To think that *some* men need to just STOP doing this?!

[perplexedandvexed]

Ok firstly I'll start by saying I know that this is not ALL men. However I myself have experienced it on numerous occasions and now my 12 year old daughter has too.

Please, men of the internet, STOP SENDING YOUR DICK TO PEOPLE WHO HAVE NOT ASKED FOR IT

My daughter is 12 and after much deliberation we allowed her to have an Instagram account on the proviso that I have full access to it at any point. Before anyone has a go for letting her have one, the majority of her friends have them and the ones that aren't allowed them still have them just without their parents knowing.
We're very close and open about most things so she's happy to let me have full access and always shows me if anyone messages her.
She mainly uses it for looking at pictures of dogs and following her favourite music artists etc.
She started getting messages off a guy she did not know, he had no pictures of himself on his profile but all fairly innocent posts - scenic views/ some pumpkins at Halloween/ a couple of dog pics.
His messages just said 'hi' and 'I like your dog'
She did not reply and then gets sent a picture of his rather unimpressive penis in an excitable state. From the photo he sent, he looks no older than 16/17
She immediately replied with 'eww that's grim, I'm only 12 and I'm telling my Mum' which she did. The account immediately got deleted after that so I'm assuming the little wet wipe panicked but JUST WHY? I have reported but doubt anything will get done.

I too have had several sent to me on various platforms, all seemingly normal men and then all of a sudden - HERE, have a picture of a random part of my anatomy that you didn't ask to see.

What can we do to educate boys/ men that this is the biggest turn off and that no self respecting woman gives a shit about seeing some random strangers worm dick?

Sorry, I don't really know what I'm hoping to get from this post I just wanted to vent.

@NiceGerbil

It's safe for 13yo though?

Its certainly a weird thought process which is why i commented on beatrice post

This should be a thread full of ‘gosh that’s dreadful’

Not…’dd shouldnt have been on instagram in the first place’

Thank you youvegotten

@NiceGerbil

It's safe for 13yo though?

I think almost all of us who think it's awful for a 12 year old to be potentially exposed it this stuff also think it's awful for a 13 year old.

Psychologists, when asked a suitable age children should have open access to the internet, say 'when they can be exposed to porn.' It's depressing, terrifying and upsetting. Awful. 13 is much too young also IMO.

Well it's a decent answer.

18 then. For all users male or female.

Yes a good answer very clever.

Just thought-

When I was young it was videos. They were X rated. 18 then.

Now loads of stuff saying it's not illegal to view porn under 18.

I mean that wasn't illegal it was the provider that would have been committing a crime.

So. Was 18. Now... No minimum???

It's illegal to show a child porn. Logically. Why.

[quote BeaucoupFish]@beatrice82
So it would be okay to send a dick pic to a 13 year old then ?[/quote]
I didn't make a comment about the dick pic, did I? Obviously it's wrong.

My point was... if the parent had followed the rule of having to be 13 to have an account, then this would never had happened and we wouldn't be having this conversation.

That's an odd way of looking at it. She'll get an account at 13 and she will get dick pics.

@perplexedandvexed I thought I did read the full thread. I'm sorry I missed the part where you said the account was private, there's no need to get shirty.
Maybe you need to check more often who is adding who then, if the account is private. I don't think anything will ever change unfortunately. Not matter how many people say we need to educate boys/men. There has always been perverts, they adapt how they do it and there are too many of them and not enough online policing.

And if she isn't allowed anything like insta till 15 say. Then that will mean much less likely to get a dick pic till 15...

If no woman or girl uses the net for anything except BBC news etc. Then this whole issue pretty much goes away!

Finally we have a solution. Phew!

(Of course loads will get flashed at irl but that's a different matter!).

Posting this here obviously isn’t going to reach your target audience.

She isn’t old enough

[quote nordicnorth]@perplexedandvexed I thought I did read the full thread. I'm sorry I missed the part where you said the account was private, there's no need to get shirty.
Maybe you need to check more often who is adding who then, if the account is private. I don't think anything will ever change unfortunately. Not matter how many people say we need to educate boys/men. There has always been perverts, they adapt how they do it and there are too many of them and not enough online policing. [/quote]
But whether 12/ 15/ 25 or 40. We don't want unsolicited dick pics.

