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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbour and neighbour’s friend parking on my driveway without asking

482 replies

changeyourname11111 · 06/11/2021 07:17

About a week ago I looked out of the window one afternoon and noticed that my neighbour’s car was on my drive.

I went round to ask about it and he said that the lady who lives next to him was having people over (weekly occurrence - a bridge party) and that one of her friends had asked to park on his drive so he had parked on mine. He said sorry, he had thought I was out at work Hmm.

The lady who lives next to him is very elderly and I get on with both her and my immediate neighbour so I said ok (not to this being regular though).

However this week, my kids (I am a single parent) were at home and texted me at work to say that there was a random car on our drive (on the same afternoon as the week before I think) and sent me a photo of it.

I assume that this is now the bridge friend parking on my drive, but am annoyed that no one asked for our permission.

The lady in question has her car on the street and a small drive of her own so I assume she must have had two friends over. There is pay and display across the street which is always free but on the other hand maybe the pay by phone is hard to navigate.

I’ve been really busy at work so wasn’t able to go round to either neighbour’s house, but today am
going to speak to both neighbours.

I am torn as to whether I should say just a blanket no to using our (small) drive (we don’t currently have a car), or whether I should say ok as long as they ask first (the lady has my number, my immediate neighbour doesn’t but I will give it to him). I have a feeling that if I say ask first they will not bother and just park there.

Anyway, aibu to think that it is really rude to do this?? Am lying in bed feeling increasingly annoyed about it Grin.

And would you ask them to ask first or just say a blanket no?

OP posts:
dollymixture31 · 16/02/2022 09:54

They can never claim if you gave them permission to use it. They can only claim if they used it without permission and you made no effort to get them off.

Rosscameasdoody · 16/02/2022 09:54

I would just say no. The problem has already started because your neighbours visitors are now parking on your drive without permission. You need to nip it in the bud now. There’s a pay and display so parking should be no problem. Your driveway is your private property and if it were me, I wouldn’t allow people (neighbours or not) to park there just to avoid parking fees - which is essentially what they’re doing. And there’s another issue here - what happens if they cause damage of some kind on your property ? What about your own visitors ? If you want to avoid confrontation I would do as some others have suggested and put large plant pots on your driveway or close the gates if you have them.

Babyvenusplant · 16/02/2022 09:57

Op get a collapsible bollard installed

Can't believe they don't ask you first, so bloody entitled

dollymixture31 · 16/02/2022 09:57

YANBU to be annoyed. If it was me I'd let them and caveat it with only on this day at this time and only if I or my own guests do not need to use it. If they later started to TTP I'd put down plant pots and move one for parking on the day that was agreed.

Arabellla · 16/02/2022 09:58

Just drop notes round again, OP.

They don't respect you, so you owe them no favours.

Xmasfairy86 · 16/02/2022 09:59

Get a friend with a spare car to use your drive

Shade17 · 16/02/2022 10:00

Can you send them a letter stating that next time you will call for their car to be towed and will bill them for the costs? Costs about £100, and you probably wouldn't get it back, but I suspect you'd only need to do it once.

It doesn’t work like that. You can’t have a car randomly towed from private property.

HunterHearstHelmsley · 16/02/2022 10:03

I don't understand the mentality of the parkers (and some posters). It's OP's property. Just like any other part of her home. She may not be using it but that doesn't give others carte blanche to decide they will.

I've got play equipment in my back garden. It's only used when my nieces and nephews visit. I would be thoroughly miffed if I found neighbours using it just because i wasn't.

Rosscameasdoody · 16/02/2022 10:03

@NYnewstart

I think you are the cause of the bad feeling tbh. It wouldn’t have hurt to agree to just that regular parking slot. You could have refused more if they’d pushed it, but at least you’d have been seen to be a bit neighbourly.

They probably don’t care about pissing you off now, but I agree that they shouldn’t have parked there again even if they are not happy with you.

What ?????!!!! Nobody should be pushing anything - have you not understood that this is the OP’s private driveway and that these CF’s are using it as public parking without her permission because they dont want to pay to park - whether they are happy with the OP or not is irrelevant, they have to right to just park there whenever they feel like it.
Babyvenusplant · 16/02/2022 10:04

@NYnewstart

I think you are the cause of the bad feeling tbh. It wouldn’t have hurt to agree to just that regular parking slot. You could have refused more if they’d pushed it, but at least you’d have been seen to be a bit neighbourly.

They probably don’t care about pissing you off now, but I agree that they shouldn’t have parked there again even if they are not happy with you.

The neighbours were not 'neighbourly' by not asking permission in the first place, its really rude! They are the ones to blame not op
anon12345678901 · 16/02/2022 10:07

I have no idea how anyone can say the bad feeling is down to you OP. My only guess is that they are CF's like the one parking in your driveway! It's your driveway, put a bollard up. They'll get the hint then. It's rude as fuck to park somewhere you've A; been asked not to and B; don't even ask before doing so. People need to learn manners.

