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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Going on holiday abroad with Covid

172 replies

WillyWollyWandy · 28/10/2021 22:34

I’ve name changed as this is outing.
I tested positive for Covid almost 2 weeks ago. I was due to go abroad with the children for half term to see my sister who lives abroad. But well, best laid plans and all that. Instead I isolated at home for 8 days. For the most part, I confined myself to my room so as not to infect my husband and children. My isolation period has just finished and I’ve been out and about for a couple of days now.
My husband has been going to work every day. He did a PCR around the same time as I tested positive and it was negative.

He is due to go abroad on a golfing weekend, leaving tomorrow and he has a bit of a cold. Says everyone in work has it.
I’ve asked him if he is planning on taking a test and he said no, he doesn’t want to know. Asked him if he’d even consider doing an LFT but he said no. I asked him if he found out he had Covid would he still go and he said yes but it won’t happen because he isn’t going to take a test. “And anyway it’s only flu.”

Full disclosure: I’ve been a bit lax during covid, didn’t always follow rules, was never one for disinfecting my groceries and wore a mask as little as I could get away with.

But even I, as soon as I got it, I was fully compliant. I just think my normally considerate husband is being really selfish for not taking a test because he doesn’t want to miss his golf weekend, potentially infecting everyone on the plane/hotel/the restaurants etc. (I didn’t want to miss my holiday either, but shit happens).
AIBU or am I perched on my moral high horse, misdirecting my anger on missing my own holiday at him?

OP posts:
MrsTulipTattsyrup · 28/10/2021 22:38

I’m sorry, but your husband is an arsehole.

costco · 28/10/2021 22:44

I missed three separate planned events, one of which I had been looking forward to since last year, because I self isolated with covid. It’s just not acceptable not to follow the rules in that regard. And I was a lot like you, and still am now that I’m out again, not some crazy party girl but just carried on going about my life, taking trains and seeing friends, and certainly no grocery washing. I would be pretty pissed off in your position. He should just take the test.

LibrariesGiveUsPower45321 · 28/10/2021 22:45

He has a bit of a cold - so he doesn’t have the symptoms of covid. I wouldn’t test in those circumstances either. I might do a lateral flow if I was going to be around anyone vulnerable.

HundredMilesAnHour · 28/10/2021 22:47

@LibrariesGiveUsPower45321

He has a bit of a cold - so he doesn’t have the symptoms of covid. I wouldn’t test in those circumstances either. I might do a lateral flow if I was going to be around anyone vulnerable.
"A bit of a cold" is one of the main symptoms of the delta variant in people who have been vaccinated.
EatYourVegetables · 28/10/2021 22:50

@LibrariesGiveUsPower45321 how would you know, in the circumstances, that you’ll be around someone vulnerable? In a passport queue at the airport, at a gate, packed into the airplane like sardines… Should vulnerable people avoid living from now on so that absolute arses like OP’s husband can have the luxury of not knowing? Your minor cold could be someone’s death warrant.

Strangevipers · 28/10/2021 22:52

And we all wonder why we have only just come out of lockdown..........

If selfish people keep this up we can all be locked away like prisoners for Christmas again

Expected from silly teenagers but adults is just shocking

PlanDeRaccordement · 28/10/2021 22:54

YANBU.
Your husband should take a Covid test, absolutely. If positive, no way he should still go.

MoiraNotRuby · 28/10/2021 22:55

I can understand where both of you are coming from. I actually think to travel we should all have to do free LFTs or something. Its not really fair putting the onus on individuals to be responsible. It just leads to temptation to not test.

friendlycat · 28/10/2021 22:56

I find posts like this so unbelievably selfish. What makes your husband think that he’s so “special” and that basic rules surrounding covid don’t apply to him?

So potentially he knowingly could infect a significant number of people if he has covid. In circumstances like this I hope karma comes to him and his actions. His golfing buddies are certainly not going to be impressed if this all comes out and hopefully will be avoiding your dickhead of a husband.

I know this may sound harsh but I feel sorry for your children being guided in their upbringing by such an irresponsible parent. I hope they grow up with more morals than their irresponsible father.

