To think that *some* men need to just STOP doing this?!

[perplexedandvexed]

Ok firstly I'll start by saying I know that this is not ALL men. However I myself have experienced it on numerous occasions and now my 12 year old daughter has too.

Please, men of the internet, STOP SENDING YOUR DICK TO PEOPLE WHO HAVE NOT ASKED FOR IT

My daughter is 12 and after much deliberation we allowed her to have an Instagram account on the proviso that I have full access to it at any point. Before anyone has a go for letting her have one, the majority of her friends have them and the ones that aren't allowed them still have them just without their parents knowing.
We're very close and open about most things so she's happy to let me have full access and always shows me if anyone messages her.
She mainly uses it for looking at pictures of dogs and following her favourite music artists etc.
She started getting messages off a guy she did not know, he had no pictures of himself on his profile but all fairly innocent posts - scenic views/ some pumpkins at Halloween/ a couple of dog pics.
His messages just said 'hi' and 'I like your dog'
She did not reply and then gets sent a picture of his rather unimpressive penis in an excitable state. From the photo he sent, he looks no older than 16/17
She immediately replied with 'eww that's grim, I'm only 12 and I'm telling my Mum' which she did. The account immediately got deleted after that so I'm assuming the little wet wipe panicked but JUST WHY? I have reported but doubt anything will get done.

I too have had several sent to me on various platforms, all seemingly normal men and then all of a sudden - HERE, have a picture of a random part of my anatomy that you didn't ask to see.

What can we do to educate boys/ men that this is the biggest turn off and that no self respecting woman gives a shit about seeing some random strangers worm dick?

Sorry, I don't really know what I'm hoping to get from this post I just wanted to vent.

Are all those giving perplexedandvexed an ear bashing on her child accepting a random friend request for real? No matter how well you bring up or educate your child they will at some point do something you have specifically told them not to, because they are children, they learn from their mistakes (hopefully), it doesn't mean you have failed as a parent! Sorry to disappoint you but I do not for one minute believe that your very precious children havn't done or won't do something silly in their time, just because you have no proof of something doesn't mean it hasn't happened.

It's embarrassing to be male sometimes
. Well, often.
Last week it's some bloke fiddling about in the mortuary.
Now I'm reminded of dic pics.

Desperately sad and fundamentally wrong....
biological or a sick fekin society?

It’s flashing, pure and simple.

A psychiatrist once told me men who do this are usually pathetic and it will boost their confidence if you say that’s the best one I have seen today . However l am mindful that the policeman who was recently convicted of rape and murder had previously been caught exposing himself. I don’t know if this applies to the sort of men who send pictures. I don’t think we can know what is going on in the mind of someone who does such things. It is abusive and grooming and unattractive.

A psychiatrist once told me men who do this are usually pathetic and it will boost their confidence if you say that’s the best one I have seen today.

A male psychiatrist, I presume? I would hope so because I’d hate to think a woman told you to do that!

@Comedycook

Oh come on...your DD is too young for a social media account. She shouldn't accept friend request from random strangers and if anyone she doesn't know messages her, they should be blocked immediately. The fact she didn't do this shows she is not mature enough to be on social media. I'm not blaming her by the way....but she clearly is too young to know how to handle these situations. Parent your child fgs.

Exactly this. Men shouldn't be sending dick pics to anyone who they're not in a relationship with, and your DD shouldn't have a SM account. Instagram is for over 13s anyway, and even then anyone under 16 should have their account set to private. Really OP, just don't go there - delete and realise your daughter isn't mature enough to handle an instagram account and all that might come with it.

That psychiatrist obviously didn't read evidence which links this behaviour to sexual offences. It is not harmless.

I’ve been with DH since before social media ( as we know it ) and I’m always amazed how many of my dating /single friends are sent these!?
Absolutely creepy bastards. It IS flashing, as above !
I was heavily pregnant in my Instagram and was sent a fair few “ hey honey how you doing” messages , which compared to a dickpic- are fairly tame , and still I was amazed by the gumption of these twats!
I ( pre Covid) a while back was sat on a train, and a bunch of wee boys n girls ( 13/14 ?) were giggling about these random adult men sending them Willie Pics!? The fact they were giggling made me realise that , obviously, they are too immature to deal with this , and the fact that it was normal for them made me so sad/angry !
I nearly got up and demanded a phone so I could ring whoever TF it was sending them, and tell them straight that they’re a paedo !
Heartbreaking for kids …
Wee boys thinking that it’s normal to send AND request dirty photos from wee girls.
And don’t get me stared on either kids view of real life sex v pornography.

