Just a few points regarding consent.
Enthusiastic consent is incredibly important. No one should be having sex with anyone who doesn't show clear signs of being 'up for it'. If someone is tired and can't be arsed, you shouldn't be pushing for sex. If you've had to guilt trip someone into 'giving in', you shouldn't be having sex with them. If they seem withdrawn/quiet, it's an absolute no go.
Enthusastic sex doesn't mean, for example, a woman who has ran off to change into sexy lingerie and has a bottle of lube in her hand while saying "I want to have sex!" Sometimes I think people get confused and think that enthusiastic consent means something along those lines. It doesn't.
If you've been with your partner x years, you should know all the signs of them being up for it, vs not. So in those circumstances, you probably don't need to have consent spelt out in such an obvious way. That assumption, however, is based on the fact that you aren't an abusive cunt and actually care about your partner, though. If it's a ONS then in my opinion it needs to be discussed much more openly for clarity, as you simply don't know this person.
And obviously, if anyone shows any signs of discomfort, upset, etc- you stop immediately.
Anyway, obviously no one should be coerced into having sex with someone they don't want to. And it's perfectly acceptable to not want to have sex with someone who is trans. I find the latest movement of trans people not telling people they're trans to be quite disgusting and deceitful, to be honest. Eg my sexual preference is a straight male. I do not want to have sex with anyone else who doesn't fit into that category. If you hide it from me, then it is rape, in my opinion, as I never consented to anything else. And in regards to the well argued point of trans people not telling others they're trans as they might be at risk of violence, I'm sorry but I hugely disagree with that point. Your right for 'safety' is no more important than my right to know what I'm consenting to.
I feel like a lot of the trans movements nowadays are based on 'getting one over' on others as opposed to genuine fears of safety, to be honest. Yes, it is shit to be rejected by most people due to the fact you're trans. However, tricking people isn't the way to overcome that.
Consent is incredibly important and has to work across the board for everyone. Consent as an ideal falls apart if certain members of society somehow don't need to worry about it as they are exempt. Eg if a transwoman doesn't need to disclose that they are trans before sexual intercourse, then why would anyone with STIs have to disclose this? They didn't choose to have one, afterall. Similarly, why would men bother being honest about using condoms? You can just lie and trick people to get what you want, and the other person's mental state afterwards clearly doesn't matter.
People need to be honest. If that means you get rejected more often, then so be it.