Blackberrybunnet · 16/02/2022 10:09

On the one hand, it seems unreasonable to say no when you don't use the drive yourself. On the other, it is really rude of them not to ask. However, you have said the lady in question is really elderly - in my experience they do have a tendency to be a bit "compartmentalised" when it comes to their own needs. I'd speak to her about it in a friendly way - "just checking it's your friend's car, what days they are likely to be using the space, etc," and point out that even though it is on your property, you can't be held liable for anything that might happen to it (eg break in, falling branches, whatever). Also, make it very clear it's only for the agreed times in case you need the space yourself for visitors or whatever

JingsMahBucket · 16/02/2022 10:09

I really wish new posters would read the entire fucking thread. Or at least OP’s posts. They’re highlighted in green and everything. This post is originally from November. Of course it’s moved on from basic reactions into a more detailed situation.

Quincythequince · 16/02/2022 10:13

OP, knock on tbs door and say in no uncertain terms that no cars should be parked on your driveway, ever.
You have already told them not to do this, and that by doing so they are now trespassing.

You should also remind them that any damage done to their cars, kids on bikes etc won’t be covered by insurance as it’s on private property and that it if happens again you will phone to report a car dumped and have it moved.

Be clear and be firm.

They have no business parking there. Especially when you have said they can’t, and they are taking liberties.

SpinningTheSeedsOfLove · 16/02/2022 10:13

How dangerous could an elderly lady be?

Try me

Quincythequince · 16/02/2022 10:16

@Shade17

Can you send them a letter stating that next time you will call for their car to be towed and will bill them for the costs? Costs about £100, and you probably wouldn't get it back, but I suspect you'd only need to do it once.

It doesn’t work like that. You can’t have a car randomly towed from private property.

You can indeed report a car as being illegally parked (on private property) and put wheels in motion to have it moved.

Of course you can.

If some randomer just dumped an old car on my driveway and never came back for it, are you saying itjqould have to stay there? It wouldn’t.

OP, get a post and some chains put up so they absolutely can’t park.

Quincythequince · 16/02/2022 10:17

@SpinningTheSeedsOfLove

How dangerous could an elderly lady be?

Try me

Haha! You sound nice 😂

Unless resorting to using a weapon directly, or targeting a person by other means (which I guess any adult could do), the answer is, not very.

MorningStarling · 16/02/2022 10:26

Buy a trolley jack. Every time someone parks their car on your drive, use the jack to move it into the street, preferably in a position where it will be unable to be moved from. It's perfectly legal to move the vehicle but be aware that if you damaged it you would be liable.

Abigail12345654321 · 16/02/2022 10:32

Pop a sign up on your garage door - “private property, clamping in operation - £100 release fee”

Saves you having to buy a bollard. And only invest in a clamp if they ignore the sign. The probably wouldn’t risk it!

tkwal · 16/02/2022 10:36

If you were to agree to her friend parking during that specific time slot , I would see it as a neighbourly small act of kindness.

OldEvilOwl · 16/02/2022 10:41

I agree with your sister - put your bins in the middle of your drive

Juliauns91 · 16/02/2022 10:44

HI OP.
You sound like a very kind and considerate person. They took advantage so you had to ask them not to park on your property.
They sulked. Now one of them has done it again.

I definitely would block the drive with a bollard. They are taking advantage of you and the overfamiliarity is disrespectful. It will spill into other areas. it is not you being territorial (and there's nothing wrong with that even if you were) - it is them - thinking they can co-opt your space.
You have gone out of your way to be nice.

I have had a similar issue but much worse and I asked my husband to sort it which he did. Sometime I think that people (not just men - people in general) take advantage of women who live on their own without a man there. I've seen it a lot.

Quincythequince · 16/02/2022 10:44

To be honest OP, just remind your ndn but one that they are trespassing and that it’s a civil offence to do so.
You can also say to your ndn that could pursue said trespasser, legally, for nuisance and harassing behaviour (which you can although the time and cost wouldn’t really be worth it) and that you will look to do so if it continues.

I don’t imagine anybody would want to contend with that, especially an elderly neighbours friend.

They are taking liberties - and they know it.

Shade17 · 16/02/2022 10:54

You can indeed report a car as being illegally parked (on private property) and put wheels in motion to have it moved.

Of course you can.

If some randomer just dumped an old car on my driveway and never came back for it, are you saying itjqould have to stay there? It wouldn’t.

Yes, of course you can. But I’d imagine the game of bridge will have finished by the time you get a court order allowing you to have it removed. My point was that you can’t just call a towing company and have it towed.

Chronicallymothering · 16/02/2022 10:56

You’ve been more than patient and polite. Time for a reminder and then a bollard. If you have a friend or relative who could come and park in your drive way at the bridge club time for a while then that might break the habit. I don’t understand why the OP has to open up her drive as a car park just because of someone’s age.