Husband wants to eat a mouthful of my dinner just as I sit down with it

[beatrice82]

9:30pm not stopped with work, taking kids to clubs, feeding children, laundry, housework then made my own very quick tea - pasta with leftover salmon.

Sat down.

Husband watching football after a busy day at work, makes comment on the amount on my plate.

Literally the second I sat down with my plate popped on the coffee table whilst I plump the cushions behind me, ready to enjoy... husband wants a mouthful of my food.

He already knows I find this off putting but for an easy life, I say yes, as long as I can't see and proceed to cover my eyes.

He laughs and says I'm weird. I remind him that I've literally sat down to enjoy my dinner and he's fussing to have some. He then uses the opportunity to remind me of weird I am in general.

I tell him he's being unkind, and ask if he thinks this conversation is helping our relationship. He laughs and carried on watching the football.

I told him that he's being the weird one to treat me like that, and any other person would think he was being out of line.

AIBU to want to enjoy my dinner in peace without being pestered, judged or called names?

What’s a smoker?

He’s a prick, I hate this and my son asks regularly for my food. I tell him no! I’d tell anyone no!

@beatrice82

I don't really want to break up our family. I just want him to stop being unkind and go back to how he was 10 years ago

Have you said this to him?

Laugh at him and say ‘why are you always begging for bits off my plate, like a dog?’

That would piss me off too- the comments about how much was on my plate, the expectation of being able to eat some of it before I even had any myself, the repeatedly calling me a weirdo because I have a problem with his dickhead behaviour.

Honestly, just say no next time. If he moans, leave the room or tell him to stop being a twat, whatever.

Argh my four year old does this.

There is nothing I wouldn’t do for or give that girl. But Jesus Christ it drives me mental.

Tell him it’s weird to keep eating off someone else’s plate rather than getting something for himself, and it’s even weirder to keep banging on about it.

Why not just respect the fact that I don't like anyone using my cutlery to take food off my plate?

Why don't YOU respect the fact that you don't like anyone using your cutlery to take food off your plate? Instead of doing silly, passive aggressive things like covering your eyes/turning your face away, just say no.

Did he help with the bedtime routine or did he carry on watching TV while you were hungry and had to wait and have a late supper?

And yes he is being an arse, please stop tolerating this behaviour.

@Pumpkinsonparade

You should have stabbed him with your fork. Half joking..

^ YANBU Tell him no. Or chuck some of whatever you are having on a side plate.

I wouldn’t like someone eating off my plate either. Even my own husband. No.
It sounds like there may be bigger issues though, you sound like you do a lot on your own and are resentful of him.

Just start saying no.

If he respects your decision, good for you both. If he doesn't, ltb. It's a sign of bigger issues that you can't fix.

So he knows how much you hate it but still asks?

Hopefully saying no a couple of times will stop him.

Does he often "police" your eating?

I can't stand people eating from my plate either. It's my food and yes it could put me off eating the rest. Does that make me weird? I don't give a shit, don't eat my fucking food.

Whatever we do, we try to eat together. It’s just nicer.

@MrsSkylerWhite could you just list some of the other things that you do better than the rest of us?

Could be a handy learning tool for the more shit parents than you.

Do people really tell their OHs to piss off or fuck off all the time? Seems that way on mumsnet!

Op it sounds as though you really dislike each other and this is about much more than food.

This would annoy me so much on 2 levels. 1 is I make the amount of food I know I need to feel satisfied so if another person takes some of it I will feel unsatisfied at the end of the meal. 2 is if I have been dealing with the children all evening and then sit down for peace time to then just get hassled by someone else who wants something from me it would make me absolutely boil with rage. YASNBU

Nobody would be eating from my plate. Fuck off with that.

But the issue here is that you don't seem to like each other much.

He sounds maddening. If he wasn't such a twat I'd be offering a small bowl of his own at the same time but he'd've lost that!

Annoying that he commented on the size of your portion - none of his business. You should of just said no - you’re married I don’t understand why you can’t say something as simple as this. Regarding being weird, your reaction IS weird, having to cover your eyes or hide your face is a strange reaction. I got the impression he was laughing about your ‘quirks’ surely there must be things he does that baffles you? It’s all very touchy sensitive. He was being unreasonable for asking for your food, you were unreasonable for not just saying no. His comments about your weird reactions I couldn’t get worked up over.

I'd stick a fork in his soft tissues if he tried that with me.

Don't you make dinner for each other?

Sounds like a weird ownership dominance thing.

Very unattractive and I'm betting it's not just your dinner he does this with.

Talk to him. Ask him to clear the table. Tell him again that you hate him eating from your plate. Tell him not to call you names.

His reaction will tell you a lot.

You deserve better.