Aibu to not want to have sex if I've not just showered

[MrsTweedy21]

Dh has just said he wouldnt be bothered if we didn't shower before sex. I wouldn't be comfortable being intimate if I hadn't. AIBU or is he?

How do you wipe wee all over? One good wipe, front to back, should suffice.

I meant you are wiping it on to your skin. There is little point in pretending that wiping piss with toilet roll removes it from your skin. It doesn't.

I think people leaving ‘toilet paper remnants ’ are wiping too hard! Try using a blot not a wipe! @meltingappointment it’s just a bit of wee! Heavens if you are exchanging bodily fluids, surely wee is the least of your worries?!!! 😂

it’s just a bit of wee! Heavens if you are exchanging bodily fluids, surely wee is the least of your worries?!!! 😂

It may be the least of your worries but it's a genuine concern of mine so please don't laugh. Tasting piss on a vulva is about the most unattractive thing that can happen for me during sex.

I'm like you OP, I don't really like to dtd without showering. Personal preference. He doesn't have to but I like to feel clean.

I’m sorry you have hang ups, I’ve never once ‘tasted wee’ on a vulva or a man’s penis so can’t really understand the problem. I do think spontaneous sex is one of the best things going though…

@Hopeisallineed

I’m sorry you have hang ups, I’ve never once ‘tasted wee’ on a vulva or a man’s penis so can’t really understand the problem. I do think spontaneous sex is one of the best things going though…

I have, and it's grim and also awkward to say "er you smell of wee" Men think they can spend the day shaking the drips off then want oral when they get home... no. Go and wash!

@Hopeisallineed

I’m sorry you have hang ups, I’ve never once ‘tasted wee’ on a vulva or a man’s penis so can’t really understand the problem. I do think spontaneous sex is one of the best things going though…

I don't have 'hang ups' because don't want to lick someone's piss

Oh jeez. Lighten up.

@Hopeisallineed

Oh jeez. Lighten up.

You accused me of having hang ups, now you want me to lighten up?

You do realise that issue there is entirely you?

The wiping wee all over?

How do you wipe wee all over? Mine comes out of the same place, is wiped on that place and done lol
Never tasted or smelt wee on a man or woman, I like to think most people clean up after the loo properly and wash properly that they don’t need to have a full shower before being intimate.

@Clementineapples exactly this. I don’t know what some people on here are doing, but I don’t think most people smear it all over themselves. It’s never been an issue for me.

FGS some people smell of piss when you stick your nose down there - it's a fact . Who cares how frigging clean you are . 😂

when i was having sex i went through phases of suffering from awful UTIs. I found having a shower before and after sex minimised these so often tried to do that (but not always if it was spontanous sex).

I don’t know what some people on here are doing,

It's not me, or anyone else on here doing it. If I, and others, have come across genitals that have a pee smell it is because of the other person, not us!

@DameMaureen

FGS some people smell of piss when you stick your nose down there - it's a fact . Who cares how frigging clean you are . 😂

I definitely care. I don't know why that is strange tbh. I considered it normal not to like the smell of piss.

I never had this as a problem when I was younger. Sex anytime anywhere. Never had a problem. But I didn’t date dirty men. However as I’ve got older and have been on online dating I’ve realised how unhygienic most men are. What’s with the shaking and not using toilet roll? I’ve taught my sons to wipe the wee and not just shake but that’s been possible because they don’t live with their dad.

@DameMaureen

FGS some people smell of piss when you stick your nose down there - it's a fact . Who cares how frigging clean you are . 😂

I've read, some people prefer it, if they are into watersports

@meltingappointment I agree with you . I worded it badly . I meant who gives a shit about how clean @Hopeisallineed is .

and @Clementineapples being so pristine 🙄

No I wouldn’t either OP, if it was just using hands on the front area okay, anything would be a decent strip wash and other hygiene measures at a minimum.

@DameMaureen funnily enough I do. 😂

I think that's weird - you get in the mood and then say hold on I need a shower?

It sounds like you are quite routine bound.

Do you like spontaneity in other areas of life?

YABU, my DH insists on this and as a result gets less sex because it completely kills the mood.

I've never understood front to back. How does that work? Also the sexiest, most exciting thing ever was in my 20's and had a guy I fancied go down on me. I did warn him about the very heavy period I was having and the tampon but he didn't care and carried on anyway. Given that sex drive often increases during your period it made me feel really attractive that it wasn't a barrier for him. Shame I couldn't kiss him afterwards though! He was just a great attentive lover generally that loved to give pleasure. Still miss him some days, decades on.