@CSIblonde
Since I moved, I've had a weekly coffee with my neighbour, at his instigation. He's 70, lots of family locally, who he sees daily. It was fine at first, but now he won't stop asking me to go for a meal with him. I felt that was too much as he said he wouldn't split the bill or take turns paying. He also said worryingly "We'll go tor a few meal's & maybe see what happens". I very firmly squashed the more than friendship angle he was hinting at , but he's still bringing it up all the time, like a broken record. I now want to stop the weekly coffee as his persisting is making me uneasy. But that feels mean . WWYD?
Ah, that dratted female socialisation that makes us be polite, be nice, be kind, even in situations where our gut is telling us to get out
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You were trying to be neighbourly. He has misread that as romantic attraction. TBH, he'd probably have misread you turning him down for coffee as 'ooh, she's playing hard to get, she must be interested in me!'.
So - stop being nice and polite. If you want to be kind, remember that sometimes you must be 'cruel to be kind' (in a 'yes your bum does look big in that, shall we find you something else to wear' kind of way). You're going to need to put your Big Girl Pants on and be blunt and firm. Something along the lines of
'I don't want to go for a meal with you. You seem to think that's going to lead to romance, and it just isn't. I've already told you that, but still you persist; and frankly, your refusal to hear the word "no" is really creeping me out, and you need to stop it now.'
Don't soften it, don't spare his feelings (he has no regard for yours).
And if you want to stop the weekly coffee, do so. 'Having coffee seems to raise your hopes of more so I think it's best if we just knock it on the head'.
As for "But that feels mean" - no it isn't. What is mean is not listening when your neighbour - an acquaintance! - tells you "no". Now THAT is really mean!