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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Feeling guilty for getting my cat neutered

559 replies

Sammy900 · 05/11/2021 22:45

Hey

Just wondering what other peoples views are and if I'm overthinking it or being unreasonable? I just want different opinions, experiences really so I can weigh up both sides....

Today our handsome boy cat went to the vets and was neutered and I've never felt so ethically uneasy and awful about making a decision for a pet. I feel like I've taken away his right to reproduce :(

Everyone keeps telling me it's for the best, he will be less likely to get into fights and be exposed to other illnesses from that, he won't spray around the house. We have two cats a boy and girl and they are brother and sister so it would be a whole load of wrongness later on ....

I just feel so uncomfortable about it, so much that I don't want anymore male pets now that I have to face this decision for. I love my pets and I suppose in some ways, further down the line of the argument it's unfair/restrictive to prevent anything from living a wild and free life.

I guess what I'm seeking is to weigh it all up and get my thoughts in the right frame and hopefully come to the conclusion that it WAS the best decision....any thoughts or experiences of a similar vein ? un-neutered pets that were a nightmare?

What does everyone else think?

OP posts:
Bonbon21 · 05/11/2021 22:49

Thank you for being a responsible cat owner.
I am inundated with cats in my garden... none of whom are mine.
The female cat across the road is permanently pregnant.
I listen to the screeching and wailing almost every night from cats in the neighbourhood.
People who want ONE cat should ensure it stays at ONE cat.

DdraigGoch · 05/11/2021 22:49

Would you prefer him to father umpteen litters of kittens which don't all survive?

pointythings · 05/11/2021 22:50

I think you have done the right thing. Your cat is a domesticated cat. Neutering equips him for a long, happy and healthy life as a domesticated cat. Not neutering him would be the opposite.

We humans have chosen to domesticate animals. That makes us responsible for their welfare in every way. And you have done the responsible thing.

I have aj rescue who was found on the streets of a nearby town, intact and still a very young adult cat. We think he was a lockdown kitten whose owners got rid when they realised a pet needed care and attention and would cost money. He was badly injured from fighting other cats and is still reovering from the trauma. That is what not neutering does to cats.

He is now neutered, chipped, vaccinated and becoming a happy homebody of a cat.

AssassinatedBeauty · 05/11/2021 22:50

Your cat doesn't have a right to reproduce. You have a responsibility to prevent unwanted litters of kittens being born when there are already more than enough cats in the world.

If it helps, cats are not wild animals anymore, they are domesticated and habituated to humans. Nothing about your cat's life is like a wild animal's life.

whenwillthemadnessend · 05/11/2021 22:50

Crikey. He will stink soon so you are definitely should NOT feel guilty!!

tobypercy · 05/11/2021 22:50

Of course it's the right decision.
Leaving your cat un-neutered would potentially lead to lots of unwanted kittens, and there are health benefits to neutering. He won't know any different.

Knownbyanothername · 05/11/2021 22:51

Unneutered cats can pass FIV and Leukaemia to each other through fighting. You have absolutely done the right thing.

AliceAldridge · 05/11/2021 22:52

Yes, you are overthinking it. There are 250,000 urban stray cats in the UK. Well done for being responsible.

Skysblue · 05/11/2021 22:52

It is sad. I chose not to get my boy cat neutered for the first year because it’s so horrible.

I regret it soooo much!! He got Big Bad ManCat hormones and picked many fights and sustained some very nasty injuries. So I took him off to get neutered and remarked to the vet that I was looking forward to the fights stopping. The vet looked horrified and said “But it’s learned behaviour now! His hormones started it but the op won’t stop it now he’s got used to fighting!” She was right.

Let’s just say he has been a very very expensive cat in vet bills over the years. I wish I could turn back the clock and neuter him asap!!!

In the wild, a male cat has a life expectancy of two years, because of fighting injuries infections etc…

CoffeeAndDryShampoo · 05/11/2021 22:53

Neutering is always the best option. It will stop him roaming to find a mate and risking fights, disease and even road traffic accidents along the way. The cat and kitten population is out of control so you have prevented more unwanted cats from being brought into the world. Cats don't reproduce to have a family like humans do, they basically just want to get their leg over!

