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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

that it's not ok to kick out a guest from a party

201 replies

OhSoBored2 · 14/11/2021 17:38

If a guess of one family member has a conflict with another family member but behaves generally in a civilized way, talking to other people. As soon as a small altercation occurs, that guest is told to that he's not welcome and to get out of the house while a group of people walking towards him pushing him to the door not even allowing him to pick up their coat from a room (the host went to get it).

AIBU to think that it's very exagerrated? What WOULD justify this reaction? A physical fight?

OP posts:
dapsnotplimsolls · 14/11/2021 18:15

OP is Y, I assume?

2bazookas · 14/11/2021 18:16

Of course they had every right to throw him out .

KimmyKimdoo · 14/11/2021 18:16

Sounds like Y is a nightmare and needed to leave.

Notimeforaname · 14/11/2021 18:18

So, someone who is jealous of you said something which you corrected , then that person and everyone else kicked you out ?

Helpstopthepain · 14/11/2021 18:19

It’s all a bit secret spy games.

What did you say to piss people off?

WallaceinAnderland · 14/11/2021 18:22

I blame Z

MadMadMadamMim · 14/11/2021 18:22

I lost it at all the X and Y stuff.

But your OP said a guest of one family member had an altercation with another family member.

If you were at my house as a guest and you had an altercation with one of my family I'd have asked you to leave.

It's rude to fall out with people when you are a guest in someone's home and the host has every right to ask you to leave the party. You are spoiling it for others.

Gliderx · 14/11/2021 18:23

Well, clearly physically ejecting someone is a bit much unless they are being violent or aggressive or refusing to leave when asked. But the host is entirely within their rights verbally to ask any guest to leave for whatever reason. So if you were immediately physically ejected without being given a chance to leave by yourself then YANBU. Is that what happened?

ChippyChipper · 14/11/2021 18:23

I think the replies would be different if you’d put that it was a relatives party, you have an issue with your sister who was also there. Your sister started talking crap about you so you responded to stick up for yourself without shouting or throwing insults and was then forced out of the house in front of your DH and DC.

If that’s the case, your family sound toxic and I would be going NC after that.

Soontobe60 · 14/11/2021 18:25

@Jumpingintochristmas

OP are you Y or X?
I’m guessing Y
Helpstopthepain · 14/11/2021 18:29

Did you try to use Jack daniels in a drinking game and x said not to?

LostForWords2021 · 14/11/2021 18:30

Sorry, I don't get it at all

girlmom21 · 14/11/2021 18:32

@Helpstopthepain

Did you try to use Jack daniels in a drinking game and x said not to?
GrinGrinGrin
Whatiswrongwithmyknee · 14/11/2021 18:32

'generally civilised' is not civilised enough

TractorAndHeadphones · 14/11/2021 18:33

@Helpstopthepain

Did you try to use Jack daniels in a drinking game and x said not to?
oh the drama today Grin hahaha

I have no idea what's going on with the X abd Y's. Post properly or don't post on a public forum at all crikey

StaplesCorner · 14/11/2021 18:34

OP - r u Y? Go NC. HTH.

littlebigtiger · 14/11/2021 18:35

I've been in such a situation before where I've been hosting.

If I'm a host in my own home I have the right to have anyone removed if they insult me, my loved ones, or my beliefs.

If someone is being a dick in my home I will ask them to leave and I have done. I've told people within my own family to leave for racist / sexist comments.

Is that a problem?

Cherrysoup · 14/11/2021 18:36

So it wasn’t the host who decided Y was leaving? Sounds like a chavvy Eastenders episode! Maybe Y should have kept their mouth shut, although X sounds like they deliberately provoked her.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 14/11/2021 18:38

What did you do exactly?

NFLBingo · 14/11/2021 18:38

So X made a statement that Y didn’t agree with, so Y corrected them and was then slagged off and as they rose to it were then kicked out of the party? I feel like we need to know what was originally said, as if it’s not something that needed correcting then Y probably just said it to be catty.
Either way I’d have kicked you both out Grin

SirensofTitan · 14/11/2021 18:39

@Ozanj

Depends on what the altercation was and the history.
Not at all, the host can choose who they want in their home for whatever reason they decide
RitaFires · 14/11/2021 18:39

@ChippyChipper

I think the replies would be different if you’d put that it was a relatives party, you have an issue with your sister who was also there. Your sister started talking crap about you so you responded to stick up for yourself without shouting or throwing insults and was then forced out of the house in front of your DH and DC.

If that’s the case, your family sound toxic and I would be going NC after that.

I read it as the ejected party was invited by a member of the host family and X is another member of the host family and that Y isn't actually related to any of them.

OP can you clarify what relation X is to the host as in was the party at their home too or are they merely related to the party host? And whether Y is related to anyone in the story? It's relevant to judge how badly people behaved.

lynntheyresexpeople · 14/11/2021 18:40

Y is very obviously stirring shit and should have been told to go

CherieBabySpliffUp · 14/11/2021 18:40

If the host wasn't X then from the limited info you have given I think X overstepped the mark by evicting Y.
What did Ys family do?
Were they asked to leave too?

Original poster
OhSoBored2 · 14/11/2021 18:42

@ChippyChipper

I think the replies would be different if you’d put that it was a relatives party, you have an issue with your sister who was also there. Your sister started talking crap about you so you responded to stick up for yourself without shouting or throwing insults and was then forced out of the house in front of your DH and DC.

If that’s the case, your family sound toxic and I would be going NC after that.

I thought it would be easier to put X and Y, but it was me and my husband's ex wife (who clings to him that's why I mentioned jealosy, not that I'm this perfect woman) who made a comment that to dance with him people need to ask for my permission. Obviously, when she wants to dance with him, she just grabs him, so I understood that she was being sarcastic and told her that it's not like that. I think she didn't like my tone of voice. She was NOT the host. The host are her friends and I was personally invited by their daughter. And while the daughter loves me, they do generally dislike me and it's a long story.

So when the ex wife started telling about me (I clearly heard my name) I approached and she loudly told me that I'm not welcome. Again, she was not the host. So the man of the house run them and instead of telling people to calm down told me that I had to leave (we were ALREADY leaving). And the whole group (other women and him) started walking towards me pushing me towards the exit without even letting me get my coat.

I would think that only someone who starts a huge fight physical or verbal deserves this kind of treatment, but I guess I was wrong. This has never happened to me.

OP posts:
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