Dad gave my mum's house away

[user1493035447]

Bit of a complicated situation but I wanted views on this. My parents bought their house together, and when my mum died she had a secret life insurance policy my dad never knew about that paid off the mortgage in full.

My dad later got married to what can only be described as a psychopath. He told everyone he had a will in place to ensure my siblings and I (who were still children) would get the family home if anything happened to him.

The marriage didn't last and he again remarried a foreign bride. At the time I was a student and I told my dad of my concerns - if anything were to happen to him it would have impacted the feasibility of my studies but he assured me that my siblings and I would be taken care of. The subject didn't crop up again until late last year when he was terminally ill. In the intervening years he kept telling all his family and friends how wealthy his wife was, and this is something I believed as I was aware she has at least 2 houses of her own.

Last year however my dad announced that he had no will and everything would go to his wife. My siblings and I were shocked. Firstly he had lied when we were younger and if something had happened to him it would have left the family home to his psychopathic wife, and she would just have abandoned us. It would have made life very difficult for us.

Secondly he lied to my granny who questioned him about a will, and if she had know this I am not so certain she would have left him half her estate.

We are now in a position where the wife is getting everything, the house my mum helped pay for and my granny's estate. I don't want to sound entitled as I don't need the money, and would be just as happy seeing it go to a charity that helped my parents. My sister however is struggling to pay for childcare and she is very resentful of my dad now. I do however resent every time I was out with my dad and I insisted on paying for meals and drinks, that I was basically writing a cheque to the wife. I didn't realise how much he had in his bank account until before he died and I would absolutely not have paid for as much as I did if I had know this situation. Over the years I also helped him by paying for half of any repairs he had on the house and I feel as though he isn't the person I thought I knew.

To complicate matters further he told me he wanted his ashes buried with my mum's. However this is something the wife has developed amnesia over and she is in possession of both sets of ashes.

Had anyone else been through a situation like this or have any views on it? I feel it's something I can't get out my head and can't believe my dad left such a mess - as children we seemed to understand the importance of a will. I do understand she was his wife but the marriage seemed so toxic and we were definitely lied to about her financial situation - not that is was something we ever asked!!

Thanks @Chippymunks - I'm sure my estranged brother will find a way to exclude me. My SIL now 'cleans' for my Dad, I'm sure she has been throwing my letters away, I've had to resort to signed for delivery.

Our dad died when we were young. My parents were divorced. I was technically an adult but only just. My sister was just starting secondary school. My sister and I split our time between both houses.
He left his house to his girlfriend and his sister. They shared all his possessions too. My sister was allowed in to her own home for 20 minutes to grab her own stuff. I had been a bit mouthy about how shitty the whole situation was so I wasn't allowed in at all. I lost all my possessions. My sister did her best to gather things up. We asked if we could have one of his favourite jumpers and some photos. Not any of the valuable antiques or record collection. Just sentimental stuff. This request was turned down. We now have very little to remember our dad by except a lot of hurt in our memories.
There wasn't even provision made to help provide for my sister growing up. Mum was also terminally ill and things became very tight financially. It was an extra burden that could have been rectified by him but he chose to treat us like we didn't matter.
His girlfriend also decided he should be buried near her home as she would tend to his grave. He had always planned to be with his parents and extended family in the village we were from.
I did visit his grave and clearly his girlfriend has long since stopped visiting. My grandparents and other relatives graves are all beautifully kept in the village. It is just sad that he chose this over his children. We are the ones who miss him and think of him. He clearly didn't think of us.
Things were so different when mum died. We know she loved us. I question dad's feelings altogether.

What is intestacy?
When a person dies without leaving a will, they are described as having died intestate, which means that their estate will be distributed according to the rules of intestacy.

What are the rules of intestacy?
In England and Wales, there is a statutory set of rules, that were updated in October 2014 and that are enforced if you die intestate. (The rules are different in Scotland). Your estate would be divided according to this fixed set of rules, irrespective of what your intentions actually were, and that means your estate might not be divided in the way you expect – or want!

Who would receive an inheritance under the rules of intestacy?
The rules will enforce the division of your estate in a fixed order as below:

Married couples and civil partners. If you die intestate, your spouse or civil partner will only receive a certain amount of your estate (currently the first £270,000, plus half of everything above that amount). They may also inherit if you have informally separated, but not if you have divorced or legally ended your civil partnership.
If you’re married or in a civil partnership and you die intestate, your spouse or civil partner will not automatically receive all of your estate. They will only receive your personal possessions, along with:

all of the rest of your estate if you have no children, grandchildren or great grandchildren.
the first £270,000 of your estate, if you have children, grandchildren or great grandchildren, plus half of the rest of the estate. The other half of the rest of the estate will go to your children.
Other considerations

If you have joint bank accounts, the account passes automatically by survivorship to the other joint account holder.
If you own land or property with another person (you’re the co-owner), the way it is dealt with for inheritance depends on how you own it:
If you own the land or property as beneficial joint tenants when you die, your co-owner will automatically inherit your share.
If you own the property as tenants in common, your co-owner will not automatically inherit your share of the property but it will be dealt with by your will or by the rules of intestacy if you don’t have a will.
The property and money that your partner has automatically inherited according to the joint ownership rules will not be part of the estate that is being shared according to the

Children. If you die intestate and are survived by children, birth or adopted, the rules of intestacy will divide the estate in one of two ways:
If you have a surviving spouse or civil partner, part of it will pass to them (the first £270k plus personal possessions) and the rest will be distributed amongst your children. If your estate is worth less than £270,000 your spouse or civil partner will inherit the whole of your estate and your children will receive nothing.
If you have no surviving spouse or civil partner your child or children will receive the whole of your estate.
In both of the above cases the part of the estate apportioned to your children will be shared equally amongst them.

Do remember that if you are separated but are still married or in a civil partnership, your spouse or civil partner may inherit, even though you no longer live together. This means that your children may not inherit any of your estate if you die intestate.

Children from another relationship and adopted children

When an estate is being divided under the rules of intestacy, all of your children are treated equally. Children from all relationships and legally adopted children will receive equal shares of the estate.

So so sorry you are in this awful postion.

DH family working class, not rich at all. MIL always said husband would be 'alright' We knew her idea of alright would only be a £1000 or so however he was told my FIL more like £10,000. Somehow his sister managed to get power of attorney, suspect one of her daughter who works for HMRC told her about it, (even though DH is a professional & she is not well educated at all, she got one over him here by being unscrupulous). She must have taken the will, there was one in the house, and cleaned out all the bank accounts as they were empty, in fact she asked for money towards last funeral. Plus she must have been taking MIL state pension for about 7 years. There was NOTHING . She gave a cock & bull story of the carers taking it all. On top of that she only went and won £30
grand on the postcode lottery about a month after. We have never had much to do with her or her family as we have nothing in common, I hope she rots in her old age, she is late 70s now. Bitch. Thank god he managed to get the massive record collection & musical instruments an interest he shared with his father. She had booked a dealer to a come and get them. Some of the records are worth over a £100, £500 or so.

It became your father's house after your mother died unless she left her share to her children. And as the rest was your father's, it was up to him what he did with it. Children may have a legal rights claim. As for you supporting your dad and paying for things, that was your choice and only greedy people base this on what they might get when their dad dies.
I regularly treat my dad, not because I want him to favour me, but because he was good to me when I had very little and I want to give something back.