Would you let a 12 year old have their nose pierced?

[SpongebobNoPants]

Just that really.
We’re being harassed and being subjected to awful tantrums and rudeness because DP has said no, it’s not happening.

[quote SpongebobNoPants]@BonesInTheOcean I’m not getting involved, I’m asking here because I don’t want to express my opinion in our home.
I don’t think DP is being unreasonable by saying no, so I just wanted to canvas some objective opinions. Me being a stepmother is a moot point because it’s not a decision for me to make, it’s her dad that has said no. I just happen to agree he’s making the right choice.[/quote]
I see. I would be backing away saying not my circus not my monkeys!

But no, a 12 year old in my house would not be getting a pierced nose

Just Googled and apparently there are no legal age limits. Quite shocked! Reputable piercers definitely have their own limits though.

[quote SpongebobNoPants]@icedcoffees honestly, she’s very very over sexualised for her age. Her clothes are often inappropriate for the weather and her age.
She’s been allowed to wear a full face it make up since aged 9 etc.

She’s still a child but really tries to present herself as older.[/quote]
You’ve allowed this? And you wonder why she’s pushing boundaries that she probably sees as no different to wearing full face make up at nine?
The over sexualised image and behaviour though is a major red flag. Have you had any comments from school about this?

I'd say yes and be pleased she'd not done it herself like I did at that age!

I wouldn't at 12 and I definitely would not reward tantrums by allowing it.

Absolutely no way

No reputable piercer would do it. And that tells you everything you need to know

I have a 12 year old daughter, no chance. And full make up from 9, that’s awful. Thankfully my daughters not interested as she already looks about 14 without makeup and nose piercings.

Sorry, meant to say your DH, her mum and you have allowed this.

@SpongebobNoPants

Her older sister has hers pierced, but she’s nearly 17 and has had it since just after her 16th birthday. Looks fine on her because she’s older and grown up enough to make that decision in DP’s eyes.

Thats fair then. 16th birthday.

I would say no. Maybe at 14/15 I would consider it.
I would say no even harder if my first no was met with tantrums and rudeness. Not about to reward that sort of behaviour.

When my kids were 12, no way. If they were 12 again I wouldn't give a monkeys.

A full face of make-up at 9? Wow.

she’s very very over sexualised for her age.

Someone needs to actually parent this child.

Not a chance. I'd be very worried if you could actually find someone who was willing to piece a 12 year old's nose tbh.

@FangsForTheMemory yes that’s the issue.
Mum said yes, dad found out and has said no he’s not happy.
Mum has admitted she’s not keen either but the kids know if they harass her enough she’ll give in. So DP called her and said he doesn’t want her to take her to have it done. Mum objected at first but then has agreed she is too young and eye can have it done at 16 like her sister did.

Chaos ensued. Doors slammed, shouting, a horrible attitude and cries of “you’re so unfair! Everyone else has it done”… but that isn’t true, none of her friends have anything pierced other than ears.

Mum is now texting angry messages to DP saying although she agrees she doesn’t want drama from her and would have given it. So this is all DP’s fault apparently.

Hell no. 18 is the youngest I would say.

I've told our daughter not before 18.

No - because even nose studs at DC school would be an issue and not allowed - so not worth it.

No

Sorry, meant to say your DH, her mum and you have allowed this

I haven’t allowed anything, I’m not her parent and have no say in the way she is raised.

I have however, had a quiet word in DP’s ear about her clothing being inappropriate if we’re going on a family day out. It’s more a case of “it’s cold, she needs jeans not shorts” though.

Not a chance.

No!!!!

The tantrums and rudeness are more of a problem than nose piercing IMO. If she isn't mature enough to realise that tantrums and rudeness are not the way to get what she wants then she's not mature enough to look after the hygiene of a piercing or to make decisions about altering her body, even in a minor, hopefully reversible way. An infection could lead to scaring if she doesn't look after a piercing.

I'd be pointing that out. Anything legal is up for some degree of negotiation, but that does mean negotiation - as soon as there are tantrums or rudeness its off the table for a year, after which it can be discussed (with the very clearly spelled out understanding that means clean slate for discussion once she's had time to mature a bit, not that she gets what she wants automatically one year after the last tantrum on the subject!).

@BlibBlabBlob

Just Googled and apparently there are no legal age limits. Quite shocked! Reputable piercers definitely have their own limits though.

Parental consent is needed (form you have to sign) and thats pretty much it, £35 is still £35