to think I did not break his fucking arrows?

[ShoveThatArrowUpYerArse]

OK, so we both work F-T. I take the our eldest to his hobbies after school, as H does not get home in time. This means I have stopped the two hobbies I have as they clash with DS1's hobbies. Its also a pain as they are 20mins drive away which means I end up in some crappy cafe for an hour trying to entertain ds2 whilst DS1 is in his classes.

H worked from home this week so I asked him to take DS1 to his class on Thurs. H said 'but I do archery then', 'yes' said I ' but you can also do that on Sat instead' 'That could be quite good' said H ' I can do it in daylight then.'

However, H has just decided to fire his arrows in the garden.

And they all broke. Some how he has reframed this as 'my fault (if you had 'let' me go on Thurs I wouldn't have 'had' to practice in the garden and they would not have broke

He is now huffing and puffing and trying to claim this means I am not supporting him to do his hobbies.

He does actually. Before I stopped those two because of the kids hobbies, he would always support me to go out. He would come home a bit earlier so I could get out if I needed him too. Its one of the things he is ok about

So can't you revert to that? Have him come home in time once a week to DS to his hobby so you can go to yours?.

[quote cabingirl]Make him sit down and watch this

[/quote] I think I have a problem, because I really do think that was Steve's fault

I’m going to give you a family survival tip: Everyone has a right to be around the front of the queue from time to time, which means that you have as much right to do your hobbies as your kids and OH

That will also mean that some of you cannot do your hobbies as you all wish but it is only fair that it is not always you. It is also good for your kids and husband, learning to take turns and be considerate of other people wants and needs is an amazing life skill to have.

What. An. Arse.

Arsewipe
Him
Not you

Sounds kind of illegal, using it in your garden

How can your marriage suvive living with him.

It really sounds like being married to a tantruming child.

How on earth did he break his arrows? They’re indestructible by design

Unless you are married to Hawkeye, he’s being a dick.

He was beaten as a child when at fault. Basic psychology why he avoids admitting fault.

However, you don't have to put up with it.

It really sounds like being married to a tantruming child

It really is. He really does throw proper tantrums. He doesn't even realise he is being a dick after the event and apologise. He genuinely thinks his tantrumy behaviour is justified by whatever triviality has sparked it.

@Polmuggle

He does actually. Before I stopped those two because of the kids hobbies, he would always support me to go out. He would come home a bit earlier so I could get out if I needed him too. Its one of the things he is ok about

So can't you revert to that? Have him come home in time once a week to DS to his hobby so you can go to yours?.

The kids' classes start really early and he can't get home early enough for those.

@AgathaAllAlong

This make so angry on your behalf I can feel the blood pounding in my ears.

Thank you so much for this. That really meant a lot to me. I am trying to work out why. I think maybe because, I don't know, someone feeling so emotionally involved on my behalf, so outraged on my behalf. I don't have family, I don't have anyone looking out for me or being angry on my behalf. So I don't know, I guess it made me feel seen when my H makes me feel so invisible. So thanks.

What a wanker!

Tell Robin Hood to get a grip

He genuinely sounds like a few adhd children I know who behave in this manner. Nothing is ever their fault. Everyone else is always wrong. Instant loud strops when things aren't going their way. It's exhausting.

But he's a grown up ... who clearly hasn't been required to actually grow the fuck up!

The ADHDers are getting the hate on this thread. Both DD and I have it and we take blame when required.

My non-ADHD DH doesn't.

He needs to take up a new weekend hobby - parenting. And you can go back to one of yours

DH's name isn't Robin then!

All this seeking counselling and advice on his behalf. You're basically his mum. At some point you're going to have to cut him loose to make his own way in the world.

I mean you're not going to want someone like this taking care of you, being the person in charge of life-affecting decisions, or of noticing and acting upon your everyday needs, when you're old, are you.

OP sometimes when I have something on but DH isn't home in time to do the activity, I take DCs and wait with whichever isn't doing the activity. DH then meets us there as soon as is possible to take over care/drive them home whilst I shoot off. There are also (fewer as I do the bulk of childcare) occasions where we do the same in reverse. Would that be possible to allow you to take your hobbies back up?

Arrows really aren't "indestructible" - it's entirely possible to smash arrows up whilst hitting a target, especially if you're shooting from odd / changing angles. Olympic archery is only one style of archery - some of us are shooting at targets from galloping horses, which is very different It's also possible to "robin hood" an arrow, by sending another one into the shaft itself.

That being said, I've never known anyone break multiple arrows in one session, and his attitude sucks. He really hasn't engaged with the "meditation" side of archery at all!

@ShoveThatArrowUpYerArse can't he work from home the day of the class so he can do the drop off? Or at least alternate weeks that way so you can do your hobby?

Put him on the naughy step!

@SpinsForGin

Ah so you have 3 children.......

💯