• my Insta is now private.

I'm 53 years old I've never had a dick pic in my life. Also my Instagram is private.

I am male and I don't understand why so many of my gender seem to do this. I think the mental processes that lead to the behaviour must be varied but I can honestly say it is not something that I have ever done and my make friends would certainly never admit having done so although I don't think the majority would but you never know.

I think dating sites should actually have an option to highlight men who do this see how many women want to chat with them the.

It’s a form of flashing it’s not acceptable to send an unsolicited picture of your penis even the term dick pic makes it sound like a silly bit of fun

It’s revolting

I concur with men doing this for the vicarious thrill of the "shock" and it's probably easier and less risky for them on the internet.

I suppose going back to my youth (pre-internet days) it was the "flasher" (though they still exist) before our connected world. Very few women I know HAVEN'T been exposed to at some age or other, either in person or online in the situation outlined above. It's unbelievably grim, and the thrill is tempered with the chance they will almost certainly get away with it.

I do remember my ex-M-I-L had a handy series of lines to use with (real) flashers like "Ooh, it's like a penis only smaller", or "No thanks, I smoke my own" which would send then scurrying off. But then - as now - the police show(ed) little or no interest, and women I knew who suffered this would actually be questioned as to what they had done to provoke it. If some work was done and social media companies actually handed over details of the people who did this, it would happen a whole lot less.

There was an earlier post about male female brains being wired differently- that isn't correct, there are differences in which parts of the brain are used for tasks - eg the part that men use for complex 2d to 4d skills including knowing where they are relative to other things and map reading, building things. Women use that part for audio communicative skills which is why women are more intuitive and are much better at multitasking .

Make the account private. It’s really easy. YABU for not researching this.

If men's brains are wired to send dick pics then they all would. But they don't. It's nothing to do with their brains. It's simple misogyny, ego and entitlement that some men have because they've grown up believing they can.

My final post - thinking about men, myself included- I think that one thing that women may mot realise about male behaviour is [any act] is for some men not 'real world' for many though it is aggressive behaviour- but both groups must be getting off the behaviour- if they are sending pictures of themselves aroused then they are getting if the selfie and the distribution - regardless of the legality a friend who is a police woman says report it with number and they are obliged to diemd where the sender lives and pass the info to the local police - if they get reports piling up they will pay the guy a visit.

Haven't RTFT.
A friend of mine said this to a flasher, many years ago.: 'Oh, that looks a bit like a penis ......only smaller....

Please report this to the police. Zero tolerance!

@BadNomad

If men's brains are wired to send dick pics then they all would. But they don't. It's nothing to do with their brains. It's simple misogyny, ego and entitlement that some men have because they've grown up believing they can.

This, absolutely

Report every one that sends you that stuff. Report them to the social media platform but you can also report them tmto the police as it is illegal to send unsolicited "porn" over the internet/email.
The only way they stop is if they are cautioned or charged.

If men are hard wired to send dick pics what on earth did they do before the internet?

Surprised evolution happens in humans so fast. Interesting.

@supersop60

Haven't RTFT. A friend of mine said this to a flasher, many years ago.: 'Oh, that looks a bit like a penis ......only smaller....

If you'd read the thread you'd realise that this has been said quite a few times now.

Top tip for dealing with unsolicited dick pics. Go on YouTube and search ‘Willy by wifi’ it’s a video by a comedian called Gary Meikle. Watch it and send it back as a response to anyone who sends you a dick pic. Don’t write anything. Just send the video.

@NiceGerbil

If men are hard wired to send dick pics what on earth did they do before the internet?

Surprised evolution happens in humans so fast. Interesting.

It's not their fault, it's the wiring!

I think your DC responded great and has had a good insight into the ugly reality of social media and will be extra cautious re adding friends/ followers.