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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friend refusing to share bottle of spirit at party

257 replies

IreneSmith · 14/11/2021 13:22

So, I want some opinions, who is right, me or my friend?

A group of friends get together for a party, we then move onto drinking games.

Now usually whenever anyone brings spirits or anything to a party (myself included) its for everyone to drink...at least I thought.

So, I start pouring the next drink to be used in the game when one of my friends grabs the bottle out of my hand forcefully (literally).

This one friend refused to allow her bottle of spirit to be used in drinking games, as according to her it was a gift to the host (another friend) and not for wasting in drinking games.

My issue it 3 fold:

  1. It was outside on the main table and open, so I thought its fair for anyone to drink/use it. (If host wanted to keep it, they would have out it away)
  1. It was a bottle of Jack Daniel...which imo is only good as a mixer or for drinking games. (I.e. it wasn't a proper whisky, brandy, cognac or fine wine)
  1. It was very rude to just grab the bottle out of my hand forcefully. She could have let me finish pouring the drink, then explained how she felt and asked if we could use something else / another bottle going forward.

The host looked perplexed when this happened and didnt say anything, they didnt care either way / it got awkward.

Imo, I think my friend was being awkward and rude (the bottle grabbing really annoyed me). Am I wrong, is she wrong?

OP posts:
LubaLuca · 14/11/2021 13:24

What do you think Jack Daniels is?

nonettles · 14/11/2021 13:25

It doesn’t sound like she handled it well, but imo you were wrong to make assumptions and open a bottle that didn’t belong to you, without checking first that it was ok.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 14/11/2021 13:26

If this is the biggest problem in your life right now, just chill out FFS.

Not your booze that someone else took. It is up to the host to sort it out. If they are OK with it then just stop making a drama out of nothing.

SoniaFouler · 14/11/2021 13:26

@nonettles

It doesn’t sound like she handled it well, but imo you were wrong to make assumptions and open a bottle that didn’t belong to you, without checking first that it was ok.
The bottle was already open though.

She was wrong for snatching but I also sort of see her point (though I don’t agree with it) and it’s not like she brought it round and drank it herself and refused to share it. She might have been embarrassed if she had brought it and people drank it and then it looked like she hadn’t bought a gift for the host. Like I said I don’t agree with it but i think that’s where she’s coming from

OverByYer · 14/11/2021 13:28

I had a party last week. I had gin, rum and vodka open for people to help themselves. I was also given some nice gin and wine as gifts which I put to one side and didn’t open.
Guests also brought wine and beers to stick on the table.
If the host wanted to keep the JD as a gift she should have put it to one side

Original poster
IreneSmith · 14/11/2021 13:30

@nonettles

It doesn’t sound like she handled it well, but imo you were wrong to make assumptions and open a bottle that didn’t belong to you, without checking first that it was ok.
It was already open and being drunk. (She just didnt want it to be used in drinking games.)

But even if it wasn't already open, if I leave bottles of spirit or wine out on a table at a party, im happy for my guests to help themselves! Or I wouldnt have left them outside.

OP posts:
Thevoiceofreason2021 · 14/11/2021 13:30

It wasn’t yours to hand out. You should have asked the host.

Original poster
IreneSmith · 14/11/2021 13:31

@OverByYer

I had a party last week. I had gin, rum and vodka open for people to help themselves. I was also given some nice gin and wine as gifts which I put to one side and didn’t open. Guests also brought wine and beers to stick on the table. If the host wanted to keep the JD as a gift she should have put it to one side
@OverByYer

Thanks, that was exactly my point. She gave it to the host, the host left it outside for people at party to use. (If the host didnt want people to use it, she would have kept it inside / put it away)

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 14/11/2021 13:32

Drinking games? How old are you all?

Original poster
IreneSmith · 14/11/2021 13:33

@Thevoiceofreason2021

It wasn’t yours to hand out. You should have asked the host.
Rofl, at my parties, I do not expect anyone to ask me if they can have a beer, a shot or glass if wine each time. If I leave it outside its for my guests!
OP posts:
Original poster
IreneSmith · 14/11/2021 13:33

@PurpleDaisies

Drinking games? How old are you all?
Early 30s
OP posts:
TotallySuper · 14/11/2021 13:34

Based on you saying ROFL and thinking JD is a mixer you must be around 18/19? I wouldn't give it anymore thought and just chalk it up to experience.

nonettles · 14/11/2021 13:34

oh sorry, well if it’s open and already being drunk then I think she was being rather unreasonable.

KittenCatcher · 14/11/2021 13:39

JD is the USA oldest whisky, its 40% proof and expensive, I wouldnt use it for a drinking game unless I wanted to be unconscious.

Original poster
IreneSmith · 14/11/2021 13:44
  1. 30s
  1. Rofl was invented by my generation during the time of MSN messenger. Kids these days /newer gens have no claim to it.
  1. JD is a cheap whisky and no good for savoring. Hence when I say mixer, I meant for use in drinking games; or is only palatable when mixed imo.
OP posts:
SnowyPetals · 14/11/2021 13:44

Any alcohol brought to a party is fine to be drunk by all of the guests. As PP have said, if it was a special gift, the host should put it away out of circulation. Having drinks at a party only for specific people or purposes is bonkers in my opinion.

amber763 · 14/11/2021 13:46

It wasn't yours! It's not cheap and just because you don't like it doesn't mean you can waste it on a game.

Original poster
IreneSmith · 14/11/2021 13:46

@KittenCatcher

Apart from Bells and High Commissioner, JD is the next cheapest whisky i know of! (Although will admit its the same price as johnny walker red label).

OP posts:
Original poster
IreneSmith · 14/11/2021 13:46

@SnowyPetals

Glad you agree Grin

OP posts:
godmum56 · 14/11/2021 13:47

@IreneSmith

1. 30s
  1. Rofl was invented by my generation during the time of MSN messenger. Kids these days /newer gens have no claim to it.
  1. JD is a cheap whisky and no good for savoring. Hence when I say mixer, I meant for use in drinking games; or is only palatable when mixed imo.
rofl predates you babe!
HippeePrincess · 14/11/2021 13:47

The grabbing friend is tight and controlling. As are some on this thread. JD expensive? Pmsl it’s regularly 20 quid for a litre and tastes like it too, deffo not one to savour!
All open booze at parties is fair game.

Movingsoon21 · 14/11/2021 13:48

YANBU, any bottles left out on a table at a party are for general consumption. The host puts away anything they don’t want to share. And also v true about JD being a cheap mixing whisky. “JD & Coke” is a standard young person’s cheap drink on a night out if they prefer whisky to gin or vodka

Fernando072020 · 14/11/2021 13:48

Your friend is being unreasonable for the fact it no longer belonged to her. It was a gift for the host so it wasn't up to her to dictate how the JD would be drunk.

It was the hosts' place to say something and she didn't. Thus, your friend is bu.

PinkiOcelot · 14/11/2021 13:49

@IreneSmith JD is £32 a bottle at Tesco so hardly a cheap mixer.

ABCeasyasdohrayme · 14/11/2021 13:49

JD is pretty expensive to be used for drinking shots in a game. I don't blame her for being pissed off

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