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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect my EBF newborn to be allowed to accompany me to a hospital appointment

257 replies

Poppins2016 · 05/11/2021 21:19

As the title says... AIBU to expect my EBF newborn (7 weeks) to be allowed to accompany me to a hospital appointment?

I've been referred to gynaecology due to a tear sustained during birth which is healing badly. When they contacted me to make an appointment I said I'd need to bring my baby with me, but I was told that it wouldn't be possible (despite me pointing out that my baby is exclusively breastfed and 7 weeks old - the appointment is tomorrow).

My GP is happy to allow my baby to accompany me to appointments. So is my local hospital. But this hospital isn't willing to allow it (stupidly, I didn't ask why, but will do at my appointment tomorrow)...

I'm considering making a complaint for various reasons (what if I was a single mother with no support network? What do they suggest I do if my appointment is delayed or runs over and baby needs a feed (leave and abandon the appointment - a waste of resources)? What about breastfeeding discrimination?)
According to this article, your right to breastfeed is protected in hospitals...

I'm wondering whether my expectation (and potential complaint) is reasonable, or whether I'm being unreasonable and my judgement is clouded by the stress of the situation...
I'm having to drive there, take someone with me, feed baby in the car and hand over, then go to my appointment which I was advised will be 30 minutes without a wait. Baby is completely reliant on me - no bottles whether formula or breast milk - so there's no back up. I'm going to have to keep my fingers crossed that the wait time is low otherwise the worst case scenario is leaving the hospital to feed and asking to re-book the appointment which is a complete waste of resources.

I realise I could ask to delay the appointment, but I've been triaged and they want to see me now, plus I'm in a lot of discomfort and don't feel able to wait.

I also realise I sound as though it's my PFB - it's actually my second baby - I just feel very strongly that my baby shouldn't have to (potentially) become hungry and distressed because his mother needs medical treatment.

Fingers crossed that it's a non-issue and baby sleeps through/is content!

OP posts:
Original poster
Poppins2016 · 05/11/2021 21:22

P.s. I should clarify that when I said "30 minutes without a wait" I meant that the expected appointment time is 30 minutes. There may be waiting time/delays on top of that.

OP posts:
mollibu · 05/11/2021 21:22

Hi OP,

I don't have much of an answer for you but just wanted to hop on to say that where I work (gynae clinic) we stopped allowing children to appointments because we had 2 separate incidents of patients fainting while having an examination! (We also don't allow sweets or chewing gum because of this reason too).

Not sure if it's a case of this as well at your trust? As it does very from trust to trust.

NeurologicallySpeaking · 05/11/2021 21:23

Totally agree and actually it's not even just bf. I had to go back in after being discharged from a C section after blood pressure was too high with postnatal midwife measurements. I couldn't drive as 2 days post surgery so DH had to drive me with the baby and sit in the car with her while I went in to the hospital. I was mixed feeding so he had milk at least to give her but still ridiculous.

MrsFin · 05/11/2021 21:23

Is it a Covid thing?

User7312019 · 05/11/2021 21:30

But you could easily just pump and leave an emergency bottle of breast milk for baby - you don’t need to leave them hungry or distressed?

Original poster
Poppins2016 · 05/11/2021 21:30

@MrsFin

Is it a Covid thing?
I wondered if it might be covid... perhaps a different protocol to my local hospital.
OP posts:
Bollindger · 05/11/2021 21:32

Sorry but your going in for an intimate check up, and the Professional Person has a right to expect you to just as Professional in return.

Take someone with you to look after the baby, as I a single mum I have had to do this many times, it's the proper way to do things.

Yes EBF children,

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 05/11/2021 21:34

Not everyone can pump, not all EBF babies take a bottle

UndertheCedartree · 05/11/2021 21:35

I walked in to a hospital appointment breastfeeding my 4 week old baby many years ago. It does seem strange that they don't assume that someone coming for a tear sustained during birth will most likely need to bring their baby.

InTheLabyrinth · 05/11/2021 21:37

I ebf both kids.
The hospital appointment is for you, and in order to get the most benifit to you, they need your full concentration. Not you feeding a baby, or changing a nappy, or clearing up a posset.
Yes, it's a total pain in the arse, but you need to leave baby nearby. If the hospital is open to people, they wont stop you feeding in a public area. They just limit the people in the appointment.

