someone you already know full well is out to wind you up, how far might you go?

The OP did not say she had to give her permission for anyone to dance with her DC. The exW did as a passive aggressive barb.

Sorry her DH.

I’d like to know what this DH was doing while you were being ejected forcefully from the party?

That made me snort NORKS.

So you are friends with the daughter of your dh and ex-wifes friends? Her parents are having a party and you're their as her friend, ex wife is their as her parents friend. Did you know this before you started this relationship your friends parents were in their friendship circle?

Also absolutely bemused as to why you and your DH and kids went to a party you know his ex wife was going to be at (and hosted by her friends).

It sounds as if they were out of order, yes, but you knew where their loyalties would lie. She sounds childish and toxic but you shouldn't have risen to it and you got what you deserved really.

There not their! That's twice I've done that today!

The moral of the story appears to be stay the hell away from them, no exceptions.

Are you friends with the hosts daughter?
Is there a big age difference between you and DH?
You weren't the babysitter were you?

Let me get this straight. You were invited by your step-daughter to a party hosted by some man who is either a partner, friend, or relative of the ex-wife. That person therefore owes 'loyalty' to the ex-wife. Most of the attendees are 'connected' in some way to the ex-wife therefore their 'loyalty' is to her, too.

What did you expect would happen? You were on 'enemy territory'. Did you really think they'd ask her to leave and tell you, the 'outsider' to stay? Chances are even if she'd been a total instigator and you a totally innocent party you would have been the one asked to leave.

I do disagree with how it was handled. The host should have intervened earlier and quietly asked you to leave before other guests got 'physical'. But I have a feeling that you were not all Miss Sweetness and Light in your remarks to the ex regarding her remarks about you. You should have taken the high road, said nothing to her and her pals, thanked the host and left without further comment.

As soon as a small altercation occurs

That passive voice is doing way too much heavy lifting here. How did the altercation occur? Who started it? Who said/did what to whom? If Person A was standing around minding his own business and Person B randomly came up and started yelling at him about something that wasn't Person A's fault in the first place, then yes, it would be wrong to kick Person A out for that (assuming Person B doesn't live there). But I have a hard time believing that's what happened.

Oh dear, even though the daughter invited you presumably her mum and dad are team ex wife and don't particularly want to be friends with you, so I wouldn't have gone based on that.

If I had gone for some reason then I would not be rising to the ex wife's goading. Her friends probably thought you had invaded her territory by being at the party at all and could have thought you approaching her to correct her was very aggressive and deemed you the troublemaker.

The whole party trying to show you out was a bit much but they seem to have seen it as you deliberately upsetting their friend so it's not surprising they wanted you to leave. It doesn't sound like you were that welcome in the first place so YABU to put yourself in that position.

You and ex wife don't get on.
The people at the house, barring the daughter favour her over you.
If there is disagreement they will take her side.
They were heavy handed with you if you were leaving anyway and don't sound very nice people.
Whether its fair doesn't matter they'll do what they like.
Don't go to their house again.
Meet their DD elsewhere.

I think I misunderstood. Was the person who invited you 'their' daughter as in the host's child? Did the host even know you were coming?

I probably wouldn't have gone to the party. But that's neither here nor there. The fact still remains that, invited or not, you were the 'outsider' and the ex-wife was the 'insider'.

I can't make head nor tail of this.

It was the exW who made the sarcastic comment that if anyone wanted to dance with H they'd have to ask OP for permission. OP "that wasn't the case".

Still, you were brave to go! Wasn't going to go well. Have you been in these situations before?

@ElvisPresleyHadABaby

I can't make head nor tail of this.

It's simple - a bunch of unnecessary drama from adults old enough to know better.

It sounds like your SD invited you to someone else's party. Is that right? That seems a very odd thing to do and certainly makes some more sense of why there was so much tension at this party.

Basically your the outsider so you will never ever win.. They wanted some drama and used you to get it .

Don't go again its not worth all the shit that comes with it.

@ElvisPresleyHadABaby

I can't make head nor tail of this.

I think it was Professor Plum in the library with the chair leg. HTH.

Well, I mean - if she was 'telling about you' and then 'the man of the house run them' . . . 🙄

'Have you been in these situations before?'

Frequently, I shouldn't wonder.

@WonderfulYou

The answer is to stop hanging out with the ex, and not to go to parties if you know the host dislikes you (even if invited by the host's daughter).

I completely agree.
Poor kids.

This sounds like a plot from Real Housewives.

OP If you can tell us which one of these is X,Y and Z We can tell you who is in the wrong.