Aibu to not want to have sex if I've not just showered

[MrsTweedy21]

Dh has just said he wouldnt be bothered if we didn't shower before sex. I wouldn't be comfortable being intimate if I hadn't. AIBU or is he?

He might well like your scent versus just smelling your scented bath products.

It depends how long ago I ate onions. Or those little chicken satay sticks.

There's a guy at work whose body must process onions in a really weird way, EVERYONE knows if he's had them for at least a couple of days....they seep out of his pores into about a good 3m radius.
It's made me really quite paranoid about onion sweat.

Just have sex in the shower 🤷‍♀️

@kittenkipping

It would not be okay for me. I rarely get spontaneity now, but early years? Falling through the door after a night out dancing - yes sweaty bars filled with people plus dancing for HOURS- and tearing the clothes from one another? It's heaven. In the kitchen together and kissing before getting carried away and sweeping everything from a table to do it? It's the recipe for the hottest sex. Ive teenagers now and yes live by sex by appointment. It's still very good after years of knowing what we both like, we can have great sex and fast every time. But spontaneous passion sex will ALWAYS be the most memorable and the best and pausing passion to shower? I couldn't settle for it.

All that said. It's not me having the sex. It's you. And your boundaries are acceptable. It's not my place to set yours or shame you for them. Sex is very very personal and more subjective than art. What's good for you and comfortable for you is best for you and don't ever feel pressured to do anything you don't want to

This.

[quote Hopeisallineed]@QOD why would you have toilet remnants on your tongue? 😳[/quote]
Very possible if you need the toilet multiple times every day.

@MrsPelligrinoPetrichor

Omg there are just some things you have to figure out yourself as an adult and this is one of them!

Yup!

It’s personal choice, l prefer to shower before sex but sometimes the opportunity for sex and the opportunity to take a shower do not co-incide.

I’d rather shower afterwards.

[quote Hopeisallineed]@QOD why would you have toilet remnants on your tongue? 😳[/quote]
😂 not MY tongue.

I wouldn't insist on a shower immediately beforehand but when I'm seeing DP I always shower or bath beforehand. I'll also wash the bits just before bed, I think it's much more pleasant when everybody is clean. He also showers (no idea if he washes his bits though I've never asked but it's always nice and clean!!)

Yabvu.

Sex is supposed to be spontaneous not to plan.
21.50 - shower
22.30 - sex

I shower after!

It's me too OP. Think it started when ibs got worse during perimenopause. As clean as I thought was, and body odour changed too, I wanted to make sure I was clean. Reading all these responses though does make me think I should lighten up a bit but 🤷‍♂️

It's fine to want to be clean before sex but if you both shower daily I can't imagine there would be much stink.
I like my partners scent and he likes mine that's half the attraction and spontaneous sex is great .
Chill out a little op.

Personally I find how my DH smells quite a turn on if he is not too clean.

If your partner smells sweaty it is exciting! The smell of sanex shower gel ... isn't.

Obviously I do like good overall hygiene and cleanliness but I'd prefer no shower beforehand.

What do you do if one of you feels frisky in bed and starts ... touching the other ?

My DH always used to want sex if I'd done a bunch of physical work and was hot and sweaty. He said just the smell of me was a total turn on. And being desired that much made me feel like the sexiest woman in the world. I was the same way with him and I knew it was only that day's sweat so it wasn't actual dirt. The smell of him was amazing and gorgeous.

@MrsPelligrinoPetrichor

Omg there are just some things you have to figure out yourself as an adult and this is one of them!

THIS!

[quote Hopeisallineed]@QOD why would you have toilet remnants on your tongue? 😳[/quote]

Presumably she meant her partner might if he performed oral sex on her and she hadn't washed just beforehand.

Would it not make more sense to shower after? Wash off all the sweat and other bodily fluids?

[quote Hopeisallineed]@QOD why would you have toilet remnants on your tongue? 😳[/quote]

She also said toilet roll remnants, not toilet remnants 😂 if that makes a difference 😬

I'm the same OP - I'm fine with PIV if I've showered at some point earlier that day (which is generally the case so that's fine), but I wouldn't be OK with oral sex without a quick wash first. So I like to have a quick rinse anyway just in case there's a possibility of that 😁

@QOD

God I’m with you op. We both shower every morning so no way would I go near a day old Willy My endless wee trips mean I’d definitely want to wash the tuppence Toilet roll remnants on the tongue must be most hideous I get a sweaty under belly and absolutely wouldn’t re wear knickers! No way would I get the kebab out without a bath or shower

I bloody LOVE this!

I was feeling a bit abnormal/weird/boring etc etc but I personally find a clean, fresh dp a big turn on and sweaty, dirty one quite the opposite! He does shower every day but in the evening usually. I just can’t have sex if he isn’t freshly showered. He doesn’t care if I have or not but I shower every morning and am not a particularly smelly person- he says I always smell good 🤷🏻‍♀️

I have to shower, but I get awful water infections, etc. It does take the spontaneity out of things, but it's the way it is I suppose.