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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Feeling guilty for getting my cat neutered

559 replies

Sammy900 · 05/11/2021 22:45

Hey

Just wondering what other peoples views are and if I'm overthinking it or being unreasonable? I just want different opinions, experiences really so I can weigh up both sides....

Today our handsome boy cat went to the vets and was neutered and I've never felt so ethically uneasy and awful about making a decision for a pet. I feel like I've taken away his right to reproduce :(

Everyone keeps telling me it's for the best, he will be less likely to get into fights and be exposed to other illnesses from that, he won't spray around the house. We have two cats a boy and girl and they are brother and sister so it would be a whole load of wrongness later on ....

I just feel so uncomfortable about it, so much that I don't want anymore male pets now that I have to face this decision for. I love my pets and I suppose in some ways, further down the line of the argument it's unfair/restrictive to prevent anything from living a wild and free life.

I guess what I'm seeking is to weigh it all up and get my thoughts in the right frame and hopefully come to the conclusion that it WAS the best decision....any thoughts or experiences of a similar vein ? un-neutered pets that were a nightmare?

What does everyone else think?

OP posts:
WildBluebell · 05/11/2021 23:44

We have decided to let our girl cat have a litter and then get spayed...so maybe that's where the incongruence lies with my ethics

Why? Is that because you don't want to "deny her the experience of motherhood"? GrinGrinGrin If so, that's really stupid.
Are you gonna keep all the kittens?

Clymene · 05/11/2021 23:46

You are anthropomorphising your pets.

You shouldn't have any more because people like you are incapable of looking after them properly.

thecatneuterer · 05/11/2021 23:47

www.celiahammond.org/index.php/faqs/neutering-info

Please do a bit of reading OP.

Original poster
Sammy900 · 05/11/2021 23:47

Wowsers! No need to be so angry guys ....I'm not an irresponsible pet owner! I'm just thinking about things, looking for a debate, pros and cons on a decision that has made me feel uneasy today.

It's one thing choosing food, shelter, whether to let your pets go outdoors, etc and another actually choosing to castrate them - to me that is a much bigger decision. My cat was born with reproductive organs and would have developed a drive to use them. I have interfered with that. So it's made me stop and think.

It's good to know the benefits, and I am reassured by the fact that he won't really know any difference and what could potentially be bad for him later on as a domestic cat....I guess we should consider these things if we are going to pettify animals for life.

OP posts:
godmum56 · 05/11/2021 23:48

why on EARTH are you going to have a litter of kittens? Do you intend to breed her on her first season? because that is a bad idea so you will have to keep her in during her first season and then during her second and then maybe she will have a post partum season and THEN if you are lucky, you can get her spayed. have you ever lived with an in season queen? Nightmare! What will you do with the kittens? how will you ensure good responsible homes for them?

I really hope this is a troll because otherwise its a fucking idiot

thecatneuterer · 05/11/2021 23:50

You ARE an irresponsible pet owner if you are going to allow your female cat to have a litter.

ohwhattodowithmylife · 05/11/2021 23:52

Definitely overthinking this, your cat will be happier and you will be happier as a pet owner.
There are enough unwanted kittens - you have a responsibility to prevent this

thecatneuterer · 05/11/2021 23:54

I really hope this is a troll because otherwise its a fucking idiot

Thing is, I can well believe it because I come across it all the time (as I work in cat rescue). MN is an educated demographic on the whole, so you don't often find this sort of thing on here, but in the real world (and on my local Nextdoor, which has to be seen to be believed), there are many owners like this.

Girliefriendlikespuppies · 05/11/2021 23:58

Please get your cat speyed, it's completely irresponsible to bring more cats into the world.

JesusIsAnyNameFree · 05/11/2021 23:58

Are your cats plain ol' moggies?

LittleDandelionClock · 06/11/2021 00:00

@Sammy900

WOWSERS, no need to be so angry guys.......

Really? Hmm

Judystilldreamsofhorses · 06/11/2021 00:02

Our female cat was spayed because we wanted her to be able to go out freely, and also definitely didn’t want to have the stress of finding homes for kittens. It’s the responsible thing to do. She has a lovely life. (Except tonight which has been miserable as sin. Thanks, fireworks.)

violetbunny · 06/11/2021 00:02

I volunteer for a cat rescue.

If you'd seen the absolute state that unwanted kittens get picked up in sometimes, then I promise you that you would know immediately you've done the right thing. It's heartbreaking, and it vastly outweighs anything you might be "denying" your cat. We're talking kittens with eyes so infected their eyeballs have actually burst. That kind of thing. Because no one wanted them so they got dumped.

Original poster
Sammy900 · 06/11/2021 00:02

Wow O.k I'm not a troll....I take on board your points and words of advice against letting the girl have a litter from a wild/outdoor tom cat (albeit harsh! calm down folks)...

So any advice on how to responsibly enable our girl cat to have a litter? / vs spaying straight away. That would be helpful.

Reproduction is a natural thing. That's why we have pets in the first place - they aren't all pests being sold willy nilly on the back streets, mistreated

OP posts:
WildBluebell · 06/11/2021 00:03

I feel so sad for all the unwanted kittens that stupid people like that breed Sad
Like, there's so much information online already, what is there to debate?

