Would you let a 12 year old have their nose pierced?

[SpongebobNoPants]

Just that really.
We’re being harassed and being subjected to awful tantrums and rudeness because DP has said no, it’s not happening.

If and when she does do it though, a tattoo parlour or piercing studio is the best option with a proper needle and a specialist, not a gun at a shopping centre!

I would say no because of school. Although I actually don't really mind a nose piercing...
So if they asked at start of summer holiday I might allow it .

Not a chance at 12. I wasn’t even allowed my ears pierced until I was 16. The tantrums show she is behaving like a child, because she is!

Her older sister has hers pierced, but she’s nearly 17 and has had it since just after her 16th birthday.
Looks fine on her because she’s older and grown up enough to make that decision in DP’s eyes.

Cripes at 12? No way.

Honestly I dont care if I'm laughed at for my choice of words but a 12 year old with a pierced nose would look plain old tarty to me.

Absolutely not.

[quote SpongebobNoPants]@MrzClaus I don’t think her dad would even like her wearing a fake one to be honest. It’s the “image” he really isn’t keen on (and neither am I).
She is 12 but looks considerably younger… people often think she’s 9/10 years old.

It’s a constant battle because she’s been able to dress and act much older than her years and it’s been something I really struggle with but don’t bring up. The nose piercing debacle is just the latest battle.[/quote]
Well if you both have a problem with a fake I’d say you’re out of touch and being silly. A fake is easily sorted at the end of the day.

A real one, no I’d rather they waited.

I'd be hesitant of facial piercings to be honest, due to risk of scarring and infection which would be incredibly difficult to get rid of- particularly for Olived skin or ethnic minority people.

No chance until 16 and I’d tell her that if she’s too immature to accept that decision without tantrumming (something toddlers do) then she’s proving that she’s not mature enough to make any decision like this.

To be clear - in my bit of the country "tarty" is used for children with too grown up clothes or styles etc.

I'd want her to wait to the same age as her sister was. Otherwise they get ideas they can get away with whatever the older one did at the same age.

Well then tell her 16 as that's the age her sister had her piercing done. Be firm with that.

No, because I don't know any reputable piercing studios that would pierce anyone of that age anyway, so the only option would be somewhere a bit dodgy or Claire's (if they even do facial piercings...?) and I wouldn't advise anyone to get anything pierced there.

What worries me in this post is the reason why her Dad doesn't want her to have it. The "image", so what if he doesn't like that look? It's not for him. I'm sure your daughter doesn't comment on his outfits everyday, to say what she does and doesn't like about them.
She needs to be able to develop an autonomy, that isn't just a reaction to his. For example, the harder he tries to push her towards a certain "image", the more she will resist it, and soon her whole identity will be based on rebelling against his views, instead of simply developing her own.

I'd let her try the nose stud, if she doesn't feel pressured one way or another, it may stop there. If she has to fight for every little expression of herself, it may well become more extreme.

Thats just my view, based on what I've seen in the past, from children with controlling parents.

It's a no from me too

Yes - hurts no one (except perhaps her nose…) pointless battle because you think she shouldn’t.

Don’t waste her teenage years in pointless battles.

@Rachie1973 no I don’t think we’re out of touch at all. She looks like a very young child and acts like one also, but consistently dresses quite inappropriately for her age which is exacerbated by the fact she looks even younger.

No. The whole point of getting your nose pierced at 12 is to rebel. Not get your parents permission! She should do it. On the sky and spend the next 6 months trying to hide it.

[quote SpongebobNoPants]@MrzClaus I don’t think her dad would even like her wearing a fake one to be honest. It’s the “image” he really isn’t keen on (and neither am I).
She is 12 but looks considerably younger… people often think she’s 9/10 years old.

It’s a constant battle because she’s been able to dress and act much older than her years and it’s been something I really struggle with but don’t bring up. The nose piercing debacle is just the latest battle.[/quote]
So stop acting like her friend and do some actual parenting.

@DeepaBeesKit

Cripes at 12? No way.

Honestly I dont care if I'm laughed at for my choice of words but a 12 year old with a pierced nose would look plain old tarty to me.

Yuck

Rebel at 12? No, rebelling is something teenagers do - if you’ve got a rebellious 12 year old you’ve got a problem on your hands.

No, and I’m usually in favour of letting kids express themselves. I have had my nose pierced for nearly 30 years too.
It won’t be allowed at school and I’d be surprised if anywhere will pierce a 12 year olds nose. She can wait till she’s 16 like her sister.

12!?! Absolutely not!

@Mamamamasaurus I’m not her parent.
This is not my choice to make. Although I have a daughter only 1 year younger and I wouldn’t allow her to pierce her nose next year so I am in agreement with my DP.

Ahhh, if her older sibling has one, I can see the appeal. My younger sister always wanted whatever makeup / outfits / ear piercing I had - she obviously thinks it's the epitome of cool! Hopefully the wow factor will wear of soon, or she can start counting down to 16 and being able to get one 😊