Rich mums taking all the second hand stuff first

[Housepartyatjustinshouse]

In a local mums group with lots of lovely mums.
We often post if we have toys/clothes to give free, that the children have grown out of.
Just recently I’m noticing more and more that when toys/clothes are posted, the same few mums get it there first.
They are mums that don’t work (don’t need to) and live in million pound houses and clearly don’t need to worry.
It just seems a little unfair that I and the more *Average mums seem to lose out, when they could buy a lot easier than we could?
I’m in a two bed flat and missed out (again) in a huge selection of toys my Ds would go crazy for. I can’t afford to buy them new and it would’ve really helped at Christmas.
Is this fair? 🤷🏻‍♀️

We have fb websites where you put your stuff on that you wanna give away, but then you leave the add up for 24hrs and then pick a name at random. So that no working mums have to miss out and its not a first come first serve kinda thing. Works a treat

ichundich “you sound quite bitter with your othering”. And you sound like one of the people we are talking about lolz

@Cassimin

ichundich Yes they were taking up the places of the poorer and more needy parents, that’s why the rules have been changed. It is a volunteer led hall, all cleaning, decorating, maintenance, gardening done by volunteers. Funnily enough none of the yummy mummies ever volunteer for anything. Not a sweeping generalisation, completely true I’m afraid.

By your logic:

"Poor" people = good, tidy, hard-working
"Rich" people = evil, filthy, entitled

It has been stated several times further up why children's centres closed.
www.mirror.co.uk/news/politics/tories-close-500-sure-start-16251302
Funnily enough the Tories wouldn't be in power if it wasn't for the many less well off voting for them.

@Malibuismysecrethome

ichundich “you sound quite bitter with your othering”. And you sound like one of the people we are talking about lolz

Why, because I don't agree with sweeping statements and black-and-white thinking? How do you know what I do / don't on Facebook selling sites?

Our group rules suggest they pull the name out the hat not first come first served basis.

I usually say I’ve pulled it out a hat and give to those I think need it most

@rjacksmiss

Why not get in there first and say if anyone is getting rid of anything soon could they please keep you in mind as you'd really appreciate it and always miss the posts!

This is a good idea.

I think wealthy people who sell stuff for little more than a shilling are incredibly tight-fisted.

ichundich
I’m not making sweeping statements, just saying what has happened to me and what I have observed.
If you want to divide people into rich and poor I think financially I would be somewhere in the middle. I don’t have to work, I’ve in a large house in a nice area, I’m very lucky.
So I certainly do not use the logic you believe I do.Some of my friends and neighbours are very rich.

I just think people should be a little more aware of others, be a little less selfish and greedy and not expect others to tidy up after them.

Big houses often have huge mortgages and out goings ,doesn't always mean you are rich ,if they really are so rich these Mums doubt they would bother with second hand .
Maybe an idea to get up 15 mins early and check listings then
good luck

If I were you I’d maybe suggest that when toys, clothes etc go up from now on would it be possible for people to be considered for the items, it’ll give give everyone whether they work or not the chance to comment, that way the poster at the end of the day can choose who they want to give them to

If you don’t ask you don’t get. Be upfront and message saying you strapped for cash and would appreciate a heads up on any toys being offered. And that you miss the posts becouse you are at work.

@GarlandsinGreece

I think wealthy people who sell stuff for little more than a shilling are incredibly tight-fisted.

So im tight fisted for selling 30 books for £30, instead of donating them?

It happens here too but I don’t see a way around it. Frankly, if the person giving away the item cared ab

I'm actually wanting to post some stuff on my local group too but so far haven't for this very reason.

I want it to go to someone who wouldn't so easily afford to go out and buy these things. I'm thinking of maybe taking them to a local charity that helps families that are struggling least i know it's not gone to someone who just wants a freebie but afford new.

Oops meant to say if the person giving it away cared about it going to someone who can’t usually afford it, then they would take the item to a charity shop. They don’t because this isn’t charity, it’s trying to avoid landfill waste without having to leave the house.

I sell quite a few high value / good quality toy items on local Fb. I do this because I want the item gone asap, try to avoid landfill, and prefer it to be collected. I USED to give them away free, hoping to help someone who needed help, but now I have given up because if I offer it for free I get a dozen ‘yes me I’ll collect today’ followed by a dozen no shows and it takes me a week or so to get rid of the fridge or whatever. So now I just say £50 if high value / £5 if a toy, and this stops weirdos saying that they want it and then expecting me to hold onto it for weeks (or worse demanding I drop it off to them because they have ‘car trouble’ etc. Some have also then hounded me with messages “hi luvly wot else u got hun” (actual message from someone after I drove to her house to deliver a baby item after she was a no show to collect when I waited in for her. Only went round cos I felt sorry for the baby.)

.... how do you know these people are rich?

I probably appear rich on some days as I dress well and speak well... however almost everything I own and wear is second hand and I'm actually on a very tight budget. People on a low income don't always fit a stereotype. If you met me you might easily think I was a rich mum taking the piss.

You can't always tell people's circumstances by looking at them.

@Bumblebee1119

This is why they are rich… honestly next time your shopping in Aldi.. check out the cars x

😂

I'm guessing all their money goes on mortgage and car finance, so need to be savvy if they want clothes/ toys for kids. Strange priority if you ask me but a lot of people think it's all about their image. They're not really rich, they just choose to spend their money differently.
I don't get it and I don't think it's fair and totally agree with sites where the seller chooses the buyer rather than fcfs.

@Housepartyatjustinshouse Sorry if I'm repeating anyone else's suggestion as haven't made it through 23 pages, but could you make a suggestion to the group/group admin that the rules are changed? In one I'm in, they specify about not giving it to the first to comment but giving some time for others to see it who are not constantly online. E.g. suggest they wait 12 hours or whatever seems reasonable, and then pick someone? Generally in that group, because there's no need to pick the first, you end up picking the most polite person (and avoiding anyone you've picked before who didn't show up on time or at all). Obviously, if it's on for ages with just one comment then it's fine to go to them.

Maybe this is why these Mums don’t have to work, because they get all of the free stuff and then SELL it when they no longer need it ! Seriously though it does seem unfair. You can’t stop them doing it though. Why don’t you post requests when you need something rather than wait to see the products posted by others. E.G : has anyone got a dolls pram suitable for a 6 year old that they no longer want?

I meant to put doesn’t seem fair not does seem fair

Yup, I’ve seen this too. It stinks

@anon666 Eating outside in a public place?

How do you think people get and stay rich in the first place?

OMG, not by bagging a free climbing frame on facebook! Some of these posts are too stupid