Friend refusing to share bottle of spirit at party

[IreneSmith]

So, I want some opinions, who is right, me or my friend?

A group of friends get together for a party, we then move onto drinking games.

Now usually whenever anyone brings spirits or anything to a party (myself included) its for everyone to drink...at least I thought.

So, I start pouring the next drink to be used in the game when one of my friends grabs the bottle out of my hand forcefully (literally).

This one friend refused to allow her bottle of spirit to be used in drinking games, as according to her it was a gift to the host (another friend) and not for wasting in drinking games.

My issue it 3 fold:

1. It was outside on the main table and open, so I thought its fair for anyone to drink/use it. (If host wanted to keep it, they would have out it away)

1. It was a bottle of Jack Daniel...which imo is only good as a mixer or for drinking games. (I.e. it wasn't a proper whisky, brandy, cognac or fine wine)

1. It was very rude to just grab the bottle out of my hand forcefully. She could have let me finish pouring the drink, then explained how she felt and asked if we could use something else / another bottle going forward.

The host looked perplexed when this happened and didnt say anything, they didnt care either way / it got awkward.

Imo, I think my friend was being awkward and rude (the bottle grabbing really annoyed me). Am I wrong, is she wrong?

It was rude yeah. If it was for the host then why care what it's used for. I'd maybe ask if they were cool with it and then shrug it off 🤷‍♀️. Alcohol is to be drunk and as you say, it wasn't anything special or unique.

I'd have voted YABU, except for one thing..."Outside, sitting on the table, opened." I'd have assumed it was for anyone, as well, as would most people. If the person it belonged to did not feel that way, it should have been kept with him/her, closed, and away from the general stock of drinks.

some people get short tempered and argumentative when they've had too much to drink - maybe even a bit paranoid and take offence at stuff that really doesn't matter.

sound like anyone OP?

You know nothing about drinks, do you? Jack Daniels is a Tennessee mash whiskey and as real as anything you would be drinking. That is why it is the same price as good gin, Scotch whisky, rum or vodka.
As for the scenario, maybe someone is wanting attention rather than an opinion...

If it'd been a nice bottle, I'd have maybe understood, but JD is just your standard shite.

@JesusIsAnyNameFree

People do drinking games in their 30s? Incredible. Did you do spin the bottle too?

There is an age limit on drinking games? Really? I'll have to tell my nan. Send me a list of the things I am too old for now I'm in my 30s please? I'm obviously doing it wrong

JD isn't a high end whisky, it's like smirnoff vodka or Gordon's gin. You wouldn't think "oh that looks like an expensive drink, too good for games." I don't think YABU.

YABVU to fall out with friends over drinking games aged 30.

AllThingsServeTheBeam - I played my first and only drinking game on my 18th birthday. No adult I know plays them probably not due to their 'age' but rather their maturity and the fact they have responsibility.

I think it's quite telling about the kind of person with so much free time and lack of responsibilities that in their 30s they can waste 2+ days (one on being almost instantly wasted and one or more on the recovery time) on getting blackout blottoed for shits and giggles.

What is more bizarre is not that a 30-year-old is getting drunk (it happens to everyone at some point when you don't pace yourself correctly) but more that being that much of a pisshead lush she can polish off a spirit in a quick game yet still looking down her nose on a £20 bottle which she expected to drink on someone else's dime because she didn't bring her own drink to drink.

Sounds like a drinking problem rather than a 'game' honestly but then alcoholics always try to make light of their issue and pretend its 'normal' and 'fun'.

@mam0918

AllThingsServeTheBeam - I played my first and only drinking game on my 18th birthday. No adult I know plays them probably not due to their 'age' but rather their maturity and the fact they have responsibility.

I think it's quite telling about the kind of person with so much free time and lack of responsibilities that in their 30s they can waste 2+ days (one on being almost instantly wasted and one or more on the recovery time) on getting blackout blottoed for shits and giggles.

What is more bizarre is not that a 30-year-old is getting drunk (it happens to everyone at some point when you don't pace yourself correctly) but more that being that much of a pisshead lush she can polish off a spirit in a quick game yet still looking down her nose on a £20 bottle which she expected to drink on someone else's dime because she didn't bring her own drink to drink.

Sounds like a drinking problem rather than a 'game' honestly but then alcoholics always try to make light of their issue and pretend its 'normal' and 'fun'.

Dear god almighty 😂 You sound like a bloody blast!

I am in my 30s. I don't play drinking games every weekend but if we were at a party or camping and the situation arose I wouldn't turn it down. I don't have 2 day hangovers and I manage my responsibilities fine even though I also juggle being really bloody disabled. People who have a drink even on occasion to excess are not alcoholics.

