To have been offended by this in the play centre.

[spidermummy19]

Took DS to the play centre this afternoon. He wanted me to video him coming down a slide which I did. Straight away a member of staff came over and said “do you not know the rules?” I said “no sorry, what rules?” She said “you’re not allowed to take photos or videos of children in here” I apologised and told her I didn’t know that. I genuinely didn’t, I have never and wouldn’t have taken the video if there was another child near him. But there wasn’t, there were only roughly 4 other parents in the play centre and none of the other kids were anywhere near him. She then said “it’s the fact that you could be anyone” I was highly offended and was left to feel really uncomfortable after it.

@WombatChocolate I understand that, and I did say in my OP that I have never taken a video or photo where other children have been in shot. But to be told that you shouldn’t do whether there are children present or not is a little over the top. If there are no children present at all, for example, in a wooded area like you said, then what is the issue?

There’s no reason the rule couldn’t have been stated nicely and politely giving you the benefit of the doubt. Some people just like to make others feel stupid.

Spider, so do you want the SoftPlay notice to say ‘Please don’t take photos of your children unless there are less than 10 children in the building’ or ‘Please use your judgement about whether there are lots of children about before taking pictures’ or ‘Only take pics of your own kids……make sure you control all then others so they don’t slip into the background’

What you suggest in an indoor place, just isn’t viable. If people are left to make their own judgement, as has been shown on this thread, some will go ahead and take plenty of pics. They will post them online and no doubt there will be some other kids in the background of some of them. All the issues I mentioned earlier are there again. It has to be a blanket rule that has no ambiguity,so everyone can understand it. People don’t have to like it. But you’d hope they could understand the reasons behind it and therefore comply for the good of all kids, rather than deciding their enthusiasm for a pic of their kid on the slide trumps safety.

@WombatChocolate No someone on this thread said that

@WombatChocolate the way they worded it sounded like they meant everywhere.

Yes spider…..they meant everywhere. It is a blanket rule.
I was being facetious, and giving wording that clearly wouldn’t be workable, to show why a blanket rule is needed.

Starting to wonder if you’re having a laugh!

@WombatChocolate I’m laughing at the fact that I’m being told I can’t take videos or pictures of my kids anywhere even if there aren’t any other children around😂

@WombatChocolate because I can guarantee the majority on this thread who have children, even those who have said I’m being unreasonable have taken videos or photos of their children at some point out of the house

@spidermummy19

I’m more offended by the “you could be anyone” comment.

Why are you offended? You literally could be! Just because you are there with a child doesn't mean you couldn't also be up to no good filming other kids.

The rule is fine (though they should have very obvious signs) and it had to be a blanket one, otherwise it would be impossible to police and parents would constantly be arguing the toss.

But yes, this woman could have spoken to you in an entirely different tone and achieved the same result. She was over brusque.

Please read what I said.
I did not say you can never take photos out of your house.

I said you do have to think carefully about when you can and when you can’t. I pointed out the scenarios when it would be best not to and when it could be okay. I said you need to think about it and be informed by the issues of other children getting into photos, but also consider things like posting online and who might be accessing the pics.

You also need to be willing to understand policies in places that have children and be willing to follow and respect them. You don’t really seem that keen on doing that…or think the policies should have more grey areas so you can choose yourself when is and isn’t appropriate to take pics.

Of course there will be lots of times you can take pics. But there will also be. A number of times when you need to think carefully about if it’s actually appropriate. Any any place which is open to the public and which has paid or common entry (playgroups, surestart centre type places, swimming pools, soft play, libraries, restaurants) you really need to think and be careful. Some of these would also ask you not to take photos. In those without an explicit policy, you simply need. To think carefully about it. Often you will have to make your own judgement call…but hopefully a bit more informed now, about some of the sad issues going on in society and how photos can impact children.

@WombatChocolate yes but somebody else did which is what I stated and then you said “yes they meant everywhere”

@WombatChocolate at the end of the day I have held my hands up, realised I shouldn’t have been offended and said that I now know that I shouldn’t have videoed him

Anyway Spider, I think I’ve engage with you enough. Perhaps this thread is about more than the taking of photos and I think I’ve said all I can on that.