Let’s hope your husband becomes too ill to travel that may then potentially protect others.

TotallySuper · 28/10/2021 22:57

This!! I've just had covid and so did my husband, it's also going around school and everyone that's tested positive has presented as a cold.

MrsJBaptiste · 28/10/2021 22:57

I wouldn't think to do an LFT if I felt like I was getting a cold as Covid isn't on my mind 24/7.

However having just come back from abroad, if he's flying then they will take his temperature at the airport so might find he has Covid which may be a shock!

TotallySuper · 28/10/2021 22:57

Didn't quote for some reason but you get the jist

TangledUp789 · 28/10/2021 23:00

What are his symptoms exactly? He’s only eligible for a PCR test if he has a temperature, a cough and/or a loss of smell/taste.

MrsTulipTattsyrup · 28/10/2021 23:05

@TangledUp789

What are his symptoms exactly? He’s only eligible for a PCR test if he has a temperature, a cough and/or a loss of smell/taste.
Nope. He’s been in close contact with the OP, who has tested positive. Here’s the gov.uk website.
Going on holiday abroad with Covid
Original poster
WillyWollyWandy · 28/10/2021 23:09

@TangledUp789
His symptoms are that he has a cold, that’s it. Blocked nose, no temp, no loss of taste/smell bit of an occasional cough not a dry continuous cough. It’s just a cold. Well it would be if it was 2019. Given it’s 2021, I mean who knows. I think he should do a test and deal with the consequences in a responsible way.

OP posts:
Lalastepmum · 28/10/2021 23:11

I am currently stuck in a bedroom due to Covid and wouldn’t dream of going away. I feel totally terrible.

I couldn’t bare the thought I could kill or make someone ill by being irresponsible.

Original poster
WillyWollyWandy · 28/10/2021 23:11

@MrsTulipTattsyrup
I booked him in for a 2nd PCR the other day, one of those walk in places but he wouldn’t go as he realised it could affect his trip abroad.
Typing this, I’m starting to feel very annoyed with him.

OP posts:
Lalastepmum · 28/10/2021 23:11

[quote WillyWollyWandy]@TangledUp789
His symptoms are that he has a cold, that’s it. Blocked nose, no temp, no loss of taste/smell bit of an occasional cough not a dry continuous cough. It’s just a cold. Well it would be if it was 2019. Given it’s 2021, I mean who knows. I think he should do a test and deal with the consequences in a responsible way.[/quote]
This is how my Covid started. I can still smell even now.

HouseOfFire · 28/10/2021 23:14

Doesn't he need a negative test to travel?

Briony123 · 28/10/2021 23:15

Don't you have to have a negative PCR to get on the plane to return to the UK? Going out he can get away with (not morally, obviously) but he might be forced to quarantine abroad for 10 days if he tests positive before his flight back. Costly.

Bellyups · 28/10/2021 23:17

What a cunt

SussyBaka · 28/10/2021 23:18

@LibrariesGiveUsPower45321

He has a bit of a cold - so he doesn’t have the symptoms of covid. I wouldn’t test in those circumstances either. I might do a lateral flow if I was going to be around anyone vulnerable.
Same way mine started. I'm currently incredibly poorly.
friendlycat · 28/10/2021 23:19

[quote WillyWollyWandy]@MrsTulipTattsyrup
I booked him in for a 2nd PCR the other day, one of those walk in places but he wouldn’t go as he realised it could affect his trip abroad.
Typing this, I’m starting to feel very annoyed with him.[/quote]
So you’ve even done the leg work for him by booking a test and he refused to go. Literally unbelievable.

His priorities are very skewed indeed.

Sadly it’s people like your husband who just elongate this whole saga. But hey as long as he can play golf abroad having traveled on a plane and lied on the necessary forms he will have filled in etc.

Tailendofsummer · 28/10/2021 23:21

If he did have, as he suggested, "flu" no way would he be going on a golfing holiday!

friendlycat · 28/10/2021 23:21

@Bellyups

What a cunt
I second that.