You're absolutely right that what we NEED for men and boys to cut this crap out!
Personally I think the time is LONG past due where really the govt should have invested in a method of instantly reporting such incidents on the device as it happens and I think instant fines of the perpetrators would be a good deterrent too
But I do also think you need to educate yourself on the platform and IT safety for youngsters so you can help her set it to be a private account she's far too young for an open one
And you did not need to use the word “some”. All men need to shame all men not to do this.
Agree with this!
I'm SO sick of the NAMALT crap!
Actually yes most men if not actively part of rape culture themselves are complicit in not challenging those who are It's about damn time men who CLAIM to be "good guys" but laugh at others rape jokes, shrug their shoulders at the horrific vawg we are experiencing etc actually behaved like "good guys" and challenged and changed the culture
You've also been rude to @Tal45 who I agree with too.
If dd isn't mature enough to adhere to rules for HER safety using this platform then she shouldn't be allowed to use it - regardless of her friends being allowed!
My own dd many a time gave it "but everyone else is allowed"
Everyone else isn't MY dd that I intended to raise safely and healthily and with good boundaries and behaviour.
She is now 20 and in conversations we've had it's clear that while it annoyed/frustrated her at the time, knowing what she does now (and having seen the paths others without parents who cared enough to have rules and high level boundaries have taken) with hindsight she sees that I was right and that I was protecting her from the world/herself.
12 is when you actually need to have an eye towards teen rebellions on the horizons and establishing the FACT that what you say goes - no matter what her friends/peers and their parents are doing.
My dd was of the generation where teens were really just starting to have smart phones of their own and sm accounts etc.
She had a smart phone (I'd pass down my old ones she didn't need new imo) and I paid for the mins/texts as was the case then but basically paying for her to be able to use it, I also of course paid for the Wi-Fi at home.
The rule was it was MY phone I was loaning to her.
I was to have access to EVERYTHING she did on it at all times and could request it be handed over at any time to be checked and monitored which I did regularly.
She wasn't allowed to have sm accounts below the age the providers suggested.
She wasn't allowed to have open accounts and I had to approve everyone she allowed to see her accounts.
She wasn't allowed to post pictures of herself without my prior approval (to check for appropriate poses/clothing etc but also things like ensuring our house number, her school info etc wasn't accidentally in there)
This policy served us well when a friend of hers turned on her and basically embarked on a campaign of trying to oust dd from her close group of friends, online bullying etc which I was able to spot early doors and deal with.
Even now she is 20 she is very careful with her sm and who she allows on it immediately blocks anyone who remotely behaves in any dodgy way.
This is your job as a parent to teach her how to manage this part of modem life.
I'd have also garnered any info I could about the sender and reported him.
TLDR If you and she can't secure the account she shouldn't have it
@Reptar I'll be signing that thanks
It's not victim blaming to expect a parent to acknowledge the sad realities of the world at present and parent a 12 year old appropriately