To ask how perimenopause/menopause has changed/is changing you emotionally

[Kitchendisco21]

This might be a difficult one to pin down but I really feel like perimenopause is like going through puberty backwards- it’s incredibly challenging and I find myself questioning everything in my life- people, jobs, my relationship with DP, what I really want, who I really am. It feels quite shocking at times.

Aibu to ask how perimenopause/ menopause is changing you?

@wizzywig

Is the opposite in terms of libido possible? Am 46 and want it all the time

I did in my 40’s but at some point, when I was about 49, it absolutely disappeared.

I’m 46. In peri but still having periods but not regular. Terrible insomnia. Lack of motivation. Brain fog. Mood swings. Hair dry.
I went to go a few weeks ago and got hrt easily. Started taking it and already feel more like me. Not had blood test yet.

I'm a bit happier, and more appreciative of life. I notice the beauty of nature more (this may not be anything to do with peri or menopause; it could be to do with just getting older generally, and realising that time is running out). I think I have become slightly physically braver - I'm more confident driving in heavy traffic, and on the motorway.

Another Endo sufferer who had their ovaries shut down with Zoladex, I already had many of the symptoms and now they have been made worse. The last pill they put me on made me feel so desparately depressed. I have an appointment in 3 weeks to discuss what they would like to try next. Hopefully it will be something where I get to feel energetic, motivated and happy again. If it could sort out hormone linked incontinence, crazy heavy periods that too would be appreciated! I am so sick of feeling so tired.

[quote MrsPatmoresPinny]@wanttomarryamillionaire I'm 40 (started experiencing changes at 35) and have been told by the GP that I'm too young for menopause to even be considered, let alone HRT.[/quote]
I would ask for a second opinion. I am only 44 and ive been on HRT for over a year. I was having peri symptoms for a long time before that.

Do you mind me asking what symptoms you got HRT on the basis of @wanttomarryamillionaire as I’m similar age, fully in the throes of peri and want to approach my GP. Thanks

Any other suggestions for navigating the physical and emotional symptoms of Peri/Meno - supplements/foods/books/things to do etc.?

I found start flower helps with sudden pmt and irritablity symptoms and have been taking maganesium citrate - also take vit D and zinc for other reasons - probably need to go back to iron suppliments I'd started as well as periods are heavy long and I do get tried and headachy - and that seemed to help a bit. Also read vit B12 is good for brain fog but haven't tried yet.

I've also read menopause pjs and wool blankets rather than synthetic duvets and help with night sweats - though I'm no having those yet was thinking of starting to get hold of them now.

I'd also like to know how to approach my GP - I'm 44 so would very possibly be seen as too young. I've tried in the past with my heavy periods and side effects I got will pill often percibed for the former and never really got anything but brushed off.

I'm 49. Been in peri for a few years now.
I overthink everything. And I'm very anxious although I've had low level anxiety for years.
I don't get tearful but I rage a lot.
I am really short on patience though. I do have a habit of saying Fuck this and just walking away...

I had a Mirena fitted for low ferritin caused by 24 hrs of heavy period. I didn’t think it was that bad, but it obviously was !
It taken 3 months but I think it’s finally settling down 🤞🏻
But I noticed my stress incontinence improved after having it fitted. Not sure if it’s coincidence or not, but it was noticeable to me.

I rage a lot inside.
Yes to not giving a fuck either.
Can’t think of the right word often, very frustrating.
And a bit of anxiety, but I don’t have any night sweats.

swearing, being very very blunt, incredibly irritabe and blowing up and thats on hrt

My memory really isn't what it used to be! A few joint aches and more tired than I used to be.

I had my last 'proper' period in October 2020. Had 3 more following the COVID vaccine but that's it since so I assume that's me well on the way to menopause.

Oh, and hot flushes from time to time.

So far though, none of the rage but I'm sure that'll be round the corner!

Looking back I can see that it might have been perimenopause that spurred me into some huge life changes in my late 40s. From ages 47-50 I left a marriage that needed to be left, bought a flat, and requalified. Also started a new relationship and took up weight training..

