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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think that *some* men need to just STOP doing this?!

312 replies

perplexedandvexed · 05/11/2021 14:45

Ok firstly I'll start by saying I know that this is not ALL men. However I myself have experienced it on numerous occasions and now my 12 year old daughter has too.

Please, men of the internet, STOP SENDING YOUR DICK TO PEOPLE WHO HAVE NOT ASKED FOR IT

My daughter is 12 and after much deliberation we allowed her to have an Instagram account on the proviso that I have full access to it at any point. Before anyone has a go for letting her have one, the majority of her friends have them and the ones that aren't allowed them still have them just without their parents knowing.
We're very close and open about most things so she's happy to let me have full access and always shows me if anyone messages her.
She mainly uses it for looking at pictures of dogs and following her favourite music artists etc.
She started getting messages off a guy she did not know, he had no pictures of himself on his profile but all fairly innocent posts - scenic views/ some pumpkins at Halloween/ a couple of dog pics.
His messages just said 'hi' and 'I like your dog'
She did not reply and then gets sent a picture of his rather unimpressive penis in an excitable state. From the photo he sent, he looks no older than 16/17
She immediately replied with 'eww that's grim, I'm only 12 and I'm telling my Mum' which she did. The account immediately got deleted after that so I'm assuming the little wet wipe panicked but JUST WHY? I have reported but doubt anything will get done.

I too have had several sent to me on various platforms, all seemingly normal men and then all of a sudden - HERE, have a picture of a random part of my anatomy that you didn't ask to see.

What can we do to educate boys/ men that this is the biggest turn off and that no self respecting woman gives a shit about seeing some random strangers worm dick?

Sorry, I don't really know what I'm hoping to get from this post I just wanted to vent.

OP posts:
RufustheBadgeringReindeer · 06/11/2021 09:38

Oops sorry beatrice

I didn’t refresh…

roxyro · 06/11/2021 17:27

It's not a power thing or anything else apart from them thinking that because they get such a buzz out of seeing our genitals, we get the same thrill from seeing there's. Men are ruled by their dicks, period. Their sex drives are so strong and they get turned on so easily they think we're the same. They are idiots basically.

Whycantibeapuppy · 06/11/2021 17:31

I’m a big social media user and this is par for the course on a daily basis. I now use a name and shame approach. Usually I reply “congratulations, you have won today’s smallest penis award” and then post the pic my account with disgusting parts covered and the same title including trophy 🏆 and champagne 🥂 , including their username. The accounts rarely last a day after that. It’s just a shame to know the gross individuals just create new ones with a different name

Bambi77 · 06/11/2021 17:34

An ex partner was putting pictures of his genitals on a swinging site, I found it when he was piddled and left his phone unlocked he was into porn in a big way that a real normal relationship was alien to him. When I look back I think what a lucky escape I had from a creep

Bertiebiscuit · 06/11/2021 17:35

Just report it to the police - is illegal regardless of who does it or why

exaltedwombat · 06/11/2021 17:38

No, of course they shouldn't do this. But you can't control it.

Sounds like she handled the situation very well. What you CAN do is congratulate her, agree that 'boys are gross sometimes' and then drop the subject. Don't tell her this was something that SHOULD have traumatised her.

Plumbuddle · 06/11/2021 17:41

@Dojacatpaws

Alot of men think their erection is gods gift to women
So true. The aim has to be to publicly shame them as much as possible. I was sitting on the tube a couple years back and accidentally had my airdrop open to all. An older man sent over a porn pic of a woman's bum - perhaps to the whole carriage, who knows. Because my iphone had a woman's name I got this. Boy was he horrified when I loudly urged all women in the carriage to watch out as there was a porn sender in the carriage. It was particularly funny because he still had his phone in his hand and saw that I was the same age as him, ie really old and unattractive in his eyes. He had thought he would get lucky with someone younger no doubt. Anyway I so enjoyed the sight of him gibbering until the tube stopped at his next station and he shot off it. So did everyone else no doubt.
TatianaBis · 06/11/2021 17:42

@Whycantibeapuppy

I’m a big social media user and this is par for the course on a daily basis. I now use a name and shame approach. Usually I reply “congratulations, you have won today’s smallest penis award” and then post the pic my account with disgusting parts covered and the same title including trophy 🏆 and champagne 🥂 , including their username. The accounts rarely last a day after that. It’s just a shame to know the gross individuals just create new ones with a different name
Good work. 🥂
silverbubbles · 06/11/2021 17:46

