in considering asking my MIL to only come to our wedding reception for an hour or so then take the kids home?

[KittyLetteItSnow]

Shes the only one DS2 will settle with apart from me and even then he will spend the past part of 30 minutes sobbing 'mama'

They are only 18 months and 3 years old and I cannot relax when I cant see them, we had DS2s christening about 3 weeks agao and from the second we arrived at the party hall I wanted to leave, it was crowded and dark with disco lights and i spent the whole night running after them.

I cant do that on my wedding day, especially not in the dress I have,

I know you will say 'can't someone just keep an eye on them at the party for you'

but several people said that at the christening then Id turn round to find them hiding alone near thew toilets - or the person would go to the bar and not be watching them ect.

At theur ages i cant keep them in a buggy all night.

I know its her sons wedding but in all truthfullness shes not taken that much interest and this would be the best and nicest thing she could do for us on the day.

Cant hire a sitter as DS2 is sooo clingy and would just scream for me and DS1 hates unfamiliarity.

Sorry for crap typing have wiggly DS on my knee!

Whilst I think it would be the most practical solution you absolutely cannot ask her. you must wait to see if she suggests it.

YABU

I think your MIL should be able to be at the whole of her son's wedding.

I can see your problem but you can't seriously be suggesting your MIL misses out on her son's wedding celebrations are you?

How long is it to go? I would concentrate on using the time you have in getting your boys to accept having someone else put them to bed. Alternatively, can you book a room at the reception and take half an hour out of the disco yourself/DH to put them down?

hmmm what you mean like hint like crazy at her?

I feel bad cause shes not an old biddy 70 year old nana, shes only 41 and would probably like a drink and a boogie.

I feel so stuck as what to do!

well you can ask

but do not be surprised if she is (justifiably) livid at being asked to miss the party and act as an unpaid babysitter

you sound very protective of your children.

I wuldnt leave them in a hotel room, no way.

And besides its not at a hotel

Shes wasnt even going to come originally because of work.

I am protective, whats wrong with that.

They are only babies, its not like they are 9 & 10.

DS1 just runs off, you cant leave him for a second, he has to be on reins when we go out, he has no sense of danger at all! lol

they are YOUR children

therefore YOUR responsibility

you have an hour on duty, then dh does

repeat till the end of the night

Kitty how long is it 'til you get married? I would say that you should possibly do as Weegle suggests and use the time to train them into going down for someone else.

Alternatively, could you hire a babysitter to look after them at the wedding? Not sure if you can actually do this? So they would be there, but you would know that someone was keeping an eye on them properly, not someone who just wanted to get pissed and kept losing them....

No sorry Kitty it is really not fair, particularly if she is only 4 years older than me! Ask her to help you sort the childcare problem out, she may have some ideas and remember it doesn't matter a jot if they don't get to bed on time. Perhaps it is about time they got used to a sitter( a neighbour?) and perhaps you could ask her that if they do play up for a sitter badly, that she could come home to deal with it. But you just can't ask her to miss out on her sons wedding.

Maybe a babysitter per child?

Tis totally unfair to ask this of your MIL. And I hate MIL's

I wouldve thought that our wedding night would give us an exemption of our duties.

Especially considering we arent even having a honeymoon OR even staying in a hotel on our wedding night.

We will go back home to our bed and co-sleep with bith the boys, pmsl.

So i was hoping for a few hoursof dancing TBH.

We dont go out at all, and noones minded the boys at night for over a year, we just dont do stuff like that.

So I just wanted a night without it

I cant hire a babysitter, i know i sound like a loon but i cant leave them with a stranger.

And everyone will be at the wedding!

Why is your 3 year old sleeping with you? Is he ok?

Well of course you should have a night off but you have to sort it out. Now I know you/they are not used to it but a sitter is the only answer here and you never know they might actually be fine.

Message withdrawn

Yea hes fine

We just co-sleep.

A neighbour wouldn't be a stranger.

I can see your point but it is her son's wedding day I would imagine that she will be a little miffed if she misses the evening reception. Can't she just keep an eye on them along with SIL's etc? Fast forward 25 years and I don't imagine you would want to miss part of your ds's reception.

I dont speak to my neighbours, the old couple next to us dont speak a word of english and the lady on the other saide has, shall we say, a turbulant relationship with her DP and has enough kids of her own.

We say hullo, but thats all.

I think ill have to ask a family member, but i really dont know who.

Not hiring, definatly not.

bite the bullet! Loosen the apron strings a little. Get a babysitter in before hand to get to know them. If you must then bring them home and put them to bed yourself and wait until they are asleep. Make certain they know that the sitter will look after them. They may cry, but they will get over it.

Message withdrawn

You need a young but responsible relative, a 16 yr old girl would be perfect(a quite one who doesn't drink). She can come to the wedding and go home with the children. do you have anyone that fits the bill?