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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to not want to have sex if I've not just showered

175 replies

MrsTweedy21 · 30/10/2021 23:24

Dh has just said he wouldnt be bothered if we didn't shower before sex. I wouldn't be comfortable being intimate if I hadn't. AIBU or is he?

OP posts:
MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 30/10/2021 23:26

Omg there are just some things you have to figure out yourself as an adult and this is one of them!

chipstickz · 30/10/2021 23:27

Doesn't bother me. It makes impromptu sex quite difficult surely.

Lucythewonderdog · 30/10/2021 23:27

Oh jeez 😂

Chickychoccyegg · 30/10/2021 23:27

Well I don't shower before sex but it's up to you isn't it
Neither of you are unreasonable

Notimeforaname · 30/10/2021 23:28

How long do you leave it between showers? And how long is too long? So you cant have spontaneous sex then if you haven't just had a shower ??

meltingappointment · 30/10/2021 23:28

Do you have appointment sex all the time?

TheBlackHeart · 30/10/2021 23:28

If I'd already showered that day then I wouldn't care.

dementedpixie · 30/10/2021 23:28

We tend to have morning sex and shower afterwards.

Aquamarine1029 · 30/10/2021 23:31
Confused
Sparklespangle · 30/10/2021 23:33

How rank are you that you have to shower before sex? Just shower after like a normal person.

Maskless · 30/10/2021 23:34

I'm with you, OP. When I was having sex, I could not bear to have sex unless we were BOTH fresh out of the shower.

I realised it was a bit of an obsession, but I could not help it.

Original poster
MrsTweedy21 · 30/10/2021 23:36

Even if I'd showered that morning I wouldn't be happy if I couldn't just jump in the shower beforehand. It is me, isn't it - maybe he does feel it's sex by appointment only and that's why he mentioned it Blush

OP posts:
tiredanddangerous · 30/10/2021 23:37

You are being unreasonable. There's nothing sexy about sex by appointment.

TotallySuper · 30/10/2021 23:38

YABU and odd

Aquamarine1029 · 30/10/2021 23:39

I feel sorry for your husband. No spontaneity makes it a drudgery.

Aria2015 · 30/10/2021 23:40

We generally shower before sex. I think we both just feel more relaxed when we feel 'fresh'. It's just a preference. We still have impromptu sex where we haven't showered if the mood takes us but most of the time we shower beforehand.

Offmyfence · 30/10/2021 23:40

Nah, I'm always "clean" maybe not freshly showered (as I'm 5 mins ago) but clean enough for sex.

Offmyfence · 30/10/2021 23:40

*in not I'm 🙄

MoirasWigStand · 30/10/2021 23:40

What about when you were first together? Are you always showered first, even at the beginning?

RacketeerRalph · 30/10/2021 23:42

@MrsTweedy21

Even if I'd showered that morning I wouldn't be happy if I couldn't just jump in the shower beforehand. It is me, isn't it - maybe he does feel it's sex by appointment only and that's why he mentioned it Blush
Yes it's you. Do you have other anxieties? Or is it just this?
Jiggyjigsaw · 30/10/2021 23:44

I love a sweaty salty man! 😁 I had a boyfriend some years ago that insisted on showering even though he was always clean and as pp said it ruined the spontaneity and took the fun out of quickies.

Leicat · 30/10/2021 23:45

Do whatever works for you. Personally I like a bit of a sweaty smell, I find it more of a turn on.

Original poster
MrsTweedy21 · 30/10/2021 23:47

@MoirasWigStand

What about when you were first together? Are you always showered first, even at the beginning?
Yep, we've been together since we were teenagers and we're 50 now
OP posts:
mrsevangelina · 30/10/2021 23:48

I'd rather shower afterwards! In fact I would be mildly irritated if sex was initiated just after I'd showered as I'd feel like the shower was a waste Grin

notsohippychick · 30/10/2021 23:49

I find this very odd! Bit clinical and scheduled!