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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Going on holiday abroad with Covid

172 replies

WillyWollyWandy · 28/10/2021 22:34

I’ve name changed as this is outing.
I tested positive for Covid almost 2 weeks ago. I was due to go abroad with the children for half term to see my sister who lives abroad. But well, best laid plans and all that. Instead I isolated at home for 8 days. For the most part, I confined myself to my room so as not to infect my husband and children. My isolation period has just finished and I’ve been out and about for a couple of days now.
My husband has been going to work every day. He did a PCR around the same time as I tested positive and it was negative.

He is due to go abroad on a golfing weekend, leaving tomorrow and he has a bit of a cold. Says everyone in work has it.
I’ve asked him if he is planning on taking a test and he said no, he doesn’t want to know. Asked him if he’d even consider doing an LFT but he said no. I asked him if he found out he had Covid would he still go and he said yes but it won’t happen because he isn’t going to take a test. “And anyway it’s only flu.”

Full disclosure: I’ve been a bit lax during covid, didn’t always follow rules, was never one for disinfecting my groceries and wore a mask as little as I could get away with.

But even I, as soon as I got it, I was fully compliant. I just think my normally considerate husband is being really selfish for not taking a test because he doesn’t want to miss his golf weekend, potentially infecting everyone on the plane/hotel/the restaurants etc. (I didn’t want to miss my holiday either, but shit happens).
AIBU or am I perched on my moral high horse, misdirecting my anger on missing my own holiday at him?

OP posts:
Dontforgetyourbrolly · 29/10/2021 07:31

Ive never known anyone to play golf with ' only flu" what a twat
He may end up having to have a random test then he'll be stuck in isolation somewhere.

milkysmum · 29/10/2021 07:33

I think people underestimate just how many people are doing exactly the same as OPs husband. I'm a nurse in a care home do take the testing very seriously. However I have many friends / acquaintances who absolutely would not consider disrupting their own plans by taking a test for cold symptoms. I have a colleague who's daughter went to a large musical festival, she told her under no circumstances should she actually do the LFT ( as required) before going, and told her just to register a negative LFT online in case anything came back positive and they lost the money. The entire group ( 20+ all did the same ) not one actually took the test. I imagine it's the same for many events etc

SirensofTitan · 29/10/2021 07:38

@Justheretoaskaquestion91

Just here to say that a lateral flow test won’t show if you already have symptoms; you need a PCR. For some reason this information is not widespread, although it’s pretty critical!
That's not true, it's been explained so many times but the message doesn't seem to getting trhough

If someone told you that they have misunderstood

hanketypankety · 29/10/2021 07:40

@Justheretoaskaquestion91

OP admitted that she was one of those people at the height of COVID, when no one was probably vaccinated, who didn't follow the rules and wore her mask as little as she could get away with hmm

She didn’t say she didn’t follow the rules, she said she wasn’t fanatical. Wearing the mask as little as you had to doesn’t understand any way mean she didn’t follow the rules.

Full disclosure: I’ve been a bit lax during covid, didn’t always follow rules, was never one for disinfecting my groceries and wore a mask as little as I could get away with.

Hmmmm🤦🏽‍♀️

Suzi888 · 29/10/2021 07:43

He should test, but trust me we deal with TTP grants and the majority are not complying. That’s why it’s spreading.

Wasn’t it the whole point of being vaccinated? I’m not condoning it, but I can see why people are fed up.

ItsSnowJokes · 29/10/2021 07:45

Well he's just a selfish cunt isn't he? The fact he could be spreading it around anyone while he is travelling. I'm sure his mates would be glad to come back from their weekend break with covid!

He is obviously not going to change his mind, hopefully he may get pulled for a random covid test at the airport (this happens at some airports) and he finds out either way then.

Dashel · 29/10/2021 07:45

I don’t honestly think I could forgive DH if he was going out with suspected Covid. If he causes someone to die so he can go golfing then that is selfish beyond belief.

DH caught covid months ago and queried whether if he got a false negative test abroad, would he be covered on insurance and the answer was a flat no. Our travel insurance which is pretty comprehensive does not cover positive Covid tests abroad within 90 of getting Covid.

KNain · 29/10/2021 07:45

If it was me I'd be contacting the golf buddies and telling them your husband has been exposed to Covid, is now ill and won't take a test. Just to given them a warning.