I hope you’re able to enjoy pics if your child and lots of outings to fun places for small kids. And I hope you understand better now why these policies are in place, and that actually no-one can tell if you’re a lovely mummy just there for the kids’ entertainment, or actually a mummy who also has some more sinister ulterior motives….because they are out there sadly. Perhaps you’ll think more before taking pics now, and no doubt sometimes you’ll still take some and it will be entirely fine, but perhaps sometimes you’ll decide not to because of this thread. And perhaps you’ll understand more why the signs or requests ask you not to, rather than thinking it’s overkill or pointless, or if a staff memener speaks to you or someone else. Maybe one day, something will be happening in your local area where you’ll be glad there has been vigilance in these matters.

@youvegottenminuteslynn

I mean... if you don't agree with the policy of a venue then don't aren't. And don't feel persecuted if someone basically explains the thinking behind the policy.

But she didn’t just explain. When OP apologised, she should have left it there. There was no need to follow up with the comment ‘it’s the fact that you could be anyone’. And it’s not even a fact, OP could just be a mum with her kid.

@WombatChocolate

Anyway Spider, I think I’ve engage with you enough. Perhaps this thread is about more than the taking of photos and I think I’ve said all I can on that.

I hope you’re able to enjoy pics if your child and lots of outings to fun places for small kids. And I hope you understand better now why these policies are in place, and that actually no-one can tell if you’re a lovely mummy just there for the kids’ entertainment, or actually a mummy who also has some more sinister ulterior motives….because they are out there sadly. Perhaps you’ll think more before taking pics now, and no doubt sometimes you’ll still take some and it will be entirely fine, but perhaps sometimes you’ll decide not to because of this thread. And perhaps you’ll understand more why the signs or requests ask you not to, rather than thinking it’s overkill or pointless, or if a staff memener speaks to you or someone else. Maybe one day, something will be happening in your local area where you’ll be glad there has been vigilance in these matters.

What a load of sanctimonious waffle.

Do you get that OP apologised as soon as the staff member asked her not to take pics?

@Squeezita thank you! And I actually never said I don’t agree with the policy

Can imagine that her manner was a bit annoying but it’s probably quite a strict rule. Perhaps would have been better not to have engaged with her beyond saying ‘sorry’ and stopping immediately.

Do you get that OP apologised as soon as the staff member asked her not to take pics?
And then started this thread in which she repeatedly asked "but there were no other kids in the shot, what's the problem?...

@spidermummy19

Took DS to the play centre this afternoon. He wanted me to video him coming down a slide which I did. Straight away a member of staff came over and said “do you not know the rules?” I said “no sorry, what rules?” She said “you’re not allowed to take photos or videos of children in here” I apologised and told her I didn’t know that. I genuinely didn’t, I have never and wouldn’t have taken the video if there was another child near him. But there wasn’t, there were only roughly 4 other parents in the play centre and none of the other kids were anywhere near him. She then said “it’s the fact that you could be anyone” I was highly offended and was left to feel really uncomfortable after it.

Why were you highly offended by someone whose role includes safeguarding children doing her job to protect to children?

As a parent I would have thought you would be impressed at the intervention.

@CormoranStrike For the 10th time, I was offended by the way she worded it. Which since then I have admitted I shouldn’t have been offended

[quote spidermummy19]@CormoranStrike For the 10th time, I was offended by the way she worded it. Which since then I have admitted I shouldn’t have been offended[/quote]
How rude! I read your OP and replied to it. I didn’t realise I had to read every post in AIBU, then respond to your initial query, taking in every nuance as I went.

@CormoranStrike I apologise, but it seemed that you were being patronising

[quote spidermummy19]@CormoranStrike I apologise, but it seemed that you were being patronising[/quote]
I wasn’t, or at least not intentionally! Apology fully accepted.

I hope you have a fab Saturday, and that you and your little one find joy in whatever you do today.

@CormoranStrike

How rude! I read your OP and replied to it. I didn’t realise I had to read every post in AIBU, then respond to your initial query, taking in every nuance as I went”

Actually the etiquette is to read ALL of OP’s posts before commenting.

So you are rude not to RTFT (read the fucking thread).