If I'm going to a party with friends of friends etc and people I don't know I usually take a generic bottle of spirit I'm not arsed about seeing ever again. If it's with close friends we usually take stuff we really like and have the odd glass of eaxhothers. I'd be annoyed if mine was whittled away during a drinking game to be honest. Different to people grabbing a few drinks of eachothers! Why didn't you take something that could be used in drinking games, were you just drinking everyone else's?

I wouldn’t automatically assume that a drink someone else had brought to a party was fair game unless I’d been told it was.

I'm 43 and like a drinking game. Although last weekend we missed out the games and just did lots of shots

I'm not a fan of whisky but JD isn't one you'd drink without adding a mixer to it (except when you are using it for shots)

Nothing wrong with a drinking game
I'm 44
🥃🍾🥃

@Laurie000

If you were all drinking then perhaps I would just put your friends behaviour down to being a little bit drunk. Do they normally behave like that? I’d just let it go and avoid using bottles of JD in drinking games in future. Personally, I wouldn’t use JD in a drinking game as I don’t consider it to be a cheap drink. Just be mindful that your version of “cheap” might be another persons version of “pricey”.

Is being drunk really an excuse for being at arse?

The thing is £20 for a litre of spirits is cheap, there is not much lower priced than that these days, although a 70cl bottle might have a cheaper headline cost.

@Mirw

You know nothing about drinks, do you? Jack Daniels is a Tennessee mash whiskey and as real as anything you would be drinking. That is why it is the same price as good gin, Scotch whisky, rum or vodka. As for the scenario, maybe someone is wanting attention rather than an opinion...

JD is £20 a bottle, JD themselves class it as their entry level, they offer premium versions. A good gin is £30-50 a bottle, as is a rum or vodka, a good whisky can easily be £60+.

Rofl, at my parties, I do not expect anyone to ask me if they can have a beer, a shot or glass if wine each time. If I leave it outside its for my guests!

But it wasn't your party. Your friend who grabbed it off you thought you were being rude - maybe so did your friend who was hosting. Especially if you didn't bring any drinking games booze yourself

@jetadore

Fucking hell, there’s some real party animals on here tonight. It’s reasonable to assume that any booze that’s put out at a party is for the guests to help themselves to. And yes, JD is a bog standard mixing whiskey.

Agree with this. I always though generally if you bring a bottle of spirits and it’s on a communal table it’s fair game. If the host was happy for it to be out then it was ok to be used. I also agree JD is a bog standard spirit, not a special drink to be savoured.

Love all the people commenting about how the OP should be past drinking games by now. As far as I remember there wasn’t an age limit on a bit of fun and as long as you aren’t doing it every night what’s the harm? Sometimes the odd drinking game or shot just happens and is fun!

@mam0918

AllThingsServeTheBeam - I played my first and only drinking game on my 18th birthday. No adult I know plays them probably not due to their 'age' but rather their maturity and the fact they have responsibility.

I think it's quite telling about the kind of person with so much free time and lack of responsibilities that in their 30s they can waste 2+ days (one on being almost instantly wasted and one or more on the recovery time) on getting blackout blottoed for shits and giggles.

What is more bizarre is not that a 30-year-old is getting drunk (it happens to everyone at some point when you don't pace yourself correctly) but more that being that much of a pisshead lush she can polish off a spirit in a quick game yet still looking down her nose on a £20 bottle which she expected to drink on someone else's dime because she didn't bring her own drink to drink.

Sounds like a drinking problem rather than a 'game' honestly but then alcoholics always try to make light of their issue and pretend its 'normal' and 'fun'.

I still play drinking games and as for responsibility... ask my bosses and the execs I report to ;) Not everyone's a lightweight

I don't play drinking games all the time but, if there is a situation where I could, I would and do, I'm 36.

Also, this is Mumsnet so if you drink more than an egg cup of booze every 4th Christmas, you're an alcoholic.

I think your friend was probably drinking the JD and wanted to continue drinking it and wrongly tried to stop you from using it in the game.

Play drinking games all you want, but let's not pretend it's a common thing past 25ish.

I used to be a Terrible drinker. And I would fill my gin bottle up with tonic before I went out so I didn't feel pressured to drink.
Also I only actually like a few brands so I would be pissed off if I couldn't drink anything after I'd brought stuff.

If it was a present I would expect that to be kept seperate as thats a gift not for everyone else to consume

Id be more worried that you are using a 40% spirit for a drinking game age 30. Thats a lot of units for fun.

@JesusIsAnyNameFree

Play drinking games all you want, but let's not pretend it's a common thing past 25ish.

Maybe not in your circle of friends or family. But it is in plenty of others.

MatildaIThink - a CHEAP spirit is something like Vodkat which is £8.

Factually even standard JD is a mid-range commercial spirit in a shop.