You and your daughter need to get educated about social media. Set her up with privacy etc, she should not be accepting friendships from people who she does not know and she certainly should not be responding to notes from people she does not know......

landing223 · 06/11/2021 17:50

This type of behaviour from men shows they are immature and not in tune with the fact a lot of woman find it horrible to have Dick Picks sent to them. What are the guys hoping to achieve. It’s a complete lack of respect

SnacksAndTheCity · 06/11/2021 17:57

They don’t care that women don’t want to see it. They’re not trying to please us. It’s sexual harassment; they do it because they know we don’t want them to.

And yes, the narrative needs to change. Boys should be taught from an early age how to respect women and treat us like human beings.

Feeasco · 06/11/2021 17:58

I have my settings so that only added friends can interact and those wishing to have to send a request.

Pigeoninthehouse · 06/11/2021 18:00

@roxyro

It's not a power thing or anything else apart from them thinking that because they get such a buzz out of seeing our genitals, we get the same thrill from seeing there's. Men are ruled by their dicks, period. Their sex drives are so strong and they get turned on so easily they think we're the same. They are idiots basically.
I agree with this. I think for some they might a get a thrill at exposing themselves and its can be an aggressive act, but I think in the main a lot of men are utterly clueless about women and assume that because they want to see pictures of genitals, that we do too.
GarageFlower123 · 06/11/2021 18:07

Loving the way that you have addressed this with your daughter. My DDs are 9 and 12 and we've talked about this sort of thing already. Name it, shame and ridicule those that are doing it, and ensure your kids know about it. Parents of boys (those who aren't already doing so) tell your boys that nobody wants to see their dicks and that they're not entitled to sex.

Poppyg123 · 06/11/2021 18:09

They do it because they mistakenly believe that women have the same brain wiring as they ; in other words, a neuroendocrine circuit that is primarily excited by raw visual stimuli. Someone needs to explain their error to them.....

HollyandIvyandAllThingsYule · 06/11/2021 18:13

Boys might be justified in assuming but anyone over very young man age should know better. If they don’t they are either stupid or don’t care.

DdraigGoch · 06/11/2021 18:14

Well yes obviously, I was trying not to sound like I was insinuating that all men send them
Decent men would not have been offended if you hadn't included "some" in the title. They know they are not the problem.

myblackboots · 06/11/2021 18:15

You need to set her Insta account to private and tell her only to accept requests from her friends - people she's actually met. There are lots of perverts out there (of both sexes, I get strange email requests from females too that go straight into 'junk') and some people claim to be kids when they're not. I wouldn't dream of opening up any of my personal social media accounts to the general public and giving them access to my photos or personal details.

BettyJDavies · 06/11/2021 18:22

ohh goody my first time using AIBU. Some parents aren't fit to have children, If you take road safety as seriously as you take online safety, I'm surprised she hasn't been run over yet

Bettyboop3 · 06/11/2021 18:32

I think a lot of people replying are getting too sidetracked & judging OP & OPs daughter's use of SM. The legal age is 13, only a few months off OPs daughter's age. This is the world we live in & everybody should be free to engage in an instagram account without having to put up with being sent dick pics!! I wonder those of you who are judging are probs the ones who think women are asking for it if they wear a short skirt?!

MangoIce · 06/11/2021 18:34

Why have you allowed your 12 yo dd to have a public Instagram account with no privacy settings?? If she has all the privacy settings then creeps won’t be able to contact her or see her pictures.

RantyAunty · 06/11/2021 18:38

@CherryBlossomAutumn

By women asking… I mean literally asking ‘send me your dic pic’
They may have been men pretending to be women
Dontknowanymore2 · 06/11/2021 18:40

Revolting imbeciles

Mamanyt · 06/11/2021 18:40

I generally respond with either, "Gee...looks like a penis, but much smaller," OR, "Does that come in adult sizes?" and then block. Bit much to ask of a 12-year-old, though. And it is a damn shame that she can't have a social media account without exposure (pardon my pun) to such as that.

Maireas · 06/11/2021 18:43

@Poppyg123

They do it because they mistakenly believe that women have the same brain wiring as they ; in other words, a neuroendocrine circuit that is primarily excited by raw visual stimuli. Someone needs to explain their error to them.....
Someone needs to explain that it's sexual harrassment