Childcare issues at xmas

[Cherrytree1621]

Dh has had to take a new job due to personal issues meaning he will no longer be off 23rd and Xmas eve to look after our 5 year old and 10 month old. I've asked my work to have it off, they've said there's too many off already. So any advice on what to do?

@Nonnymum

I agree with JetRocket. You can't just leave your kids with someone you and they don't know. If you have no family or friends that can help your husband should tell his employers that he must take those days off as they were prearranged before he accepted the job.

If they're a qualified professional she absolutely can. It might not be what you personally would do, but there's nothing inherently wrong with it.

I am pretty sure if Dh didn't say those days were sacrosanct - the ship has sailed - need to spend 6 weeks organising 2 days childcare. I am sure possible.

As I said leave the arguing about his job until you have fixed the main problem - then you can work out how things are going to work in the longer term.

You say it is only in the last few weeks that you have taken a step back from your mum
Was it a serious break down or something that could be walked back? If the latter and you would be making up at some point anyway, then maybe you could reconcile now.

@helpthewhos

So you are paying out two lots of childcare - one a nursery place and one at after school club to work for minimum wage at a nursery? Presumably even with UC paying a % you must be taking home hardly anything. Have you worked out if its definitely worth you going back once you factor in petrol and other costs, particularly if childcare is going to be this much of a headache and cause you this level of worry?

Agreed!

I'm sure any child wouldn't be keen on a stranger looking after them.

Jesus! Pay. A. Nanny. Get a nanny from a friend who isn't working Xmas eve. Or one from childcare.co.uk. Pay her for 2 extra days to come over in the SIX WEEKS you have before Christmas. Let her get to know your children. Or don't- because they will in fact be totally fine.

Your emergency was your mum. Honestly it drives me mad these people who have so much help and don't realise it! Every second of childcare I've ever had I have had to pay for. It doesn't make you special that you have a work clash. So many days I've gone in to work hoping my kids would be ok because the situation wasn't ideal. I never would expect work to pick up that slack when there are perfectly acceptable solutions available to you.

Honestly you sound incredibly awkward.. I understand your annoyed with your dh but you're clearly trying to prove a point here by being so awkward .
Bring your kids to work for two days ( I know it's not ideal for you but swallow your pride 2 days won't kill you) or Ask your mom,

@helpthewhos

So you are paying out two lots of childcare - one a nursery place and one at after school club to work for minimum wage at a nursery? Presumably even with UC paying a % you must be taking home hardly anything. Have you worked out if its definitely worth you going back once you factor in petrol and other costs, particularly if childcare is going to be this much of a headache and cause you this level of worry?

Maybe she doesn't want to be a SAHM. Wants financial independence and to continue her career and professional development!

Doesn't sound like it though, sounds like she isn't keen on her job or boss etc and is only working because she thinks she has to money wise.

JUST ask one of the other staff at work if they could babysit!

@TotallySuper

Doesn't sound like it though, sounds like she isn't keen on her job or boss etc and is only working because she thinks she has to money wise.

I've fell out of love for my job so yes I would rather be a sahm but we can't afford to, so unfortunately needs must. I go back from mat leave in December and dreading it. Dh talking to new boss today apparently.

Maybe train as a cm.

What do you take home after paying fir childcare at nursery and after school club

Can’t be worth your while

Or look at working evenings /night shift in supermarket

I’d arrange a play date for 5 yr old and reciprocate or ask work if you can take them both as a one off. It’s likely they’ll be under capacity as some parents will keep them off if they are off.
Or husband explain has pre booked holiday for those dates (usually done when offered job but worth a try)
Things can’t be perfect sometimes you and children have to suck it up.
Is it worth seeing gp re anxiety?
It does smack of I want to be a sahm so I’ll make out working is impossible.
Have you considered another job? Eg nanny where you can bring your child.

Given that you've said no to all other suggestions I'm going to suggest Mrs Doubtfire

Mrms43s.
She is very lucky to have childcare up till Christmas eve and after. My child minder stopped on Christmas eve and then had the 2 weeks off. She had her own kids.
However this then left, myself and my partner, both work in retail, so we don't get weeks off, having to juggle getting our son to parents to look after him, I say juggle, as we don't have a car, so use public transport, which doesn't run that well over the festive period. Luckily I had my son at 27, if I had him later then my parents would have been getting on, so less like to be able to have him, I am very surprised that more people don't struggle over the festive period.

@LampHat"

So really you’ve started this thread because you’re pissed off with your DH, and the only solution in your mind is that he has them.

Mary bloody Poppins could join the thread and offer her services for the day and you’d still find a reason that wasn’t good enough. Just get offline and argue it out with your DH. MN clearly has nothing to offer you."

Nail on the head. OP doesn't seem to want a solution

[quote Nearly47]@LampHat"

So really you’ve started this thread because you’re pissed off with your DH, and the only solution in your mind is that he has them.

Mary bloody Poppins could join the thread and offer her services for the day and you’d still find a reason that wasn’t good enough. Just get offline and argue it out with your DH. MN clearly has nothing to offer you."

Nail on the head. OP doesn't seem to want a solution[/quote]
Can't have Mary Poppins, children not keen on umbrellas.

Is this one of those problems where you don't want solutions or advice but just want to rant?

Well..... Looks like you'll just have to leave them home alone for a couple of days 🤷‍♀️

In all seriousness though, you've had some brilliant advice on here and between you and your husband you're going to have to sort something out, you're both at work and you have no childcare. Have you raised the subject of your husbands new job with him? What is he doing to counteract all of the extra effort on your part?

Lottery ticket? Won't need to work. Can make dh work Christmas before telling him too.

Granny and grandad?

He should ask his new employer to honour existing holiday commitments

So many cfers on here. Asking friends or family just is NEVER ok!

Have you worked out if its definitely worth you going back once you factor in petrol and other costs, particularly if childcare is going to be this much of a headache and cause you this level of worry?

Believe it or not, some people prefer to keep working even though existing solely on benefits leaves them in the same financial situation.

So many cfers on here. Asking friends or family just is NEVER ok!

Asking friends or family to cover a one off childcare issue is absolutely fine. Expecting them to cover it all the time is not. My mum lives 150 miles away but we’ve called on her maybe three times in 12 years to ask if she can help us out of a childcare hole. That’s hardly CF territory.

Your husband has started a new job he can’t take time off, You have the ideal job to take the children with you. If not contact someone like sitters which have all been vetted out and checked up on.