I certainly wouldn't want to spending a weekend in close proximity to him without a negative test!

RussianSpy101 · 29/10/2021 07:56

He’s an arsehole and he’s also thick. If he actually had the flu, he wouldn’t be well enough to go away.

Cheerbear23 · 29/10/2021 07:58

Another voice here saying Covid presented as a cold for the first 6 ish days with my DD then the cough started. It’s very possible that he has Covid if you’ve just been recently infected.
He is selfish, and his mates won’t thank him if he turns up sneezing snd coughing all over them too. Can you not push this angle with him?

jennyohh · 29/10/2021 08:00

There are a lot of arseholes out there, also why is it so difficult to wear a mask during a pandemic if you’re not exempt?

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 29/10/2021 08:03

I’ve asked him if he is planning on taking a test and he said no, he doesn’t want to know.

Selfish twat.

Oblomov21 · 29/10/2021 08:07

What a idiot.
What country is he going to? Will he have to take a test before flight, pre return flight, or have a PCR booked for dsy 2 return which he'll have to use code ok his passenger locator form?

If so, he could end up with covid out there and need to isolate for 10 days in a foreign country?

Boatingforthestars · 29/10/2021 08:11

[quote WillyWollyWandy]@TangledUp789
His symptoms are that he has a cold, that’s it. Blocked nose, no temp, no loss of taste/smell bit of an occasional cough not a dry continuous cough. It’s just a cold. Well it would be if it was 2019. Given it’s 2021, I mean who knows. I think he should do a test and deal with the consequences in a responsible way.[/quote]
Those are the exact symptoms I presented with when I tested positive, the NHS advice is outdated with coughs and temps etc.
Delta symptoms for vaccinated people are more like a cold.
Sore throats, blocked stuffy noses, sneezes and a very slight occasional cough.

luckylavender · 29/10/2021 08:14

@Justheretoaskaquestion91 - she didn't say that either. She said she was 'lax'. Honestly I don't know what people don't get yet, it's been long enough and no one wants more lockdowns.

andyoldlabour · 29/10/2021 08:18

OP, your DH is the reason that ,ore than twice as many people have died in eighteen months from Covid in the UK, than all the civilians were killed in the UK in the six years from 1939 to 1945 in WW2.

RudestLittleMadam · 29/10/2021 08:23

Your husband is a selfish arsehole. If he has got covid hopefully it’s really bad and he feels too ill to go on his bloody golf holiday and therefore spares other people from catching it from him.

user9764577436 · 29/10/2021 08:23

Your husband is a dick but you aren’t much better. Selfish pair.

You isolating is the only saving grace of your post. But your attitude towards it has given him the impression that it doesn’t matter. So, yea, you have encourage his attitude.

indecisivewoman81 · 29/10/2021 08:25

How did you get on OP? Did you manage to persuade your husband to at least do a LFT before leaving?

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 29/10/2021 08:25

His symptoms sound same as mine when I had Covid. Runny nose, sore throat, slight cough, no temp, no loss of taste and loss of smell only quite a few days in. He should definitely test.

SapereAude · 29/10/2021 08:26

Wherever he's going it's somewhere with fewer cases than the UK right now.
Which is also why he's a selfish twat.

Seahawk80 · 29/10/2021 08:28

I'm pregnant and in the 3rd trimester. I am vaccinated but still terrified of getting covid now. Because of people like your husband I feel like my son has missed out on doing any activities this half term. I'm not able to WFH and so am spending a fortune on parking and driving to work because people don't wear masks on the tube (where the rule still is that you have to) and I just don't trust people to follow guidelines and isolate. Perhaps you could ask him how he would feel if you were pregnant now and people like him were putting you in danger. I hope that if he does go he gets stranded there 😡.

diddl · 29/10/2021 08:29

Would the airline/hotel he's going to be interested?

RussianSpy101 · 29/10/2021 08:29

@Seahawk80 why and what has your son missed out on?

Jensonfromtheblock · 29/10/2021 08:34

@Justheretoaskaquestion91

Just here to say that a lateral flow test won’t show if you already have symptoms; you need a PCR. For some reason this information is not widespread, although it’s pretty critical!
Both my relatives who have tested positive for covid did so on lateral flow at home when first showing symptoms and then on PCR.
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