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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Why are you obese?

182 replies

Beautybunny · 29/10/2021 07:28

I have been following a fab thread regarding others not being obese. Lots of posters that are obese have commented that the strategies other have don't work for them. I have tried many diets, acupuncture, fasting, diet pills etc. In my adult life I have been a size 8 and a size 22. Food and wine are my comfort in unhappy times. I have a nutrition qualification and am a very competent cook. I was also a vegetarian for years. I like my veg. Never had a weight problem until I had my children. Their births were followed by a harrowing law suit and then a bereavement. I have lost weight on and off in the last twenty years but generally I have been fat and getting fatter as I now take steriods for RA. I also have an under active thyroid. I find slimming groups difficult as the logic can be a bit bonkers (mashed banana is a syn etc). I also work away so the personal trainer approach is not convenient. Has anyone used a good therapist /weight loss guru? I know my weight is my amour against attack, it started in my childhood. If I have a shitty employer I put on weight, conversely I had a great one in 2016/17 and lost two stone naturally. I would love any suggestions.

OP posts:

Thornrose · 31/10/2021 09:38

HerRoyalWitchyness thank you, I'll mention this to her. I might write it down and remind her to ask at her next meds review.

Original poster

Beautybunny · 31/10/2021 10:19

Good morning, I am almost there with the Facebook group. Hopefully it will be helpful.
I had an epiphany last night and realised that bullying man= fat to me.
My husband is lovely but because of my seniority in business I usually report to a man. Most of them have been barstards. I am too clever for my own good so they belittle me and try to keep me in my plac, I might take their job!
I have had three lovely lady bosses and each time I have worked for such a person I have lost loads of weight. Conversely with the guys I eat to survive as opposed to saying feck off leave me alone. Enlightening.

OP posts:

AlphabetAerobics · 31/10/2021 10:23

Jeez, I loved Risperidone - felt invincible and happy.

Went to my meds review 6 weeks later and the panel looked on horrified as I rabbited on high as a kite and not caring I’d put on 2 stone in just a few weeks.

They took me off it and I put the gummy bears down…

KatherineofGaunt · 31/10/2021 19:05

The one time I got to my lowest ever adult weight, I was doing WW with a friend and ended up being one of the volunteers helping out every week. The leader then quit and I put everything back on and more.

So I know losing weight with someone really helps, but I don't think doing WW is the answer. I've been so lost ever since then, almost a decade ago.

Fernhilde · 31/10/2021 20:48

Hi I would be interested in joining the fb group if allowed please

frumpety · 01/11/2021 06:39

@KatherineofGaunt

I've started CBT for depression and it's making me realise that by sitting around, I'm depressing myself because things don't get done, or I get stressed because I "haven't had time" to get things done. When I'm actual fact a large part of my day involves sitting and eating.

This is so me ! except the eating bit, I have stopped eating to excess, just need to work on the sitting I don't know about you, but when I was depressed I found it difficult to focus and find a routine, so it felt like I was constantly firefighting, everything last minute or missed, if I missed stuff then I felt guilty, constantly feeling like I was letting everyone down.

Original poster

Beautybunny · 01/11/2021 08:19

Well ladies I have opened the Facebook page. Let me know if you would like to join. It is a private closed group. It is just a chat form so we can support each other. Your comments over the weekend have really helped me. I have 'mindfully' eaten for the last three days and haven't been on the booze either.

OP posts:

HerRoyalWitchyness · 01/11/2021 08:47

I'd like to join the Facebook group please

BabyAlexander · 01/11/2021 10:45

I've sent a request to join the group. I think what I need is some accountability.

Pheasantlysurprised · 01/11/2021 19:45

@Beautybunny

Good morning, I am almost there with the Facebook group. Hopefully it will be helpful. I had an epiphany last night and realised that bullying man= fat to me. My husband is lovely but because of my seniority in business I usually report to a man. Most of them have been barstards. I am too clever for my own good so they belittle me and try to keep me in my plac, I might take their job! I have had three lovely lady bosses and each time I have worked for such a person I have lost loads of weight. Conversely with the guys I eat to survive as opposed to saying feck off leave me alone. Enlightening.

im not a part of the conversation her, but it has been an enlightening read for me. Ive never been overweight but have certainly been baffled by societal attitudes towards it. I wasn't ignorant but thank you to everyone for sharing - an emotional and enlightening read.

