To ask how perimenopause/menopause has changed/is changing you emotionally

Justcannotbearsed · 01/11/2021 07:26

I had a lot of depression, anger and anxiety. Like permanent appalling PMT. HRT really helped. Back to more myself.

I have also have a lot less sympathy with people and am much more willing to just say ‘no’ to stuff.

supercritter · 01/11/2021 07:28

Irritability. Less empathy or wanting to do things for family members. Can see why in evolutionary terms in sense of detaching from your kids but can make you feel like you're not a very nice person

Adm1010 · 01/11/2021 07:29

I’m 47 and peri . I can be very up and down emotionally . I’ve always been volatile but it’s harder to control sometimes . My tolerance for bullshit is getting less and less . I’m getting to the point where I think I need to explore HRT

Opal8 · 01/11/2021 07:33

@Kitchendisco21

This might be a difficult one to pin down but I really feel like perimenopause is like going through puberty backwards- it’s incredibly challenging and I find myself questioning everything in my life- people, jobs, my relationship with DP, what I really want, who I really am. It feels quite shocking at times.

Aibu to ask how perimenopause/ menopause is changing you?

Yep. Everything you said ^ I simply do not take any shit anymore from anyone. It's been enlightening for me to see how angry others others when I treated how they treat me... My nurturing hormones are pretty much gone 😀 Luckily my kids are a but older now - I really feel for older mums tbh. I cannot imagine dealing with a toddler/young child now. On the plus side I am taking time for me, starting work again and basically doing what I want 😀

OldTurtleNewShell · 01/11/2021 07:38

Interesting thread. I've started getting some fairly unpleasant mood swings, mostly down. I wish they also came with an up!
I'm going to be making a GP appointment for that as well as some other stuff but I have been wondering if it might be a menopause thing as I'm reaching that age.
Watching this thread with interest.

OhWhyNot · 01/11/2021 07:41

Emotionally i just don’t give a fuck like I used too which feels empowering and not trying to please everyone

But at times I’m second guessing myself especially at work

I struggle working full time and getting on top of everything else as I’m so tired the I get a bit low but not having mood swings

Having a few blood tests (this is to rule out ongoing health issues) then discussing HRT with GP. Can’t wait. Have tried a number of natural products can’t say they have made a difference for myself

Ilikewinter · 01/11/2021 07:45

Is this whats happening to me??......possibly last 6 months just totally hacked off with people, usually im very tolerant but thats vanished, i speak my mind more, definately say 'no'.
Ive got a 6 month old puppy who is causing me an enormous amount of stress, but DH thinks puppy is great.
I cant seem to make a decision and stick to it, am forgetting things at work.
Im actually fed up of myself.

Whatwouldnanado · 01/11/2021 07:49

My tolerance levels have drained away with my hormones. I have developed the capacity to smile and say no with little further excuse or explanation. I had a phase of massive self doubt, paranoia etc which led me to question every aspect of my life and whether it was right for me, not just for everyone else. Horrible at the time but now i think of it as a sort of stock take. I am more aware of the passing of time and how I use it, and feel more in control although I have elderly parents, teenagers, grandkids and an older husband in the mix. No radical changes made, but can quite understand women who are moved to divorce, change profession etc. HRT gave me migraine so I rely on Menopace Max, yoga and a bit more wine than I used to drink!

thesearetherichesofthepoor · 01/11/2021 07:53

I'm in artificial menopause currently (zolodex implant for endometriosis- hysterectomy a few years ago at 30 but they left my stupid ovaries)

I feel knackered all the time. No motivation. More settled with life but that might be because I'm lacking the motivation to change anything. Losing chunks of time too and my brain feels like custard.

Interesting to see how it's affecting others. No one I really know that well is going through it so can't discuss it in RL

Original poster

Kitchendisco21 · 01/11/2021 07:56

@Whatwouldnanado yea, HRT gave me migraines too- I wondered if it’s because I am still in early stages so still have a lot of fluctuation oestrogen levels

OP posts:

Mantlemoose · 01/11/2021 08:00

I'm quite horrible now. I never suffered fools but could always walk away, now my mouth seems to have a will of it's own. I'm bitter and angry and I can't stand this world. Covid really finished it for me.

Naaaaah · 01/11/2021 08:01

Lots of the above but I also feel very differently about sex. Flirting and being sexy feels ridiculous and I just can't be arsed with sex.