LolaSmiles · 05/11/2021 21:37

I think the issue is that if something happens to you the hospital staff aren't there to look after children, which would include a baby.
There were signs at one of my outpatient appointments saying not to bring children as they had to be supervised at all times and staff were not able to watch children whilst parents had medical examinations.

fanjosaysi · 05/11/2021 21:37

@DrinkFeckArseBrick

Not everyone can pump, not all EBF babies take a bottle

Yep. Plus a newborn will most likely sleep throughout. I don't get what the big deal is.

SickAndTiredAgain · 05/11/2021 21:37

But you could easily just pump and leave an emergency bottle of breast milk for baby - you don’t need to leave them hungry or distressed?

My DD wouldn’t take a bottle of expressed milk for quite a while, it’s not as easy as just “leave a bottle”.

Shmithecat2 · 05/11/2021 21:38

@User7312019

But you could easily just pump and leave an emergency bottle of breast milk for baby - you don’t need to leave them hungry or distressed?
My ds thrived EBF, but buggered if I could pump more than 3oz in 24 hours. Expressing is not always 'easily' done.
Hm2020 · 05/11/2021 21:39

I was a single parent with a newborn where would they advise you put the baby if you have no family!

ftw163532 · 05/11/2021 21:39

your going in for an intimate check up, and the Professional Person has a right to expect you to just as Professional in return.

Wtaf? Is this a typo?

Patients undergoing invasive examinations have no responsibility whatsoever to act like robots.

Original poster
Poppins2016 · 05/11/2021 21:40

@User7312019

But you could easily just pump and leave an emergency bottle of breast milk for baby - you don’t need to leave them hungry or distressed?
I'm going to attempt pumping tomorrow morning... The appointment was made at short notice and I haven't had any time to try today (I have an older child to take care of and baby is constantly on the breast cluster feeding at the moment). I don't actually know how much I'll be able to express and baby has never had a bottle before, so it's a gamble but I'm going to try!

Plus... (just playing devils advocate here/adding food for thought) what if I was someone who doesn't own a breast pump or whose baby definitely doesn't take a bottle?

OP posts:
Hankunamatata · 05/11/2021 21:43

You cant sometimes fit a pram in the examination rooms, so where would baby go while they are examining you. If you take not well during examination - faint etc then who would take care of the baby? There's whole safeguarding issues too.

Tee20x · 05/11/2021 21:44

This wouldn't even have occurred to me. I wouldn't have said I needed to bring my baby with me and just turned up with her.

Unless they actually have a no kids policy that was on the letter or whatever.

seriously though what do people do if they have no family or friends to leave the baby with? Just not get medical treatment? There must be some alternative.

Also a newborn will just chill or sleep throughout. Hardly a toddler running up and down the halls.

SarahAndQuack · 05/11/2021 21:44

Are you sure this wasn't someone giving the standard advice without realising what kind of appointment you had? I can imagine maybe a person dealing with clinic bookings might have a standard rule you don't bring in children, which is intended to prevent someone going in for a delicate procedure taking their bouncing toddler along with them.

I agree with the PP who says surely, they must expect women coming in to have recent postpartum appointments to bring newborns, it must happen all the time.

Iamtired123 · 05/11/2021 21:45

I left my baby with my mum in the waiting room while I was having a colposcopy and she was asked to leave when baby started crying as to not upset any women who may have experienced/been experiencing a miscarriage, could be something to do with that? If so that's completely understandable

clarysageandlavender · 05/11/2021 21:45

I think this is totally unacceptable from the gynae dept for an injury sustained in childbirth (sorry for that too OP).

Tbh I'd probably just take the baby. They may well sleep through the whole thing anyway. Sounds like you've got enough going on OP to be faffing with pumping and bottles just for this.

jezziej · 05/11/2021 21:47

Plus... (just playing devils advocate here/adding food for thought) what if I was someone who doesn't own a breast pump or whose baby definitely doesn't take a bottle?

Tbf you don't need a pump whatsoever to express, but a bottle you will obviously need.

I agree it's not fair for a baby so young to have to be separated. The fact single mums do it as pp mentioned... we'll, I don't think they should have to either, really

ChalfontPark · 05/11/2021 21:47

@User7312019

But you could easily just pump and leave an emergency bottle of breast milk for baby - you don’t need to leave them hungry or distressed?
Not as easy as you suggest if you've never done it, don't own a pump and baby has never taken a bottle. Plus why should OP have to go out and buy a load of bottle feeding kit she doesn't intend to use?
Justheretoaskaquestion91 · 05/11/2021 21:47

What are you supposed to do if you don’t have anyone who can watch the baby? What a load of sexist bullshit. So fucking stupid. Mother can’t attend appt she needs due to giving birth due to baby that has resulted from giving birth.