JesusIsAnyNameFree · 05/11/2021 22:54

We don't need any more homeless cats in this world. You did the only right thing for an outdoor cat.

Cocomarine · 05/11/2021 22:55

Did you also neuter his sister? Interested in the angst about the male cat but not the female.

Aquamarine1029 · 05/11/2021 22:56

I would think you were completely irresponsible if you hadn't gotten him neutered. The world doe not need more cats.

SanFranBear · 05/11/2021 22:57

You mention nor getting any more male pets.. but also that you have a female cat. I sincerely hope you're getting her spayed as she will fall pregnant if she's allowed out.

Also I feel like I've taken away his right to reproduce - this is daft. Cats don't care about their babies in the way you thjnk they do and male cats even less. He'd have done his business and then fucked off, leaving even more unwanted cats to find homes for.

You've done the right and responsible thing!

TurnUpTurnip · 05/11/2021 22:58

This reminds me of when my mum wouldn’t get her cat neutered until she had kittens as she “wanted her to be a mum” Hmm

foxgoosefinch · 05/11/2021 22:58

He’s a cat! In the nicest possible way, he doesn’t have a right to reproduce 😂

You did the right thing, OP. Stop worrying 😂

Greenhillfaraway · 05/11/2021 22:58

Having pets neutered is something you should do without question. There are far too many animals who live shitty lives because owners didn’t have their pets neutered. I heard a statistic this week of 250,000 stray cats in the UK. 250,000 cats who have to scavenge, live miserable lives and quite probably die in pain alone.

Cute puppies and kittens don’t stay that way for long if they are owned by irresponsible people. I’m afraid YABU.

Vinorosso74 · 05/11/2021 23:00

Of course it's the right decision. Unneutered males are more likely to fight and acquire FIV alongside general war wounds; they're more likely to get run over or go missing as they will travel further in search of females, tom cats get stinky. He'll be none the wiser, it's all hormone driven, he won't actually be aware he no longer has balls. Neutering prevents any 'accidental' kittens so even if the local females haven't been done, at least you've done your bit.
Did he also get microchipped?

minipie · 05/11/2021 23:01

Male cats don’t look after their babies or even know they exist most of the time. Do you really mean his right to sex?

pinkstripeycat · 05/11/2021 23:01

Well done op. At least your cat will not reproduce with cats who owners are too lazy to get their female cats spayed.
Your cat will not suffer from not mating
Your cat will be less likely to stray in order to mate. Males cats will wander 50mile radius from their home to mate

specialsauce · 05/11/2021 23:03

I think the ultimate place we need to be eventually is for the idea of owning 'pets' to be a thing of the past. One day it will be seen as selfish and outdated.

EmmaC78 · 05/11/2021 23:05

This is a really odd post, surely you realise there are already thousands of unwanted cats in the country and it would be irresponsible to add to this?! I can't see what the worry is. Your cat won't care, boy cats recover quickly from being neutered.

As a pp said you need to get your female cat spayed as well if she isn't already.

ExPatHereForAChat · 05/11/2021 23:08

People who don't get their male cats neutered and give them outdoor access are the most irresponsible cat owners out there.
These cats get into fights, spread nasty viral infections (like feline aids) and produce many, many feral kittens.
They themselves are at very high risk of getting hit by cars and being in other accidents.

You've made the right decision op. By a country mile.

montysma1 · 05/11/2021 23:08

Frankly if you have emake If you have female cats they should be spayed too.

Your tom cat, which you have "denied the right to breed" would otherwise go out and impregnate countless female cats, either ones with owners not "taking away their right to breed" or feral females who birth kittens outdoors. Those kittens can breed at 6 months old. And the kittens kittens will breed at 6 months old. Rapid generation after generation. And you have an explosion of poor homess hungry sick little animals who live short frightened lives. Thats whats unethical. Get your cat neutered.

Brusca · 05/11/2021 23:08

You are being ridiculous.

I hope you got his sister spayed too?

Un-neutered cats (male and female) have much worse lives than neutered cats. There are already too many abandoned, feral and stray cats, it is a huge problem, and anyone who has a cat needs to act responsibly and not be part of the problem.