VetOnCall · 06/11/2021 00:05

Please get your female cat spayed. There is absolutely no need or justification to 'let her have a litter' and no benefit to her from doing so (only risks as pointed out above). There are far too many feral and unwanted cats and kittens already in existence to consider adding more. 'Nature' doesn't really come into it, these are domesticated pet animals. Presumably you feed them, let them sleep in your house, had them vaccinated, worm/parasite treat them, and would treat them for illness if necessary. All of this is 'interfering with nature' and is all a vital part of being a responsible cat owner, as is having them neutered and not allowing them to risk disease/injury/pregnancy and birth complications. Cats have no concept of having missed out on anything after being neutered, they do not dwell on what might have been. Neutering as soon as possible guarantees a safer, healthier and happier (as less stressful) life for both male and female cats.

LittleDandelionClock · 06/11/2021 00:05

@Sammy900

I take on board your points and words of advice against letting the girl have a litter from a wild/outdoor tom cat (albeit harsh! calm down folks)...

Calm down folks...... ???

Blimey you really are the gift that keeps on giving!

WildBluebell · 06/11/2021 00:05

So any advice on how to responsibly enable our girl cat to have a litter

There's no such option. Just get her spayed.

steff13 · 06/11/2021 00:08

So any advice on how to responsibly enable our girl cat to have a litter?

There is no way to do that.

TedMullins · 06/11/2021 00:09

Why do you want your female cat to have a litter? Do you think she’ll care? She’ll be safer neutered ASAP - otherwise she is at risk of being impregnated by a random roaming male. I felt sad after having my chihuahua neutered because he was dazed and grumpy for a day afterwards but he’s absolutely fine. I adopted a pug aged 6 from irresponsible owners who didn’t have him neutered so he still has balls - vets have given conflicting advice as to whether he’s too old to be snipped but he oozes willy juice all over the place so for that reason alone I wish he was.

Animals might have natural instincts to reproduce but they don’t think about it in the same way as humans. Domestic pets having litters that are then sold on and you have no idea what kind of life they’ll have - that’s not ethical. There are enough animals needing a home in shelters without creating more. Breeding animals needs to be far more tightly regulated - it shouldn’t be seen as a thing you just fancy doing. So in short yes of course you did the right thing but for god’s sake get the girl done.

thecatneuterer · 06/11/2021 00:13

It is irresponsible to let her have a litter no matter how you do it.

The only responsible thing to do is to have her spayed immediately.

You seem to be implying that it's necessary for cats to have litters so that there will continue to be cats as pets. If we ever, ever get even close to a situation when there aren't enough kittens being born then perhaps that might be reasonable, but we are so far from that situation as to make it not even worth thinking about. There is such an excess of cats being born every year, compared to homes available, that every extra kitten born means that many more will be left to die (as there isn't the room in the rescues). And many more adult cats will be left as strays on the street, as the rescues are so overwhelmed with the kittens there is no space and no homes left for all the adults that need them. Some places put cats and kittens down because they are just too overwhelmed. As I said above, even if you find good homes for your kittens you are still using up a home that could have gone to other unwanted kittens.

It's 'natural' for cats to reproduce so much that only a tiny fraction of a percentage of the kittens born survive (due to starvation and predation) and for the average lifespan of the survivors to be around two years. That's how things are in countries (Egypt/Greece/Albania etc etc etc) where neutering isn't commonplace. That's what's 'natural'. Natural doesn't mean good or desirable and it certainly doesn't mean responsible.

Heartsandroses · 06/11/2021 00:14

Not a cat but my daughter bought a male dog
The first thing I did was to get her to get him done
She wanted him to have pups as ‘they are cute and he’d make lovely puppies’ (I know…)
I told her that was fine-if she was happy to make sure they’d gone to loving happy homes
And to make sure they stayed in loving happy homes-and for their pups to go to the same
And their pups
And the pups after that etc
She took my point-he was done within the week

I did the same when my son bought a dog-he was done within the month

There are so many unwanted and unloved animals in the world-please don’t add to it

whatswithtodaytoday · 06/11/2021 00:14

Please get your cats neutered and speyed asap. It is irresponsible not to. They don't have 'needs', they don't care about having babies - it will just be more unwanted kittens.

Living with an unneutered tomcat would be awful. The stink!

Sunshineandrainbow · 06/11/2021 00:15

Oh christ just googled cat penis barbed and that is absolutely horrific.

I am so glad my beautiful boy was neutered at 14 weeks old. Makes me even more mad knowing how painful it is for a female.

VetOnCall · 06/11/2021 00:16

@Sammy900
So any advice on how to responsibly enable our girl cat to have a litter? / vs spaying straight away. That would be helpful.

No because it would be absolutely 100% irresponsible. There's no benefit whatsoever to the cat, only potential risks, no benefit to the world as there are already far too many (as in tens/hundreds of thousands) of cats and kittens needing homes. The only benefit is to you, presumably to have the experience. I would seriously urge you to put this aside and have her spayed as soon as possible. Perhaps call in or even volunteer at your local animal/cat rescue to see them dealing with the consequences of people who don't neuter their cats or who had to let them have 'just one litter'.