AIBU to ask why ppl make fatphobic comments?

[Claralaura]

While out for coffee with a good (slim) friend who I love dearly, she made a nasty comment about an overweight couple sitting next to us who were enjoying some cake. Something along the lines of "I'm sorry that makes me sick, they are killing themselves". I pointed put to her that the people she was so disgusted by weren't that much larger than me, so why would she say that? She got a bit flustered and then gave various "but you carry it well" "you're tall" "you're not even that fat" I wasn't even particularly hurt just found it interesting that she would think that would be an OK thing to say especially to someone who is fat.

I am 35 and I am fat, (about 3 stone overweight(, I have 2 kids a lovely husband and a happy life. I enjoy running but also enjoy my food would I like to be slimmer? absolutely! but I am pretty happy the way I am. 10 years ago I was very slim but drank to excess smoked and was very unfit and unhealthy and I am 100% happier now than I was then.
But it got me thinking about similar comments over the years, slimmer friends who put on 3lbs complaining to me about how disgustingly fat they looked.

So I suppose my question is.... if you are one of those people who say these things why do you say them? No judgement just interested to hear the other side of the coin

[quote Claralaura]@wanttomarryamillionaire

"Wow you sound like a delightful person"

I was thinking the same.[/quote]
Oh, but don’t worry, @Fr0thandBubble is a vegan (and typically lets us know it within seconds of making their acquaintance) so they are morally superior on every level.

@Maverickess well you have taught me a lot today and also there are many things I had not considered and that I will be aware of in the future. Things are not always as cut and dried as I think. Thank you for that.

I reported some particularly nasty comments including the transphobic one. If anyone else could report anything that you find potentially triggering.

Wow, so it’s now considered transphobic to say that a man wearing a dress doesn’t magically turn into a woman?

I really couldn’t care less what somebody identifies as or how they want to dress/live their life, but I won’t be told that I have to deny reality and play along. And don’t get me started on ‘cis women’. I bet there would be an outrage if overweight individuals were suddenly renamed ‘orb people’ and were expected to play along without complaint at risk of losing their jobs should they criticise the new terminology chosen for them.

It’s an easy judgement to make. It’s not right, because the assumption is that people are fat because they’re greedy and lazy but it’s easy to think that. I’ve just crossed the line from overweight to obese. So, I’m losing weight now. Because of health reasons. BUT there is not one ounce on my body that I regret. I have loved every single piece of cheese and glass of wine that has led to this. I have been stick thin, lollipop head thin and I was incredibly unhappy. I am incredibly happy now and I wouldn’t trade body for those feelings ever. Also, I ran 12.5 kilometres today, so I may wobble, but I wobble a long way!

@Graphista

I hear your point about hcps not offering solid advice other than ‘eat less move more’. That is a reflection of the absolute mess we are in with regards to what is a healthy diet. We can’t even agree whether a bloody egg is good for you.

It goes back to a point I made earlier in the thread that we are a point where the government has to take action on the food environment. IMO it’s not ok that food manufacturers can make a cereal targeted at kids which is 70%+ sugar yet market it as ‘fortified with vitamins’ with a ‘healthy grain’ logo. It’s literally deception.

The whole food industry is a disaster.

The best advice I can think of for anyone who wants to be healthy is don’t eat anything that is packaged with over 5 ingredients in it and all those ingredients must be things that you recognise and could have in your cupboards and not some long unrecognisable chemical sounding word.

With that rule though comes limiting about 75% of the supermarket offerings. But that is a reflection of how fucked up our ‘food’ is.

The horrendous food environment we live in is also reflected in the feeling that people now have that they can’t eat well if they are time poor and cash poor. I again think food manufacturers advertising plays a role in this…constantly selling us ‘convenience’, telling us that we need them to be able to cope with life.

The most nutritionally dense food you can get is liver. It is £1 to buy. I realise we’ve all been weaned off this as being disgusting but by god if you ate that instead of a ‘convenient’ greggs you would be rocking your nutrition!

I’ve been time and cash poor and am a sp who works full time. I get the temptation to believe that I’m incapable of feeding myself well and need to rely on ‘convenience’ food to survive. I guess I just believe it is a malevolent standpoint by the food manufacturers and big businesses. I can feed myself and my family well on a low budget and with little time. I refuse to believe them!

Yes, the food industry cannot / should not rather, get away with calling a cereal that is 70% sugar "healthy".

The old defenders of sugar would have said you just need to burn it off . But most of us dont have hours of labour after breakfast. So it's poison. It destroys our metabolism and yet somehow the word "healthy" is on the box.

The most nutritionally dense food you can get is liver. It is £1 to buy. I realise we’ve all been weaned off this as being disgusting but by god if you ate that instead of a ‘convenient’ greggs you would be rocking your nutrition!

You can eat too much of it though. Once a week is enough.

@CounsellorTroi

I know what you are referring to but it’s not actually true. That came from a study where people had eaten excessive amounts of polar bear liver (I know!) and polar bears are carnivores and their liver has excess Vit A.

You can’t Od on Vit A from a ruminant like cow or lamb.

The NHS advice not to eat liver when pregnant is wrong. Unless they actually mean polar bear liver!