So again. Underlying problem remains.

@Reptar

That's an odd way of looking at it. She'll get an account at 13 and she will get dick pics.

Personally I agree that a 13 year old should have an Instagram account either. I hate the whole platform - self absorbed twats who make normal people feel shit about their lives. I hate Instagram and believe it's very bad for people's mental health. And no, I don't have an account.

I meant DISAGREE!!
Young teenagers should not be on Instagram!

@NiceGerbil I never said anyone wanted them did I?

Beatrice-

I've got an Instagram account! Used to do a lot not so much now.

I post pics of interesting buildings, and flowers/ trees/ views when out and about.

I follow a mix. Star trek, work colleagues not in UK, and a couple of really good artists.

That makes me a self absorbed twat who make normal people feel shit?

Well that's certainly interesting. I'm not sure it's true. Maybe my pics of shrubs do make people feel terrible about their lives. I'd think that was their problem really though tbh.

@NiceGerbil

And if she isn't allowed anything like insta till 15 say. Then that will mean much less likely to get a dick pic till 15...

If no woman or girl uses the net for anything except BBC news etc. Then this whole issue pretty much goes away!

Finally we have a solution. Phew!

(Of course loads will get flashed at irl but that's a different matter!).

Do you have kids and if so do they have any friends?

Yes.

I'm being sarcastic!

Putting the onus on women/ girls to 'protect themselves' (and each other) is exactly the same as the general societal reaction to rape.

It does nothing to address the problem across the board.

It diverts attention from perpetrator to victim.

It focuses on each incident individually and ignores the whole picture.

I find it frustrating but understand why it's so popular.

Ah right, I’m tired, there have been some very odd replies in this thread.

The problem is, telling men they should not do this, won’t stop men doing it. The ones doing it are a small minority and don’t take notice of the authorities or us, just because we would like them to.

So because of that, we need to protect our DDs as best we can. You can’t control what others do, only what you do.

So preventative measures are a must.

@IfNot

It’s a conversation I plan to have with my son when he’s old enough - obviously not “don’t send dick pics” but I will talk in general terms about this sort of thing.

Oh, I think I actually said "don't send dick pics" Is that bad??

I've also explicitly told my boys "don't send dick pics".

[quote youvegottenminuteslynn]@RufustheBadgeringReindeer

So at 12 its the OPs ‘fault’ that her daughter received a penis picture (or maybe her daughters fault…im sure you aren’t thinking that though)

But at 13 it reverts back to being the mans fault?

Thats the only thing im getting from your post, and I absolutely appreciate that i might have misunderstood completely

You have misunderstood I think.

Nobody is saying it's the 'fault' of OP's daughter.

They are saying that the risk of her being exposed to this experience was hugely heightened due to her being allowed to have an Instagram account underage and not mature enough to manage it e.g. accepting a follow from a stranger.

It's not her fault. At all. Because she shouldn't have been in a position where men could share messages / pictures with her at all. [/quote]
Accidentally clicking 'accept' on someone she thought was in her class as his name was similar and then forgetting about it does not mean she isn't mature enough to follow her favourite horse riders, friends and some dogs. She doesn't usually accept requests from strange accounts.
She's not mentally scarred for life by this, in fact some of the posters on here seem more bothered by it then she did.
Anyway, I'm getting bored of repeating myself now so I think I'll just agree to disagree with anyone who thinks I'm a shit mum

You are most definitely not a shit mum, OP.

How on earth you can be blamed for some twat sending a picture of his dick I will never understand

Because it's all about blaming women and girls and not about questioning men's entitlement and behaviour, @Tryagainplease.
Sadly.

Alot of men think their erection is gods gift to women

My point was... if the parent had followed the rule of having to be 13 to have an account, then this would never had happened and we wouldn't be having this conversation

Well she would…just at 13

I think the i agree with nicegerbil the porn comment was a good one and that would make it 18…in theory