Would you let a 12 year old have their nose pierced?

[SpongebobNoPants]

Just that really.
We’re being harassed and being subjected to awful tantrums and rudeness because DP has said no, it’s not happening.

No way (and I'm someone who used to have theirs done).

@FreshFancyFrogglette I agree about them being free to express themselves through clothes choices etc, but she’s still a young child who needs guidance and won’t always get a carte Blanche “ok, do / wear what you want” from her dad.

There’s been a constant battle with her dressing in clothes much older than what is appropriate for her age, so this isn’t anything new.

Like suggested, if she was 15/16 years old then there would be no issue really. It’s not a parents place to police clothing or style at that age, but I do think at 12 parents can veto certain things based on preference.

Only yesterday I was shopping with my DD (nearly 12) and said no to a dress I thought was too short. I happily bought her a whole load of clothes of her choosing but the dress was unacceptable for an 11 year old in my opinion.

I would say year 10 for a nose piercing and take her somewhere reputable.

Those saying school won’t allow it need to realise that not all schools are the same. Our secondary would be fine with it.

Yeah I’d say no to any facial piercings untill they didn’t need my consent.

I’ve got plenty of tattoos and piercings but I’m an adult and your face is your face. Can’t say I’m too keen on nose rings or studs either anyway

What "image" are you referring to, exactly?

@Scarlettpixie yes year 10… so like 15? Not an issue then. 12 is just so young.

I’ve got a tonne of piercings and at 12 I still say no, because a reputable piercing salon wouldn’t do it, and I wouldn’t go anywhere like Claire’s that uses a gun, especially for a facial piercing.

This place is very highly regarded and says no under 13s, I actually thought itd be 16 but there you go.

www.holier-than-thou.co.uk/services/piercing-faqs/

No!!

I think the fact there are tantrums shows she is not emotionally mature enough to make a decision she will have for the rest of her life. My friend who had one said the hole did not close up when she took it out.

No.
She is far too young.

@icedcoffees honestly, she’s very very over sexualised for her age. Her clothes are often inappropriate for the weather and her age.
She’s been allowed to wear a full face it make up since aged 9 etc.

She’s still a child but really tries to present herself as older.

God no way.

I have a 12 year old too who only looks about 10 and it's a no from me. Dressing much older than her years would also be a no no. I am generally very laid back but the fact that she is tantruming over it just shows how immature she is. My older dd was 16 when she got hers done, i probably would have said yes at 14 or 15 as she is very grown up and sensible for her age, but not at 12.

[quote SpongebobNoPants]@Rachie1973 no I don’t think we’re out of touch at all. She looks like a very young child and acts like one also, but consistently dresses quite inappropriately for her age which is exacerbated by the fact she looks even younger.[/quote]
How is she doing that? She is still a child, and presumably wearing what you buy for her?

Absolutely not. Be a parent.

I have a couple of 13 year olds and it would be hard no from me.

Nope.

[quote SpongebobNoPants]@MrzClaus I don’t think her dad would even like her wearing a fake one to be honest. It’s the “image” he really isn’t keen on (and neither am I).
She is 12 but looks considerably younger… people often think she’s 9/10 years old.

It’s a constant battle because she’s been able to dress and act much older than her years and it’s been something I really struggle with but don’t bring up. The nose piercing debacle is just the latest battle.[/quote]
I assume you are the stepmother? If you don't get involved in what she wears, then surely you don't get involved with her piercings either.

@BonesInTheOcean no she’s wearing what her mum is buying for her. We don’t buy her revealing clothing, she tends to wear joggers / jeans and hoodies when at our house.

Yes but school won't so its a non issue.

Surely it's illegal in the UK anyway? Ear lobes only until age 16, I believe. At least with any reputable piercing studio.

It'd be a no from me. I have my nose pierced. I love it but it takes a really long time to heal and there are often complications. Not something a 12 year old should be taking on. Very welcome problematic for school sports etc as well.

@BonesInTheOcean I’m not getting involved, I’m asking here because I don’t want to express my opinion in our home.
I don’t think DP is being unreasonable by saying no, so I just wanted to canvas some objective opinions. Me being a stepmother is a moot point because it’s not a decision for me to make, it’s her dad that has said no. I just happen to agree he’s making the right choice.

Tantrums? At twelve? I'd hope that by that age she'd know that a tantrum will only guarantee you don't get your way.

Is her mum making it more difficult by agreeing to this?

It would be a no from me, btw. I wasn't allowed to get my EARS pierced until I was 18.

Like I said I do have a DD11 of my own. I wouldn’t allow it next year either.
I think 15/16+ years old would be fine but not thus young