Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

‘Busy’ people. Do you do this? Can you tell me why?

630 replies

GaiusHelenMohiam · 10/11/2021 11:10

For context I work 50-60hrs in a demanding management job, I’m studying in my spare (ha!) time, I have three kids, two dogs and a large house and garden with all the associated cleaning and maintenance. I do also have a useful DH, or I’d collapse. He does half school runs, all cooking and the majority of daily housework as he WfH. We are genuinely busy but I don’t think I’ve ever talked about it in RL in those terms, it’s just our lives.

I have a relative who likes to CONSTANTLY tell me how busy she is. I mean daily texts. She lists all the things she has to do or has done that day.

She is a SAHM to a 15yo. Her list of things are entirely housework and shopping related. Her house is half the size of mine (so half the time to clean?) but she seems to clean it all day every day. No school runs, no timetable to stick to. Her DH is similarly ‘busy’, and moans about it to my DH, despite WFH and doing zero, and I mean zero housework, and a nice relaxing hobby three times a week.

As a couple they are forever telling us how busy and stressful their lives are, with no self awareness of who they are talking to. It’s quite pointed and clearly deliberate.

I’m posting this off the back of her daily text which has outlined her terribly busy day ahead. Ironing, cleaning the bathroom, Sainsburys shop, lunch with a friend, super busy day, she’s tired at the thought of it.

Shall I play the game and text back? I’ve been up since 6am, walked both dogs, put a wash on, had a shower, did the school run, ran the hoover round, had a coffee, attended an online seminar for an hour. I’m off to actual work in a bit until midnight…

I know from experience though that if I text that she’ll just ignore it until tomorrow’s saga, or try and one up it. I let her know recently that my beloved Aunt had a stroke and was in hospital and she replied telling me about her mums sciatica.

I’m just ranting really but AIBU to think she’s not fucking busy, she’s just insecure (? Maybe?) or competitive somehow?

OP posts:
sunglassesonthetable · 14/11/2021 18:10

So what? So you're missing the point.

So don't moan and text about it continually. OP is not doing that. Friend is.

It would be infuriating.

Nayday · 14/11/2021 18:29

This is an ideal candidate to apply grey rock-ing to. And this is the 👍 reaction was made for. So:

Friend: here's my list for today, blah blah
You: 👍

Friend: Enjoy your lazy day
You: 👍

Friend: Can't believe my aunt's sciatica
You: Sorry to hear that

Etc etc.

It will get very boring for her and she'll stop doing it. She's doing it because you're both continuing the engagement and interaction.

One of you has to stop, and it's likely to need to be you.

ufucoffee · 14/11/2021 18:57

@Nayday

This is an ideal candidate to apply grey rock-ing to. And this is the 👍 reaction was made for. So:

Friend: here's my list for today, blah blah
You: 👍

Friend: Enjoy your lazy day
You: 👍

Friend: Can't believe my aunt's sciatica
You: Sorry to hear that

Etc etc.

It will get very boring for her and she'll stop doing it. She's doing it because you're both continuing the engagement and interaction.

One of you has to stop, and it's likely to need to be you.

I'm a big fan of the thumbs up to cut a text conversation dead. Didn't know it had a name!
OverByYer · 14/11/2021 19:02

Why does she text so much? How weird.

Nayday · 14/11/2021 19:13

@ufucoffee grey rock-ing is a definite thing (where you essentially want to disengage from someone without drama) and think 👍 is an ideal emoji for it. Agree it's a perfect reaction to end a conversation!

New posts on this thread. Refresh page