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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Joining mi6- this is crazy right?

238 replies

user14943608381 · 12/11/2021 16:47

So posting for traffic.

Pre warned this is crazy but I promise it’s true.

I’d posted under another nickname of brother who has a history of lying and I’m not talking little white lies I’m talking pathological as well as really frankly dangerous behaviour. Stole pension money from elderly grandmother (was her x mas money and he cut it out of her suitcase), stole 10k worth of jewellery, pushed father undergoing chemo over, held knife to mothers throat, not mentioning the amount of times he hit me 6 ways to Sunday. He was never held accountable for anything which is why I think we have this issue today.

But the previous post was an elaborate tale of him joining the navy. He told this to my very sick (and now passed away father), he bought a few Royal Navy T-shirt’s from the highstreet (pretending they were part of his training uniform), army style boots and epaulettes from god knows where to illustrate the scam. No military in the family so all a bit ignorant on this. DF unbeknownst to everyone was suffering and easily confused, he totally fell for it. Brother, mid 30s , was at the time working as a waiter (earning close to min wage, no shaming here just for income purposes) made several elaborate purchases in a year that as a minimum would have cost 50k. Father was wealthy, it is my strong suspicion that the navy was used to gain money from a v sick and vulnerable person. Reason for believing it’s a scam there was no commendation ceremony, he alleged you get epaulettes as a gesture of good will from the navy and said he was so skilled they fast tracked his application and shortened basic training and was offered an incredibly senior commanding position with 0 experience.

This was 4 months ago, brother is still working as a waiter but now is telling other vulnerable relatives (widowed mum and GM) that he’s been enrolled in mi6 as an intelligence operative as they work under authority of the navy (of which is apparently as the rank of lieutenant commander), there are implications he’ll need money to move to london to do this. He’s screenshotted me his application, which just confirms an application submitted, not a post being offered and he said he can’t disclose more for ‘issues of national security’ and that image was from 12 weeks ago, but I looked online and it says it’s a 9 months hiring process, obviously because caliber of the person needs to be seriously vetted.

Can anyone confirm that his story is bollox? He can’t be joining mi6? He also said they have a join whenever start date policy. I’m concerned this is yet another scam and each time he gets away with it and leaves me to pick up the pieces of humiliated and upset relatives who despite past knowledge fall for it every single time.

The steer from family will be to carry on as if it’s true but I’m sure this has to be a crime? And I can’t be complicit in that.

I also have real concerns about how dangerous he could be if successful in application.

OP posts:
Pipsquiggle · 13/11/2021 21:11

So OP why don't you speak to his ex?

You keep talking about getting in touch with the navy /MI6 when surely the best option would be going to the ex?

user14943608381 · 13/11/2021 21:18

@Pipsquiggle

So OP why don't you speak to his ex?

You keep talking about getting in touch with the navy /MI6 when surely the best option would be going to the ex?

Conscious if they get back together, think it’s only been a week or two max they split. House isn’t on the market yet. I’m imagining their split was acrimonious but I don’t know for sure, worried it would get back to him in all honesty. Guess I could drop her a social media message saying sorry to hear what happened and see what comes from it?

Navy was a no brainer to contact as at that point ex thought he was joining navy too. Navy has a pretty responsive Fb chat on recruitment.

OP posts:
WhiteVanWoman91 · 13/11/2021 21:23

Sister is quite senior in MOD. There is no way in hell he's working for MI6. Utter Bobby Bullshitter. 🤣

Pipsquiggle · 13/11/2021 21:28

Just did a 5 min Google. Navy recruitment at a 'squaddie' level is quite a few assessments /interviews then 10 weeks basic training on camp.

Officer level is loads of assessments and interviews and then 30 weeks training at Dartmouth

user14943608381 · 13/11/2021 21:58

Exactly and I googled the grad scheme and none of what he said matched that, not even in terms or navy hierarchy and career progression.

He said as he was a command role and not a combat one he didn’t have to do basic training in the barracks and got rushed through to lieutenant commander based on a fast track application and ‘exceptionally high test scores’ he also claimed there was ‘saving face’ going on as AFCo ( I don’t know what that is) messed him about so he missed the start of basic, so then had a few basic modules to do and then some specialist modules to do but you need to be at the rank of lieutenant to do the specialist ones, and so that’s how he got the rank so quickly so he didn’t kick up a fuss

I know it’s ridiculous

OP posts:
Praguemum · 13/11/2021 21:58

Sounds like a sociopath. My brother was approached to join the secret service. They approach you, not the other way around. If you accept, you cannot tell anyone, not even your family or partner, as it puts them at risk. If you do, you're out. So, he's talking bollocks. But you knew that.