But what struck me was these 'bullying men', I really don't like the sound of this and wonder is there no procedure you can take to bring them down a peg? perhaps the shit is too insidious? I can appreciate that one. It does boil my piss though. I think we are all often waaaay to polite, aren't we?

Pheasantlysurprised · 01/11/2021 19:51

and good luck with the FB group!

Houseofvelour · 01/11/2021 19:59

I have always had an unhealthy relationship with food. I was anorexic in my teen years and now I have food addiction. I want more than anything to have a healthy relationship with food and my body.
In the last year I've lost 3 stone and then gained 3.5. I feel and look vile.

Original poster

Beautybunny · 02/11/2021 08:28

@Pheasantlysurprised

Thank you for your support. Defo nasty men for me. Recently had a stalker and it was stopping me sleeping and boy did I eat. Stalker now cautioned and will be charged if he comes anywhere near me or daughter. Facebook group launched and I am on day 5 of 'mindful eating'.

OP posts:

SparklingLime · 02/11/2021 13:54

Very helpful thread, @Beautybunny. Could I have a link to the fb group too, please?

Onlyhuman0103 · 02/11/2021 14:27

Hi, I would be interested in the FB page please. This link has been an interesting read and can relate to a lot of the comments. :)

SparklingLime · 02/11/2021 21:26

Is anyone else having problems finding the FB group?

Onlyhuman0103 · 02/11/2021 21:55

@SparklingLime

Is anyone else having problems finding the FB group?

I was sent an email via NM and found it OK.

Neverthecornflakegirl · 03/11/2021 07:01

I can’t find the group either 🙁 I’ve searched for it by name and bits of name but no joy…..don’t know what I’m doing wrong

allthatglimmers · 03/11/2021 07:07

@Beautybunny

I’d really like to join the Facebook page, how do I find it?

headintheproverbial · 03/11/2021 08:44

OP - I've also been wondering about some sort of coach. Would love to know what you find out!

I previously had some luck with hypnosis / therapy but it hasn't been sustained.

CounsellorTroi · 03/11/2021 08:52

@KatherineofGaunt

So I know losing weight with someone really helps, but I don't think doing WW is the answer. I've been so lost ever since then, almost a decade ago.

Same here. There was a WW lunchtime group at my workplace. Then they stopped it because most people were only going to weigh and not listen to talks or anything. I lost nearly 2st but put it back on again. I daren’t do WW again in case the regain is worse.

knackeredcat · 03/11/2021 09:02

I'm at the point where I'm looking into gut bacteria testing - has anyone tried this? And who is the best? If so, from what I can see some of them offer food/supplement advice based on the composition of your microbiome to balance the gut but the cynic in me feels there may be some hard sell involved of products you could get cheaper in Boots or Holland and Barrett.

Plus there's the awkwardness of having to send a stool sample in the post!

Original poster

Beautybunny · 07/11/2021 10:34

Well good people day 9 of mindful eating. Total unhealthy scoffs this week. 4 mini chedders, I large portion of triffle which I ate after a friend was rude to me. Otherwise the best I have eaten in four years!
How, mindful eating. I session with psychotherapist. Why do you think you overeat? Because I use my 6ft bulk against bullies. Simple really. I am waiting to book in a weekly session whilst I can afford it. I have no one to talk to about this. My mother died years ago and my sister is a bullying cold fish. I don't want to burden my friends. The quack for my ladies, in the words of a certain beauty brand, I'm worth it.

OP posts:

Driposaurus · 07/11/2021 14:07

Well done @Beautybunny for this week’s wins.

Original poster

Beautybunny · 07/11/2021 14:35

@Driposaurus

Thank you. Do not feel like puffy balloon. Still fat but skin is beautiful. Not so much booze or salt.

OP posts:

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