Now I sort of lock back on it with awe.

I am seriously considering my marriage, he annoys the fuck out of me.
I do wonder though that, if I got rid of him, would I still have the rage and transfer it onto someone/something else 🤔

@putdesktogether i had very very heavy periods, constantly tired, they were irregular as in sometimes it would be 30 day cycle and others 21 days. Bleeding in between periods. Aches all over, emotions all over the place. I also had hot flashes but not regularly or at night. I spoke to my gp who told me to wait 6 months and come back of it was still happening, i then called back and luckily got put on to a gp who was immediately helpful and didn't even question that i needed HRT. I was all prepared for a fight but she was fantastic. HRT takes a little while to settle down but when it works it's fantastic.

Currently on HRT

It has made things a bit better - but

• still tired all the time
• have zero libido
• angry beyond belief with everything, everyone and life
• questioning all my relationships and sometimes going quietly mad
• insommia
• achy body
• craving carbs and piling on weight

I have tried keto for the last one and it is brilliant - I feel far better in so many ways when I'm on it but I can't stick to it for more than a couple of months and it needs to be a way of life for me.

But the night sweats are virtually gone with HRT, and the hair loss has lessened.

Thanks for sharing. I'm considering HRT.

Exercising like mad has helped with the rage. Somewhat. Still no patience with people's horseshit.

I don't know if the rage is a medical condition or just a natural result of living half a century under the patriarchy.

I am anxious, intolerant, disinterested In others, fat, unfit, flat and unmotivated. Definitely not interested in sex. Suspect some is due to Covid in addition to menopause - I am 51 and no period for nearly 2 years.
Definitely not living my best life.

I'm only 39 so feel like a fraud being here but the last 9/10 months have been markedly different for me - impatient and angry all the time, not got time for anyone's crap anymore, totally lost all libido, feel smooth underneath like an action man. Also random hot flushes, memory like a sieve and anxiety so, so much worse.

Got phone consult with gp next week but suspect they'll see my age and dismiss me. My periods started when I was 9 but don't think this means perimenopause starts any earlier technically.

Also feel like I've become weirdly invisible in society. Odd.

The thing I miss most is my libido, feel like I've totally lost who I am and find myself crying about it regularly. Very sad.

Peri here (at 52 - periods still regular as clockwork ). So many changes -

• Insomnia - although I seem to need far less sleep overall
• Anxiety at ridiculously high levels
• A disinterest in lots of things and a very low tolerance
• My desire to nurture and care for my kids (who are adults and teens) wanes by the day
• A sort of detachment from life - in addition to the anxiety I feel I just don't give a fuck. Very weird.
• No libido whatsoever
• Becoming very cautious and over think things - so what used to be a simple 'let's go and do X' seems to become a big event

I can't take HRT and feel like I'm slowly going mad.

@DangerMouse0

I'm only 39 so feel like a fraud being here but the last 9/10 months have been markedly different for me - impatient and angry all the time, not got time for anyone's crap anymore, totally lost all libido, feel smooth underneath like an action man. Also random hot flushes, memory like a sieve and anxiety so, so much worse.

Got phone consult with gp next week but suspect they'll see my age and dismiss me. My periods started when I was 9 but don't think this means perimenopause starts any earlier technically.

Also feel like I've become weirdly invisible in society. Odd.

The thing I miss most is my libido, feel like I've totally lost who I am and find myself crying about it regularly. Very sad.

Welcome ! You definitely sound peri, and it’s good to educate yourself on what you can expect.

Nothing to see here, so far

Am 50 and am feeling strong and confident and sexy (sometimes ), I even feel like I am in my prime

Maybe I have some delusions 😁😂

DH is having a tough time and is wanting a career change, unhappy about his body (aches and pains) bad sleep and stress and anxiety

So maybe a lot of this stuff is a midlife thing, affecting men too?

Still slightly scared about changes ahead for myself

Thank you to everyone that has contributed, it’s made me feel slightly less mad.
We could do with a menopause club, like the WI, where we can all cry, rage, drink wine/tea , eat chocolate and swap experiences. I’d be up for it.