Can I leave a 12-year-old home alone for an hour?

[TheDuchess1979]

My ds is a fairly sensible 12 yo who is in year 8 of secondary school. As I work full time, I pay for a childminder for before/after school as I think being alone for a couple of hours is too much.
My dh and I are hoping to go to a dance class on Sunday night which is a 5 minute drive away for 45 minutes. AIBU to leave ds home alone?

Sounds fine to me. Is your DS ok with that?

I think he’s far too old for a childminder at all I can’t believe someone in secondary school has one. Wouldn’t worry about the 45 mins, he’ll be fine.

of course

I left my DC for much longer and when they were much younger. I think its more than fine.

Your 12 year old has a childminder?

I’m shocked he is in childcare, poor kid must get the mickey taken by his mates

As long as DS is ok with it and you're not back too late.

I have a 12yo (yr 7). He would be fine for an hour by himself. Nor would he look very favourably on going to a childminder, if I’m honest. I would think about dropping a day or two at the childminder and seeing how it goes.

Why is a couple of hours too much for a secondary school age child?

I work long hours as a secondary school teacher so he has dinner there etc. 3 hours at home before I get home feels like too long.

Absolutely! We stretched using a childminder out to the first half term of secondary school and that was more than enough. As long as they can contact you & know a neighbour to go to in an emergency it's fine.

Yes, a yr8 is perfectly capable of staying home for an hour on their own unless there is a massive drip feed re behavioural problems coming up…. I agree they are too old for a childminder!

You send your 12yo to a childminder?? Jesus he must be getting grief at school!

So you aren’t home till after 6 every night?

My year 7 ds, youngest in year, has been staying alone for an hour here and there since year 6, and walks to and from school, so yes I'm sure that's absolutely fine. He would die of embarrassment if I arranged a child minder for him.

It’s a tough age re childcare, I work full time too and didn’t know what DH and I would do about the children once they were at secondary, as they’d be home alone until 6pm every day which seemed wrong for an 11 and 12 year old (who’d probably also kill each other). Working from home came along just in time for us, so solved our problem.

You can leave for the whole day at 12.

My parents were dance teachers. They left me at home from 7pm til 11pm 4 nights a week from when I was 12. I loved the freedom. I did homework, watched TV, listened to music...

I've left my 9yr old before now (very sensible) . 12 year old? I'd be thinking I'd done something wrong with my parenting if I was questioning that, sorry.

And agree about him not needing a childminder. He's Year 8!!

Of course you can ??

I’m a bit of a worrier but even I think that you’re being overzealous OP.

He doesn’t need a childminder and he’d be fine for a few hours home alone this weekend, never mind one.

Enjoy your dance lesson.

Erm…yes. And I leave home at 6.30am every morning. It’s a long day and feels too long for him to be by himself. I should add that we’ve not lived here long and don’t know any neighbours.

He'll definitely be fine on Saturday night, an hour is no time at all. He'll barely look up from the TV/his games console in that time.

I also think it is too old for a childminder, you could leave a snack in the fridge for when he gets home and then he has dinner with you when you get home.

Thank you!

Hmm, I'm not sure tbh.

Normally, I'd say it's absolutely fine, 12 is plenty big enough. However, you know him best and you obviously don't feel that he is mature enough to cope with being home alone after school. That's very unusual, but I presume you have your reasons for this, so maybe you shouldn't leave him.

Personally, I would be less inclined to leave a child at home for an hour in the evening than I would for 2-3 hours during the day.