Opal8 · 01/11/2021 08:09

Hrt (all types) gave me horrific migraine to the point I was told I shouldn't take any hormones

OhMyfanwy · 01/11/2021 08:37

Agree about the anxiety levels, loss of tolerance and waking up to how people treat you, especially people you thought cared, things sting now when before I'd brush it off
I'm also waking up a lot in the night worrying about things and why things happened. Lots of 'what if' thoughts. Not sure how much is covid and how much is menopause, but the combination definitely brought me down.

ssd · 01/11/2021 08:38

Im more anxious and worried. If thats possible.

wizzywig · 01/11/2021 08:41

Is the opposite in terms of libido possible? Am 46 and want it all the time

Madhairday · 01/11/2021 08:43

I'm so much more anxious. I used to be quite chilled out and calm but lately I've been much less tolerant of things and find stuff just much more difficult. I don't get as excited about stuff as I used to, eg looking forward to things. I'd generally prefer to curl up on the sofa with Netflix and a cup of tea than most other things. Definitely agree re lack of sleep and just feeling like I don't care as much. However started on HRT around 2 weeks ago and it's already working wonders for the hot flushes so hoping it'll have affect on the other stuff too.

Naaaaah · 01/11/2021 08:47

@wizzywig

Is the opposite in terms of libido possible? Am 46 and want it all the time

Yes, your libido can definitely go the other way too.

Justcannotbearsed · 01/11/2021 08:48

@wizzywig I went through that stage just before menopause properly kicked in. Think it was hormones saying last chance saloon for a kid.

guestusername · 01/11/2021 08:49

I am much more anxious. I have moments of mega PMT type anger although nowhere near as often as when I had periods. I’m much more tired, everything is more effort and I am a lot grumpier generally. I had very little patience before but now I have zero! I can’t seem to get any quality sleep anymore and lying in is nearly impossible. I couldn’t lose weight and still struggle now. I was getting hot flushes several times an hour which was horrendous when having to wear a mask all day in work. I also had severe bladder urgency. I started HRT in January which has more or less got rid of the flushes and bladder problems

I’m 44 and have now not had a period for two years. That’s the best part of being of a certain age 😂

ssd · 01/11/2021 08:50

I do wonder how covid has affected all this though. The last almost 2 years has been trying for everyone.
I'd be interested to see how women felt about this age ,without a global pandemic happening at the same time.

TangoWhiskyAlphaTango · 01/11/2021 08:51

I am 44 and have an appointment with my GP tomorrow to talk about HRT. So far I feel like i am going insane at time - rage, tears, depression, lack of motivation. Also started having night sweats which I can deal with its the moods that I cannot tolerate. Scared of HRT though in case it makes things worse plus I do not want to gain weight. Periods regular as clockwork though but sometimes light and other times heavy.

Isnt it shocking that 51% of the population goes through this yet there is so little support....if it happened to men i am sure it would be very different!

Turquoisesea · 01/11/2021 08:52

I just can’t be bothered with things anymore. My nurturing side has pretty much disappeared. I’m sick of looking after people, my tolerance for idiots is zero, I’ve started saying no a lot more to things where previously I wouldn’t have. I definitely feel a huge shift in myself and questioning lots of things in my life. Still having (horrendous) periods at 51, but they are all over the place. Keep thinking about HRT but having suffered visual disturbances whilst previously on the pill, not keen to try so keep plodding on hoping I don’t kill anyone in the meantime!

ssd · 01/11/2021 08:53

@guestusername

I am much more anxious. I have moments of mega PMT type anger although nowhere near as often as when I had periods. I’m much more tired, everything is more effort and I am a lot grumpier generally. I had very little patience before but now I have zero! I can’t seem to get any quality sleep anymore and lying in is nearly impossible. I couldn’t lose weight and still struggle now. I was getting hot flushes several times an hour which was horrendous when having to wear a mask all day in work. I also had severe bladder urgency. I started HRT in January which has more or less got rid of the flushes and bladder problems

I’m 44 and have now not had a period for two years. That’s the best part of being of a certain age 😂

Thats interesting you saying about bladder urgency. I have that too and ive been using vagifem from the drs for a few years. I think it helped at first but its not helping now. I don't want to take hrt just for that, but im wondering if theres something else I could try.

OhWhyNot · 01/11/2021 08:55

I think at the beginning of being peri menopausal your libido (for some women) goes through the roof. Maybe your body telling you this is your last chance to get pregnant

Mine thankfully has settled down I had this around 47/48 which was later than my friends