to think I did not break his fucking arrows?

[ShoveThatArrowUpYerArse]

OK, so we both work F-T. I take the our eldest to his hobbies after school, as H does not get home in time. This means I have stopped the two hobbies I have as they clash with DS1's hobbies. Its also a pain as they are 20mins drive away which means I end up in some crappy cafe for an hour trying to entertain ds2 whilst DS1 is in his classes.

H worked from home this week so I asked him to take DS1 to his class on Thurs. H said 'but I do archery then', 'yes' said I ' but you can also do that on Sat instead' 'That could be quite good' said H ' I can do it in daylight then.'

However, H has just decided to fire his arrows in the garden.

And they all broke. Some how he has reframed this as 'my fault (if you had 'let' me go on Thurs I wouldn't have 'had' to practice in the garden and they would not have broke

He is now huffing and puffing and trying to claim this means I am not supporting him to do his hobbies.

@Iggly

You just laugh in his face. He knows he’s talking the bollocks

Laughing is a great way to deal with this sort of thing. I find it works well and is much better than getting angry, I mean my blood pressure doesn't go up so that's good.

@Dontbeme

To add he shouldn't be shooting alone, one arrow drawn beyond his anchor point and the arrow will fall of the rest and he will shoot himself into his own hand. I have known it to happen and if he is using aluminium rather than carbon arrows he's in serious trouble.

That sounds painful, I'm wincing thinking about it.

He must be absolutely shit at archery if he snapped his arrows in the garden. He needs to practice more. Shame on you, OP.

You could add Poison Arrow by ABC to your play list and Cupid by Sam Cooke 😂

@BigFatLiar

We all need to winge sometime. Do you think he was truly blaming you or just having a winge.

No, he was genuinely blaming me. Then expanded it into how I never 'let ' him do anything and why won't I 'let' him do anything.

Its utter shit. I've been encouraging him to join a hobby/ group and go out and meet people for years and he finally has. But then asking for him to do ONE evening taking DS to activities and him then breaking his arrows so he can't go on Saturday to archery instead, has been turned into me trying to stop him from doing 'anything' and I'm ' 'unbelievable' and 'so unfair'.

Maybe his nappy needed changing? Get one of your toddlers to have a word with him about emotional intelligence.

He sounds genuinely unhinged. I hope you do break his bow, then tell him it was his fault for upsetting you about the arrows. He isn’t going to grow up spontaneously so I guess primary school tactics it is unless you leave.

He is talking rubbish, but why did the arrows break in the garden, Robin Hood always fired them in the woods and they never broke there.

Have you shown him a Kevin the Teenager sketch and he inadvertently took it to be a manual for life?

LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO!
This is really awful behaviour. But I really can’t understand how he broke them. All of them. I’d be suspecting that something was going wrong and he broke them deliberately in a temper tantrum.

Ooh I reckon he did it on purpose! He actually hates archery and wants to sit at home all day. And doing the classic of making it your fault!

Say "as you can't go to archery now, I've arranged for some drinks with the girls."

He sounds like a knob end.

You've broken Mumsnet now @ShoveThatArrowUpYerArse, you actually named your DH's hobby. Maybe MNHQ should add a warning to the thread title?

My DH also does archery. Doesn't break his arrows though and thankfully doesn't have temper tantrums.

How old is he? Fucking 5?? I honestly truly thought this was about one of your kids until I read it again. What a pathetic man baby.

Really sad that you've given up your hobbies to facilitate those of the three males in the household.

I shoot a medieval longbow with wooden arrows and in 6 years have only managed to break about two. And that includes shooting at big blokes in metal armour!

(And it's shoot, not fire, as there's no fire involved. /pedantic)

I know what I would be doing with his bloody arrows and he wouldn't be sitting down between now and Christmas.

I hope you are currently hatching an excellent escape plan, OP.

I could make lots of jokes about him missing the point and being highly strung and all that, but that's not really the important thing.

Perhaps you had no choice but to give up your hobbies if he doesn’t get home in time to take your child to his activity, but it sounds as though he expects you to just deal with that while he should never have to do as much as postpone his own hobby....and then, when he's an idiot as a result, he truly thinks it's your fault.

That's a problem.

Does he often act like this? I had boyfriend who was so incapable of taking responsibility for any kind of mishap that literally everything was my fault.

Though there were many occasions I got the blame for things that absolutely were not my fault, there are two that stand out as being particularly ridiculous:

a. The time he spun the car off the road in the dead of night when he took a roundabout too quickly, and narrowly escaped seriously injuring/killing us when we came to a halt a couple of inches from a lamp post - that was my fault because I must have been 'talking' to him at the time. I don't think I was, actually, and even he was unsure enough to ask me whether I had been ... before deciding I MUST have been and therefore it was me who had caused the accident. Nothing to do with his shit driving, of course.

b. The time he knocked his drink over in his room and it went on his bedsheets. That was my fault too, though he didn't have any reason to back himself up this time. He just shouted at me anyway.

Needless to say, I dumped him in the end, but six years too late!

pussycatlickinglollyices, your comment made me laugh out loud, that's a rarity these days.

Generally, LTB is too often used here but really, I would be thinking about it. Sounds like far too much hard work and not a lot of joy!

I think this is the tune for you today.

Also, I’m really sorry you’re going through this @ShoveThatArrowUpYerArse. I really believe that some men like the idea of marriage and children, but are just not suited to that life. The frequent accounts of ridiculous behaviour by petulant, selfish, lazy manbabies on MN supports that.

@NoThankYouSaurus

Someone that childish shouldn't be playing with sharp sticks. Confiscate his bow, and tell him he can have it back when he grows up.

Love your attitude & wit!! 🤣🤣

My brother does archery
Arrows don’t break I’d they thwack into their intended target!