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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be upset that my mum is buying art off someone like this?

239 replies

ManchesterRain · 29/10/2021 08:50

I am a hobby artist but I do cheap commissions for people too. Basically I enjoy doing it and sometimes make a few quid doing it too. My cousin also dabbles with art but his work is digital, mine is traditional.

Anyway I went to my mums yesterday and she said she had something to show me … she presented a digital portrait of my son which she had paid my cousin to do. I said it was lovely (which it was) but I was secretly a bit hurt that she’s never asked me to create something for her. Anyway she then said “why don’t you ask him to do one for you too??” So I reminded her that I do my own art work 🙄 and her reply is the sting of the tail …

“Yes but you could get a proper one done! They’re only £50 … do you want me to get you one for Christmas?”

I feel really hurt by this! There are people all over Britain with my art in frames on their wall so I know I’m not terrible at what I do!!

AIBU to think she is being really thoughtless?

OP posts:
chaosrabbitland · 29/10/2021 14:50

@WalkingOnTheCracks

i honestly cant see how someone pissing about on a pc making images is proper art , proper art is someone with actual talent painting , but there we go !!

I honestly can't see how someone pissing about on mn criticising something of which they're totally ignorant is proper comment. Proper comment is someone with actual informed views articulating them, but there we go....

yes whatevern anyone can create digital art if they are tec savy the app or whatever it is they use does the work for you , not anyone can pick up a paintbrush and create a fantastic portrait , sorry i didnt write a great big comment articulating my views , i didnt know that people wouldnt know the difference between the two , i do hope you feel less ignorant now iv explained it for you
Oh4Tunas · 29/10/2021 15:20

I'd be terribly hurt. Yes, that's rude! Fair enough if she doesn't share your taste in art, but she should have the tact to at least try to hide it better than that!

I'd be sad that she apparently takes your cousin more seriously than you. If she mentioned it again, I'd probably refuse more bluntly and tell her how I felt. She's not being very sensitive to your feelings, as it is!

MrsLargeEmbodied · 29/10/2021 15:29

would you do a proper likeness in your paintings?
i know you have sold paintings but are they complimentary?

OutwiththeOutCrowd · 29/10/2021 15:30

Not quite the same as the OP's experience, but as someone who loves drawing portraits, I wasn't as grateful as I ought to have been when MIL gave me the drawing of my baby son she had had commissioned as a surprise. I know she meant well but I felt like someone had got to do what I really was hoping to do myself if I ever managed to escape my fog of exhaustion.

I remember having this strong visceral reaction, as if the other artist had stolen his soul!

TeaStory · 29/10/2021 15:42

yes whatevern anyone can create digital art if they are tec savy the app or whatever it is they use does the work for you

Untrue.

Blossomtoes · 29/10/2021 15:46

@TeaStory

yes whatevern anyone can create digital art if they are tec savy the app or whatever it is they use does the work for you

Untrue.

Totally untrue. Try telling David Hockney that and see how far you get!
Ijustknowitstimetogo · 29/10/2021 16:29

Yes it is hurtful.

I would want to know is it that she just genuinely prefers that art and was a bit tactless or does she have a history of putting you down?

AliceWo · 29/10/2021 16:37

There's different grades of skill involved in digital art - some of it very basic, some of it very skilled.

I'm an artist OP (traditional paints), I'd be monumentally pissed off if my DM said what yours did, they have always been very proud of my work. Is your cousin's more 'photo realistic' and that's what she sees as 'proper' art? I'd put it down to her own lack of knowledge about art, not a slight on what you do.

WalkingOnTheCracks · 29/10/2021 17:28

yes whatevern anyone can create digital art if they are tec savy the app or whatever it is they use does the work for you

Ah, okay. Which app would you suggest? I'll give it a go.

I'm delighted to hear that they've invented an app that can imbue absolutely anyone with creative ability, an eye for colour, an understanding of proportion and depth and even the fine motor skills necessary to draw using a light pen.

Can you give me a link? I shall download it immediately.

Magicpaintbrush · 29/10/2021 18:11

yes whatevern anyone can create digital art if they are tec savy the app or whatever it is they use does the work for you , not anyone can pick up a paintbrush and create a fantastic portrait

FFS - No! That's NOT how digital artwork works at all. If you are a professional artist an app does NOT do the work for you Angry . I hand draw all of my illustrations, from scratch, just on a tablet instead of paper - colour every mm of the image myself from scratch. There is no magic button that 'does the work for you'. In fact in some respects digital artwork can be harder to create than doing it traditionally, and I am proficient in both and therefore qualified to say so. If it was as easy as some art app doing the work for you then I wouldn't have spent the first few months of this year working on a book which was so labour intensive I was doing 15 hour days, 7 days a week for three months solid without a single day off. Silly of me, because if only I'd known I could have just got an app to do the work for me!!!

nextdoorslawnmower · 29/10/2021 23:28

I've noticed this with my parents and my husbands as well. My husband has a very senior role and makes good money. But if they have an issue they need sorted that he could deal with they still go to someone else. It's like they can't comprehend their own child could have the skill and knowledge of another grown adult. So weird.

Nomoreusernames1244 · 30/10/2021 15:29

yes whatevern anyone can create digital art if they are tec savy the app or whatever it is they use does the work for you , not anyone can pick up a paintbrush and create a fantastic portrait

I love digital art- but to be fair unless you go looking for it you usually only come across the facebook stuff of people turning your child or pet from a photograph to a “watercolour” or “oil painting”- which really does look like they’ve scanned to photo into an app and pressed convert most of the time.

That is kind of what I think of when someone mentions “digital portrait”.

Diva66 · 30/10/2021 17:47

She’s a Philistine, ignore her.

Ddot · 30/10/2021 17:49

Parents eh.
I just think some parents find it hard to get their heads around talented children. My friend is a domestic appliance engineer but his mum calls out someone to mend her machine 🤣🤣🤣🤣

5thnonblonde · 30/10/2021 18:03

@Diva66 reported for racism

Bertiebiscuit · 30/10/2021 18:06

I'm so sorry your mum was so thoughtless and hurtful I hope that she isn't always as uncaring as this. I might be inclined to tell how how that felt - my mother always thought more of men than women, she would be this way, partly a generational thing I suspect, and partly just not thinking about how this would make you feel 🙄😒😒

Diva66 · 30/10/2021 18:09

[quote 5thnonblonde]@Diva66 reported for racism[/quote]
Is this supposed to be a joke?

Ddot · 30/10/2021 18:36

Philistine racist 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Snog · 30/10/2021 18:45

Your mum's comments are invalidating and therefore not appropriate for a parent. Was she like this with you when you were a child?

Lisa46 · 30/10/2021 18:51

Has she always been so blunt? You seem shocked by it so I am wondering if she is getting on a bit and losing her social skills?
I wouldn't brew to much on it - as you say, plenty of people do like your art so take your confidence from that.

Ddot · 30/10/2021 19:03

OP show us one of your pics please

Fraine · 30/10/2021 19:14

@5thnonblonde

@Diva66 reported for racism

Did you mistake Philadelphian for Philistine? 🤣

Whu020 · 30/10/2021 19:18

Sorry to laugh but that is funny!

Skysblue · 30/10/2021 19:22

Wow. I don’t know your mum but that was a bitchy, bitchy thing to say. Sounds like she’s trying to provoke you to get a reaction.

I’m sorry OP :(

KarmaLife · 30/10/2021 19:27

My mother would say the same on similar circumstances. But I know her parents were very critical of her as child and she was always told that what she did was not good enough and I see her playing that out with me. So although I find her comments tactless at least for me I can understand it in that context.