Well according to this

www.healthline.com/nutrition/8-health-foods-harmful-in-large-amounts#TOC_TITLE_HDR_6

A 100g portion of beef liver contains more than six times the recommended daily intake of Vitamin A…..

‘ The most nutritionally dense food you can get is liver. It is £1 to buy. I realise we’ve all been weaned off this as being disgusting but by god if you ate that instead of a ‘convenient’ greggs you would be rocking your nutrition!’

Eat liver. Seriously?

What’s wrong with liver?

“Eat less, move more” is stupid as a simple weight loss idea (although exercise has many benefits of course)
If I exercise more guess what - I get more hungry

If I exercise more guess what - I get more hungry

well yes, obviously. But that's where the "eat less" bit comes in - you don't just think "hey I'm hungry so I'll eat whatever I like."

When you exercise regularly, your body soon adapts, so you can push yourself harder and not get as hungry with it.

For example, when I first started c25k I was so unused to doing even light exercise that I'd be ravenous after each session. And was very tempted to eat more.

Now I run a lot more, my body has adapted so the tipping point into that post-exercise hunger (aka runger!) is about a 20 mile run. But over that run I'll burn off about 2,000 calories, so even if I scoff a chocolate bar or even two, I'm still well in defecit.

Most days I run 5-10 miles without any "extra" food, which is how I'm thin now, whereas I was overweight when I did no exercise at all.

The other benefit of exercise of course is that when you're exercising a lot, you don't want to eat crap food the night before as you know it'll make you feel rubbish. So I've gone from having takeaways at least once a week when I was overweight, to never having them now, as I know a big fatty meal could ruin my training.

Exercise isn't just about the calories you burn in each session, it's about the lifestyle shift it brings over time.

@fellrunner85 your metabolism adapts when you do a lot of exercise. So you aren't burning as many calories are you think you are. The aim of the body is homeostasis so if you are burning more calories through sport, your metabolism slows down in other areas, such as heart rate to compensate. Of course exercise is a very good thing to do, but you can't outrun a bad diet.

@CounsellorTroi

Liver has got a bad rep because there is little understanding of the different types of vitamin A

This explains it well tasty-yummies.com/the-benefits-of-eating-liver/

The NHS guidance is really really not good on so many aspects of healthy nutrition. This is just one of the many.

your metabolism adapts when you do a lot of exercise. So you aren't burning as many calories are you think you are

I think the point is that it hardly matters if you're burning 1,000; 1,500; 2,000 or more calories on a long run when you're not going to be eating that back.

And that old adage of "you can't outrun a bad diet" is always trotted out on these threads. But it's just a daft cliche - what's a "bad" diet?! And how much are you running?

I mean, it'd take you a daily marathon to outrun a daily Dominos, which few people have the time or inclination to do. But any distance runner can outrun the odd cake.

I'm not being deliberately goady but can someone tell me about this new binge eating disorder. Surely a few biscuits and you are sick?

Look it up on the NHS website.

I have looked it up and it describes a mental illness in line with an addiction disorder. So it's simply a sugar addiction.

@Fellrunner85 I run 60 miles a week, plus cycling and walking and can still put on weight if I'm not careful. The book Burn by Herman Pontzer is very interesting regarding metabolism and physical activity.

@Noavocado

It's not "new" and it's an eating disorder.

Taken from the NHS website

"Symptoms of binge eating disorder
The main symptom of binge eating disorder is eating a lot of food in a short time and not being able to stop when full.

Warning signs of binge eating disorder in someone else
Someone you care about may have an eating disorder if they:

eat a lot of food, very quickly
try to hide how much they're eating
store up supplies of food
put on weight (but this does not happen to everyone with binge eating disorder)
Getting help for binge eating disorder
If you think you may have binge eating disorder, see a GP as soon as you can.

They'll ask you about your eating habits and how you're feeling, and check your weight and overall health.

The GP should refer you to an eating disorder specialist or team of specialists if they think you have binge eating disorder or another eating disorder.

It can be hard to admit you need help with an eating disorder, so bringing a friend or loved one with you to your appointment may help."

Sometimes after binges I ended up being physically sick but mostly I would just feel really really ill. It was entirely out of control and was troubling how much I could actually eat while binging. I put on a massive amount of weight in a very short space of time. After a binge I'd hate myself and feel shame and guilt which spiralled into further binges. It's not just eating a bit too much every now and then and feeling overfull for me this was eating HUGE amounts in seconds, it was in secret and there was no enjoyment. It wouldn't even necessarily be "treat" foods.... it could be a full sliced pan of bread.

@Claralaura Binges are a form of self harm.
Your description is of serious self harm.
Can you explore what triggers it for yourself with counselling.
Eating loads is fine if you enjoy it, your reason isn't fun or doesn't bring enjoyment.

@Noavocado

I'm not being deliberately goady but can someone tell me about this new binge eating disorder. Surely a few biscuits and you are sick?

You think binge eating is new

@EmeraldShamrock I got help in an eating disorder clinic a a few years ago and after a few relapses i have not binged in 2 years so I'm in recovery. Key to my recovery was to stop dieting. For me restricting foods to lose weight inevitably ended in more binges. The eating disorder counselor I saw refused to treat me until I agreed to stop dieting. So i am still about 3 stone overweight but have not gained any weight in those 2 years, for me being fat is the lesser of 2 evils.