Bit of a complicated situation but I wanted views on this. My parents bought their house together, and when my mum died she had a secret life insurance policy my dad never knew about that paid off the mortgage in full.
My dad later got married to what can only be described as a psychopath. He told everyone he had a will in place to ensure my siblings and I (who were still children) would get the family home if anything happened to him.
The marriage didn't last and he again remarried a foreign bride. At the time I was a student and I told my dad of my concerns - if anything were to happen to him it would have impacted the feasibility of my studies but he assured me that my siblings and I would be taken care of. The subject didn't crop up again until late last year when he was terminally ill. In the intervening years he kept telling all his family and friends how wealthy his wife was, and this is something I believed as I was aware she has at least 2 houses of her own.
Last year however my dad announced that he had no will and everything would go to his wife. My siblings and I were shocked. Firstly he had lied when we were younger and if something had happened to him it would have left the family home to his psychopathic wife, and she would just have abandoned us. It would have made life very difficult for us.
Secondly he lied to my granny who questioned him about a will, and if she had know this I am not so certain she would have left him half her estate.
We are now in a position where the wife is getting everything, the house my mum helped pay for and my granny's estate. I don't want to sound entitled as I don't need the money, and would be just as happy seeing it go to a charity that helped my parents. My sister however is struggling to pay for childcare and she is very resentful of my dad now. I do however resent every time I was out with my dad and I insisted on paying for meals and drinks, that I was basically writing a cheque to the wife. I didn't realise how much he had in his bank account until before he died and I would absolutely not have paid for as much as I did if I had know this situation. Over the years I also helped him by paying for half of any repairs he had on the house and I feel as though he isn't the person I thought I knew.
To complicate matters further he told me he wanted his ashes buried with my mum's. However this is something the wife has developed amnesia over and she is in possession of both sets of ashes.
Had anyone else been through a situation like this or have any views on it? I feel it's something I can't get out my head and can't believe my dad left such a mess - as children we seemed to understand the importance of a will. I do understand she was his wife but the marriage seemed so toxic and we were definitely lied to about her financial situation - not that is was something we ever asked!!