Birthday cake

[Thundercats77]

Long winded.... Today is my DS 1st birthday. We intend to celebrate this tomorrow with family and friends and have hired a venue and entertainment etc to do so (we couldn't find a venue today).

Today his actual birthday day, we are taking DS out to the circus . The circus is very close to where my parents live so we will be popping in to see them.

I have specifically told my family not to get/make a cake as it won't be fair on DS other set of grandparents, DH side and we will all do one together tomorrow.

My husband and I will cut a cupcake with him today.

DGP asked if they could come round prior to going to the circus to drop off his presents. DH said yes but pressies only and nothing else.

They've come round and MIL has baked a cake with a candle declaring to wake DS up we are going to cut the cake.

I looked at DH who gave a well what can you do look to me and said meakley I said pressies only.

MIL piped up again, we are going to cut the cake. I had to then intercept as I was quite agitated at this point that I had said no cakes etc to my parents etc etc. And now it won't be fair on them so we won't cut the cake.

PIL seemed upset and said OK we will cut the cake tomorrow.

MIL always has a habit of doing what she wants.

AIBU to have said what I did?
If so any suggestions on how to handle this better.

It's put a real dampener on the day.

@Lasair

You made a big deal out of nothing, I would have said nothing about cakes to anyone and If mil did a cake great I would have cut that, if my family did a cake great, I’d cut that too, I’d then do a cake at his party.

Also op what do you mean fair? Would your family really care if they weren’t there when a cake was done? You’re being PFB.

Crikey OP, please tell me that you know you’re being ridiculous

He's 1. You could cut a thousand cakes and take him to a strip club.
HE WILL NOT REMEMBER.

I get that MIL did not follow your wishes but she's going to be in your life for a long time, is this really the hill you want to die on?

YABU it's just one of those things where you have you have to pick your battles.

Annoying they don't listen.

I think it's quite natural to find MiLs extremely irritating and want to push back against them when you have a small child, especially your first. Hopefully things will mellow out over time.

If this is for real then YADBU... jeez how would you cope with real problems?!

It's a cake. Get a grip.

Cake related power moves. Lordie.

Is that when someone hides inside a horse shaped cake in order to infiltrate your home?

You need to get out of this habit of weighing up what is fair to the grandparents. Your DS is his own person, he's not a share toy.

One cake, two cakes, three cakes... A one year old is only going to mash them to bits if they get their hands on them, so what does it matter?

@Hogwarts21 I do see your point in sympathy with Zayn Malik... but he admitted assaulting his MIL ... hardly the moral high ground or relevant here??!!

Mmmmmm... cake.

@JetRocket

YANBU op for no other reason than you explicitly asked a grown adult not to do something and they came to your house and did it anyway.

The circumstances don’t really matter, unless they’re particularly ‘unusual’ which this isn’t. A grown adult should be capable of respecting wishes in someone else’s home.

I agree with this actually, it's not about the cake per se, it's about not respecting op's request

I think they are probably just excited that it is their grandchild's first birthday and wanted to have a role in the day tbh.

@tobedtoMN no he hasn't admitted anything. He's denied it fully.

Malik told TMZ: "I adamantly deny striking Yolanda Hadid and for the sake of my daughter I decline to give any further details and I hope that Yolanda will reconsider her false allegations and move towards healing these family issues in private."

Get a grip, you are being hideously precious.

The more cake the better.

He's fed up with his MIL leaking stuff to the press - again.

She'd do anything to remain relevant.

Why are people talking about Zayn Malik? Did he bring cake too?

Omg the micromanaging of a bloody birthday came!

What about if, say, she (YH) had arrived at the house and found the person in charge of the child incapacitated in some way? Would she then be justified in intervening?

@CallmeHendricks

What about if, say, she (YH) had arrived at the house and found the person in charge of the child incapacitated in some way? Would she then be justified in intervening?

Well, it’s not really relevant to this thread. But I think if that had been the case, she’d have said, she’s not kept other details private.

@Hogwarts21 fair enough I stand corrected.

They presented their grandson with a cake on his 1st birthday?! Lord have mercy

Haha. Sounds implausible, but I have seen it many times now.

You are probably too embarrassed to come back to this thread OP...and rightly so...but I seriously hope that you are reading and learning!

Utterly and completely bonkers!! What a fuss about nothing 😱 I hope you apologise to all concerned!

In our family, this is the child’s first bite of cake or really any kind of real dessert. We don’t do cookies or cakes or anything before that day. It’s a big deal.

We ended up celebrating DD’s first birthday a few weeks early because it was the only way to get both sets of grandparents in the same place at the same time for the all important first cake.

It's a cake. For a 1st birthday. The end.

@DriftingBlue

In our family, this is the child’s first bite of cake or really any kind of real dessert. We don’t do cookies or cakes or anything before that day. It’s a big deal.

We ended up celebrating DD’s first birthday a few weeks early because it was the only way to get both sets of grandparents in the same place at the same time for the all important first cake.

🤣

OP's only mistake here was expecting people to be reasonable about cake. People are not reasonable about cake. People are really really intense about cake. Best idea going forward is to basically leave people to their cake based nonsense.