Bertiebiscuit · 13/11/2021 22:31

Why would you ever believe anything he says - or even talk to him???? Psycho, should be under lock and key

Pipsquiggle · 13/11/2021 22:36

He is talking such BS.

Everyone. Literally EVERYONE does basic training. If he is the rank he says he is, he should have gone to Dartmouth for 30 weeks or spent at least a few years in service to be hand picked.

I am frankly flabbergasted that your family are falling for this shit.

user14943608381 · 13/11/2021 23:03

I know it’s a bit embarrassing which is why I don’t really want to talk to friends about it, but it’s because they are all painfully naive and as daft as it sounds, the way he talks, he’s very convincing. He wasn’t living with my parents so could say he was doing some training but on a more adhoc basis.

OP posts:
Justilou1 · 13/11/2021 23:06

Couple of things… I don’t know about Uk, but in Aus, passing yourself off as a military person (especially for financial gain) but not only for this reason… (to be manipulative also, or to be intimidating.) IS a crime. Mocking up his uniform would be evidence enough, so would stories about Plymouth, etc…
These dickheads take themselves so seriously they even try claiming veteran’s pensions.

Also… surprised he’s lasted as long as he has as a waiter, really.

madisoncat · 13/11/2021 23:10

Your brother is full of BS. As has been said he's got the Walter Mitty fantasy going on.

One of our AC failed to get into the M's. We didn't know until after the "Thanks but No Thanks Letter" even though they ticked lots of the M's boxes and was working in a similar line of work at the time.

There is a Walter Mitty Hunters Club - no duff - may be you can contact them and get him busted.

user14943608381 · 13/11/2021 23:38

He’s bounced around 5 or so establishments that I know of, 2 big bust ups with owners. Brief stint in a computer shop too before falling out with the owner, then back to waitering… whilst ‘in the navy’.

I did contact the Walter Mitty hunter club after my last post but no one replied unfortunately

OP posts:
terrywynne · 13/11/2021 23:57

Naval training in Oxford??? That town which is well known for its coast... at least RAF might have been plausible with the nearby bases (though not sure They are training bases).

OP, I don't think there is much you can do for your mum. If she his bank cards she knows what he's like and just doesn't want to hear it I'm afraid. I would let your uncle know he is making up crap again done can help your grandmother. But after that I would take a step back. You have done what you can passing on information to adults, and you need to protect your own mental well-being.

If he is threatening you I would report that to the police as he has been violent before.

Justilou1 · 14/11/2021 00:03

Oooh! Contact the hunter’s club!

crymeapuddle · 14/11/2021 00:07

Why don't you book a family meal at a restaurant. You could accidentally bump into him actually at work.

TheMilkyWeigh · 14/11/2021 01:08

Some years ago I applied to MI5. Not quite the same as MI6 but similar. It was a very long process of assessments, interviews, etc. I got through to almost the final round of the selection process and that was about 6 months after I first applied. I know I applied just after Christmas one year - determined to make a fresh start for the new year and all that - and I remember the final assessment in London being a very hot summer’s day. So it must have been a good 6 months.

Throughout the entire process we were sworn to secrecy. Not even my parents knew I had applied. When we went to the assessments they were held in Regus-style temporary offices with a fake company name on the door - something like KJR Associates or something so that other users of they building had no clue. I have a masters degree and I found the assessments challenging. I actually enjoyed being challenged and that was part of my reason behind wanting to switch careers.

His stay here is nonsense.

gotthearse · 14/11/2021 02:20

If you think he may financially exploit a vulnerable relative you need to call the adult safeguarding team at the local authority and tell them everything. They work jointly with the police and adult social care. You should tell them that you think he also exploited your father, and ask them to investigate. They can also advise of safeguards that could be put in place.

Imposter1 · 14/11/2021 07:58

I had a friend work for MI5 (an admin job and she no longer works there) this was many years ago when we were in university. I was put down on her application as a personal reference.

A man actually came to my house to interview me and asked me all sorts of weird questions about her. Was she affiliated with any terrorist groups? Even asked me about her “romantic” past and previous boyfriends. It was extremely detailed. And was several months after her original application.

