To wonder why it takes a GP 7 years to train?

[Swedes2Turnips1]

When all they seem to do is say 'I will write you a letter of referral' or 'You will have to make an appointment with the practice nurse for that'. What do they actually do these days?

Nope your spelling and grammar are too good

Oh I don't know, I notice I invented a new disease called ostgeoarthritis!!

I like the word speculummed. The ultimate threat of violence from a GP.

And surely better to have stuck one finger up three bottoms than three fingers up one bottom?

Oh, and FYI, Tamum since you like it, I also today had to deal with 2 skanky nails, both of which need partial or total removal, ugh ugh ugh ugh. Other than my weird dislike of belly buttons, nothing turns my stomach like removing nails. Had to do it in A&E lots, bleurgh!

PMSLOL slubbers!

for itscoldtoday.

It's "speculated". I know - I'm a medical secreatary. I've spent years correcting doctors' grammatical errors (Actually I don't have a bloody clue).

bloody hell macdoodle , you absolutely should have your feet up, I would pass you a G&T too but you know, DoH guidelines and all..........

What would happen if we all went to our local surgeries/ aed department and asked for any random blood test we fancied - God give me strength!
You need to see your gp so

1. the referral is appropriate and not a complete waste of resources.
2. Your gp can decide if more tests are needed as well.
3. Your results actually go back to someone qualified to treat you, so you do not get lost in the system and miss out on vital information and treatment.
4. Your tests and results are documented in your medical notes for future reference.

There are over 60 million people in this country systems like this have to exist - surely you can comprehend this.

ROFL - I spotted my typo as I pressed post!

Geographical arthritis maybe?Whole swathes of patients in your postcode coming in requiring a rheumatology referral

• did we include medical secretaries in the list of indispensible workers?!! Eek, I think not! Grovels

no you didn't! I wasn't going to mention it.

Macdoodle! Here's hoping for an entirely UN-medicalised next few weeks.
I think in gynaecology we'd probably say 'spec-ed'... but I guess no-one would know what you were talking about. Which, as you said, is kind of the point

ostgeoarthritis, occupational hazard of geologists, probable wear and tear of the CMC joint from chipping away at little bits of rock with a mini hammer.

Ewwww at skanky nails. I am completely unsqueamish about most things except eyes which I find very hard to deal with, dissection-wise.

Right Macdoodle - better let the rest of the NHS take the strain for a bit then. All the best to you and your lovely girls - I have 3

Itscoldtoday - considering your profession - does your dh believe you when you say it's man flu?

And can everyone stop mentioning speculumthingys please - I am due for a smear - and you're all making me feel nervous!

how do people let their nails get so rank, though?

i mean, grossarama!

didn't their mothers teach them the basics of good grooming?!

i already rub oil into the girls' nails every night.

there were so many skanky nails on 'Embarrassing Illnesses' that show should have been marked as an emetic.

of course, the gal who came in complaining of piles and really had anal warts took the biscuit.

oh, yes, people who walk into your office and say, 'I have the flu'.

i always said, 'If you really had the flu you wouldn't be standing up, much less in here.'

[rolls eyes]

Northern - does he arse. And about the smear, don't forget we do it all day. I have looked at many fanjos today, and it really doesn't bother me at all. Skanky nails, different matter altogether.

anal warts - eeeeeek!

Must write to DOH and demand anyone dealing with anal warts is paid extra mega bucks

People are so precious about their fanjos, though, cold.

Like no one's ever seen one like theirs before.

When I told a pal I was seeing a GYN, she said, 'OMG, you're going to a man?!'

I said, 'Why not? God knows I've seen more than my share of c*ck in my time.'

Those warts were nasty, Northern!

OMG, my former boss and I were watching the show and she had to leave the room!

Blimey Its old, you don't half do a lot of flange work!

Rather you than me!

Actually, (almost) the worst thing about smears is if they have smelly feet, since you do get quite close to the feet when doing a smear.

is anyone else reminded of cod's famous Pouch of Douglas thread after reading itscold's last post .

'she had to open a window'.

eewwww.