To think that *some* men need to just STOP doing this?!

[perplexedandvexed]

Ok firstly I'll start by saying I know that this is not ALL men. However I myself have experienced it on numerous occasions and now my 12 year old daughter has too.

Please, men of the internet, STOP SENDING YOUR DICK TO PEOPLE WHO HAVE NOT ASKED FOR IT

My daughter is 12 and after much deliberation we allowed her to have an Instagram account on the proviso that I have full access to it at any point. Before anyone has a go for letting her have one, the majority of her friends have them and the ones that aren't allowed them still have them just without their parents knowing.
We're very close and open about most things so she's happy to let me have full access and always shows me if anyone messages her.
She mainly uses it for looking at pictures of dogs and following her favourite music artists etc.
She started getting messages off a guy she did not know, he had no pictures of himself on his profile but all fairly innocent posts - scenic views/ some pumpkins at Halloween/ a couple of dog pics.
His messages just said 'hi' and 'I like your dog'
She did not reply and then gets sent a picture of his rather unimpressive penis in an excitable state. From the photo he sent, he looks no older than 16/17
She immediately replied with 'eww that's grim, I'm only 12 and I'm telling my Mum' which she did. The account immediately got deleted after that so I'm assuming the little wet wipe panicked but JUST WHY? I have reported but doubt anything will get done.

I too have had several sent to me on various platforms, all seemingly normal men and then all of a sudden - HERE, have a picture of a random part of my anatomy that you didn't ask to see.

What can we do to educate boys/ men that this is the biggest turn off and that no self respecting woman gives a shit about seeing some random strangers worm dick?

Sorry, I don't really know what I'm hoping to get from this post I just wanted to vent.

@perplexedandvexed

Can I just add, neither of my kids spends much time on the internet, she was actually going through her Insta for the first time in about 3 days while sat next to me. My post wasn't about my daughters use of SM, rather the behaviour of men online but it seems we have to just accept that 'some men do that' and blame the mum for letting her use it

Yep why has the focus gone on to mum blame? Must be the DCs fault for having Instagram too? Good old victim shaming?! Wtf

Why should we have to set everything super private in fear of sad perverts not able to control their disgusting behaviours?

Set account to private. Decline any follower requests. Report to Instagram and authorities any obscene pictures already sent. Keep monitoring. I’m thankful social media wasn’t so much of a thing when my kids were young. It’s a nightmare.

@Laurie000 I know GM from a few years ago. I wouldn’t give him the views!

“Some” men think their penis is impressive. Yawn…

If her friends went and played on the M25, would you let her do that aswell?

I wouldn't recommend it. High risk of encountering dodgy men on way, as roads with few pedestrian/ shops. Also getting picked up by iffy men.

Internet flashing is disgusting. It's no diff to the weirdos in the park doing it. They all get a sick kick from the shock value.

And I've never seen an impressive one, yet.

@Pinklemonade1

If her friends went and played on the M25, would you let her do that aswell?

It’s IG. Not IB.

I think she reacted well, and its wonderful you have a close relationship, its such a valuable thing.

Lets also reflect there are also "some" women who insist on flashing T and A at every opportunity. Big yawn too.

Please tell me you have reported this to the police not just Instagram. This is paedophile grooming. So sorry your daughter experienced this.

@LifesABotch

Is it not illegal? Especially when sent to a minor?! I'd be reporting it, it's same as flashing, and not an insignificant action.

Yes. It's indecent exposure, the same as flashing in a public place. Screenshot it and report it to the social media platform and the police.

Loath the way this has turned into an opportunity to berate the OP’s parenting skills. Have some balance here, obviously we need to control our kids access to social media platforms and monitor their usage but I think she was raising the bigger question of what’s going on in society that makes this virtual flashing fairly commonplace. Perhaps, as has been perfectly demonstrated here, it’s the willingness to blame the recipient for being on the receiving end rather than dealing with the perpetrator.

I've only once been sent a dick pic. My response was
🤣🤣🤣 Wtf is that supposed to be??
Strangely, he blocked me with no reply.
But seriously, I'm glad that your daughter told you OP because at least you could act on it and have a conversation with her about the seedier side of social media.

when this type of thing is so common, how in the hell are you supposed to teach your teenage daughters that not all men are like this, that it is possible to have a healthy an respectful sexual relationship with a man etc??
i ask this as the mother of a teenage girl...

Laurie000
Top tip for dealing with unsolicited dick pics. Go on YouTube and search ‘Willy by wifi’ it’s a video by a comedian called Gary Meikle. Watch it and send it back as a response to anyone who sends you a dick pic. Don’t write anything. Just send the video.

youtu.be/y6GfsBLjP4k

I always get these I just don't reply although its not just men tag do it I also get random requests and topless photos from girls if they worry you that much don't let your kid have Instagram or tell her to only accept from ppl she knows

@GloriaSicTransitMundi

“It’s like a cat bringing home a dead bird, I know you’re proud of it but I’m still not touching it”. 🤣

Gloria that is brilliant

Yet another of these threads.

How about you exercise some sense and set your privacy settings. The fact is that there are sleazes out there and unfortunately thats not going to change overnight.

@PearlclutchersInc

Yet another of these threads.

How about you exercise some sense and set your privacy settings. The fact is that there are sleazes out there and unfortunately thats not going to change overnight.

RTFT.

And there is nothing wrong with ‘yet another of these threads’ except for the fact that men persist in sending dick pics.

@PearlclutchersInc

Yet another of these threads.

How about you exercise some sense and set your privacy settings. The fact is that there are sleazes out there and unfortunately thats not going to change overnight.

How about you have some empathy and stop victim blaming ?

Or how about you ask yourself “ I wonder if anyone has already mentioned privacy settings in the last 300 posts ? “.

Once again responsibility placed on females (women and girls) to manage male behaviour

Only one person in the wrong and that is the person sending unsolicited pictures of their genitalia no one else

I do not believe a psychiatrist would be so flippant it’s known that such behaviour as flashing is often how sex offenders start offending

Can't take the credit, @allbubblesbubbles11 and @TatianaBis, that was @Laurie000 who suggested the 'willy by wifi' but I absolutely howled at “It’s like a cat bringing home a dead bird, I know you’re proud of it but I’m still not touching it”. 🤣

However, I do have to deal with the odd dead 'present' from my cats and then it's marigolds and a big bucket of disinfectant - think that might apply here too! 🤣

I'm a guy - You are absolutely not being unreasonable. Sadly I do not know we must do to stop these men from sending photos of themselves. Social media can be used for good; reconnecting with old friends, advertising businesses etc. but in my opinion it is a cancer, severely harming the self esteem of our youth and in a lot of cases enabling people to get away with online abuse without repercussion. My advice would be to keep your children off social media. And with companies like facebook becoming Meta and embracing the Metaverse, things will get much worse. We need to repent, seek God and pray for our children.

Exactly this OP.