Rainbowsew · 14/11/2021 09:12

@Justilou1

I think you should get your family prepared for their MI6 interviews then!!! (Like your “friend”.…That’ll make him squirm!) The thing with families who have an arsehole member like this is that they’re so desperate for him to be a decent human that they have to help try and hold up the screen for the image to be projected onto… They absolutely don’t want their bubble to burst, so that THEY have to face the truth because it’s too painful.
This is the issue here, the family are to scared to face up to the pain of admitting how bad he is, it will perhaps highlight failings of their own (real or imagined), there is nothing you can do to change that sadly.

My in laws are like this with their daughter despite DH seeing through all her bullshit they believe the lies she spouts (nothing to this level at all!)
Because to see otherwise is to admit they failed her in their parenting. So they just bung her a few more quid to make themselves feel better. They try with DH but he won't accept, as a result he makes them feel uncomfortable because their easy fix (throw ££ at it) for a situation doesn't work.

Mwoo99 · 14/11/2021 10:03

As previous poster alludes to Bond/navy connection - he’s probably been to see the new film and got this idea for developing his navy story. ? Unfortunately, lying isn’t in itself a crime I don’t think? But yes, he’s sort of failed at step 1 here and blown his cover lol

Louise5754 · 14/11/2021 10:06

On Mumsnet as soon as you mention your husbands may have a similar job you are told he's got a second family. He's a fantasist. Not saying this is the case here but it's really upsetting.

Louise5754 · 14/11/2021 10:11

@TheMilkyWeigh

Some years ago I applied to MI5. Not quite the same as MI6 but similar. It was a very long process of assessments, interviews, etc. I got through to almost the final round of the selection process and that was about 6 months after I first applied. I know I applied just after Christmas one year - determined to make a fresh start for the new year and all that - and I remember the final assessment in London being a very hot summer’s day. So it must have been a good 6 months.

Throughout the entire process we were sworn to secrecy. Not even my parents knew I had applied. When we went to the assessments they were held in Regus-style temporary offices with a fake company name on the door - something like KJR Associates or something so that other users of they building had no clue. I have a masters degree and I found the assessments challenging. I actually enjoyed being challenged and that was part of my reason behind wanting to switch careers.

His stay here is nonsense.

Let's hope they no longer use that company name.
notimagain · 14/11/2021 10:13

Regular Forces, Initial officer training..UK, last time I looked, was Dartmouth for the RN, Sandhurst for the Army and Cranwell for the RAF, no other options at a local level.

AFAIK that training wouldn’t be shortened for your standard recruits, though medics and similar did at one time but get short courses, at least at Cranwell.

“Walter Mitty” hunting clubs and some of the gentle souls Grin on Aarse forum can be very good at providing evidence to out the sorts that pitch up to give presentations, or at Remembrance Parades wearing uniform/medals/berets they are not entitled to, but they’re going to struggle to conclusively “out” individuals claim their past is really really secret…..

user14943608381 · 14/11/2021 10:34

@Mwoo99

As previous poster alludes to Bond/navy connection - he’s probably been to see the new film and got this idea for developing his navy story. ? Unfortunately, lying isn’t in itself a crime I don’t think? But yes, he’s sort of failed at step 1 here and blown his cover lol
This all started before the new bond came out but it could definitely be bond inspired, he used to in his teens and up to his early/ mid 20s, when I really limited my contact with him, he used to become obsessed with TV characters for instance House, and copy them entirely down to how they talk, their jokes, their hobbies ( not the opiates in the case of house) but he used to parrot medical knowledge he’d heard on the show to the extent family would ask him medical advice because he seemed to knowledgeable- he did even claim he was going to medical school but that was found out pretty quickly.

Now it’s just more insidious because he’s in his 30s and has more ‘tools’ at his disposal to make the plots more convincing.

Tomorrow I’m going to contact all relevant police authorities and let them know this is an issue and follow it up in writing. I can’t believe I’m related to this clown

OP posts:
radiohelen · 14/11/2021 11:56

Document everything. You need to try to protect your family which is stressful for you but facts help. Warn them and be completely methodical and impassive about it. No-one wants to hear a relative is a scumbag. Don't give them a chance to turn it back on you.
You know it's all BS. There are lots if layers of vetting and your family would know about it.

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