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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Joining mi6- this is crazy right?

238 replies

user14943608381 · 12/11/2021 16:47

So posting for traffic.

Pre warned this is crazy but I promise it’s true.

I’d posted under another nickname of brother who has a history of lying and I’m not talking little white lies I’m talking pathological as well as really frankly dangerous behaviour. Stole pension money from elderly grandmother (was her x mas money and he cut it out of her suitcase), stole 10k worth of jewellery, pushed father undergoing chemo over, held knife to mothers throat, not mentioning the amount of times he hit me 6 ways to Sunday. He was never held accountable for anything which is why I think we have this issue today.

But the previous post was an elaborate tale of him joining the navy. He told this to my very sick (and now passed away father), he bought a few Royal Navy T-shirt’s from the highstreet (pretending they were part of his training uniform), army style boots and epaulettes from god knows where to illustrate the scam. No military in the family so all a bit ignorant on this. DF unbeknownst to everyone was suffering and easily confused, he totally fell for it. Brother, mid 30s , was at the time working as a waiter (earning close to min wage, no shaming here just for income purposes) made several elaborate purchases in a year that as a minimum would have cost 50k. Father was wealthy, it is my strong suspicion that the navy was used to gain money from a v sick and vulnerable person. Reason for believing it’s a scam there was no commendation ceremony, he alleged you get epaulettes as a gesture of good will from the navy and said he was so skilled they fast tracked his application and shortened basic training and was offered an incredibly senior commanding position with 0 experience.

This was 4 months ago, brother is still working as a waiter but now is telling other vulnerable relatives (widowed mum and GM) that he’s been enrolled in mi6 as an intelligence operative as they work under authority of the navy (of which is apparently as the rank of lieutenant commander), there are implications he’ll need money to move to london to do this. He’s screenshotted me his application, which just confirms an application submitted, not a post being offered and he said he can’t disclose more for ‘issues of national security’ and that image was from 12 weeks ago, but I looked online and it says it’s a 9 months hiring process, obviously because caliber of the person needs to be seriously vetted.

Can anyone confirm that his story is bollox? He can’t be joining mi6? He also said they have a join whenever start date policy. I’m concerned this is yet another scam and each time he gets away with it and leaves me to pick up the pieces of humiliated and upset relatives who despite past knowledge fall for it every single time.

The steer from family will be to carry on as if it’s true but I’m sure this has to be a crime? And I can’t be complicit in that.

I also have real concerns about how dangerous he could be if successful in application.

OP posts:
Mollymoostoo · 14/11/2021 12:51

@Namechangetimes100

I think he has anti social personality disorder and narcissistic personality disorder and it is genuinely frightening if he got to a position with any sort of power or authority or frankly weapon.

I’m questioning whether I should contact mi6 recruitment and actually warn them but I don’t know if I’d look like a loser jealous relative looking to sabotage

I read a story about the MI6 recruitment process and this woman was followed and spoken to by an agent who knew who she was. They follow you and do so many background checks, there is no way he would be recruited. Family are choosing to support him and you don't have to pick up the pieces, just take a step back and leave him to fall. The whole family are enabling his behaviour and there seems to be a lot of codependency issues. He sounds as if he has some sort of personality disorder, maybe getting the MH team involved would be a better option than contacting MI6.....
riceuten · 14/11/2021 14:10

SIS and MI5 recruitment is nothing like this. It is multifaceted and multistaged and if he is telling you about it, he is breaking the agreement you sign when you first embark on it.

He's a Walter Mitty character and is not to be believed.

WhiteVanWoman91 · 14/11/2021 20:55

It's like all the psychics who claim they were Henry VIII in a past life. It's never Fred the Binman.

Justilou1 · 15/11/2021 10:34

Yep… everyone was Cleopatra in the 80’s…

Notmrsfitz · 01/12/2021 18:48

I think this beyond ripping off elderly relatives and bordering on bonkers- he definitely needs help and you definitely need to protect the vulnerable in your family.

user14943608381 · 01/12/2021 20:32

I’m not sure if he needs help in the psychiatric sense probably does in some way, but he’s far to narcissistic to see that he could ever be a problem. My mother has enabled this too.

An additional turn of events in this ridiculous saga is that this navy/mi6 storyline was also used to have a string of affairs on his former partner. She found out and was astounded that he’d used this lie to tell my dying f and also her to cover up his affairs. M is still making excuses for him.

OP posts:
TheSilveryPussycat · 01/12/2021 22:58

If your parents or GM are vulnerable, then this sounds like a safeguarding issue, which can be drawn to the attention of Social Services Safeguarding Team.

user14943608381 · 02/12/2021 07:42

GM is taken care of now uncle has been made aware of the situation.

M is at this point complicit so I’ve just had to wash my hands with it, because it’s just excuse after excuse made for his behaviour x

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Pipsquiggle · 02/12/2021 08:44

@Namechangetimes100

GM is taken care of now uncle has been made aware of the situation.

M is at this point complicit so I’ve just had to wash my hands with it, because it’s just excuse after excuse made for his behaviour x

So have you told your mum everything? If so, you can't do anything more.
Inthewainscoting · 02/12/2021 09:40

He’ll be joint beneficiary of M’s estate with me, but that’s a problem for another day.

Hopefully he's not joint executor.

That would be a terrible burden on him on top of his important secret work...(*)

  • Sarcasm, I have known a few GCHQ workers and they don't bring up work in conversation. Can't imagine other branches would be less discreet.
user14943608381 · 02/12/2021 14:51

Yup I’ve told her everything and she thinks we should go along with it and be proud of what he’s trying to accomplish…. Eye roll…

Unfortunately he’s both joint beneficiary and joint executor I’m… how he’ll find the time, God only knows lol. Xx

OP posts:
TheSilveryPussycat · 02/12/2021 20:30

she thinks we should go along with it

Do you mean she knows it's a con - from this phrase it sounds like it to me, but you may not have intended that meaning?

user14943608381 · 02/12/2021 21:40

@TheSilveryPussycat

she thinks we should go along with it

Do you mean she knows it's a con - from this phrase it sounds like it to me, but you may not have intended that meaning?

Well she knows the navy isn’t true but she doesn’t acknowledge it as a con per se. She thinks he feels he ‘has’ to say these things because he’s been made to feel insecure by me, DH and his now ex fiancé on account of our careers. We’ve done ok for ourselves but they are pretty average jobs and have never been rubbed in his face.

She thinks he was ‘auditioning’ for the navy (as she called it) but can’t deny that he’s never served a day in his life. She also thinks it was made up fro my late fathers benefit. She’s in crazy denial. At this moment in time, even though it’s beyond illogical she ‘believes’ he’s joining mi6… he’s obviously not going to and then she’ll end up making an excuse for him.

Oh and also the girl he was cheating with lives in london so mi6 starting new life in london is clearly moving to be with her . It’s pathetic. His wedding was in 6 months, 70% paid for, got a house to sell now too …

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