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AIBU?

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Original poster

Absolutely livid with ML- what would you do ?

394 replies

fussytodd · 28/10/2021 12:32

So I'm staying with in laws for a couple of weeks.

I did some washing and accidentally put a wool jumper in with the general load at 40. It shrunk. I left it on the side in the laundry room to dry and then assess the damage.

Today mother in law comes up to me, holding just the jumper and goes:

' what happened here ?you must have washed this wrong. You need to wash it on a wool setting '

I reply :

' I know. I just didn't see it and put it in with other stuff at 30. That's a shame, oh well'

She says again : ' yeah but you can't wash it at 30, you can only wash it on a wool setting '. I again replied that I know that but I didn't see it and oh well.

To which she goes: ' well this is a hundred pound jumper '. It's her sons jumper, not hers...

So I just went, well what do you want me to do ?

Back story is that it has happened to me before that I've accidentally shrunk a jumper and it's come up as a joke in front of her before. Even so, am I right that I don't deserve to be scolded by her over this ? It's my money and my stuff. So what if I occasionally make a mistake.

I'm so angry, I can't look at her.

OP posts:
Toddlerteaplease · 28/10/2021 16:42

I'd be furious if you shrank a £100 jumper, and rushed it off with "oh well"

NewlyGranny · 28/10/2021 16:43

You can easily spend £100 on an Aran knit sweater for a man - or an Icelandic or Norwegian one, or a cashmere one. And it was OP's £100, too!

SockFluffInTheBath · 28/10/2021 16:48

@Shehasadiamondinthesky

I'd only be that angry if someone regularly pissed me off. My mother for example can induce rage from 0-100 in one second. There must be more going on here than this one incident.
Agreed, I have the same with my own mum. Hope you’re feeling better about it OP, it annoys me too when people repeatedly state the bloody obvious.
CheesyWeez · 28/10/2021 16:49

You can unshrink wool as JaneJeffer says... maybe explain painstakingly to MiL how to do it?
And put your feet up OP

HyacynthBucket · 28/10/2021 16:51

I have not read the whole thread, OP, just your posts. One thing is that some people (I an one of them), find things getting damaged really upsetting. Is it possible your MIL is one of these? Your brushing it off as unimportant may have fuelled the fire for her. She is being somewhat U to go on about it, but YAB a bit U to feel so angry about it. Hope you are feeling pregnancy better soon.

RubyKitty · 28/10/2021 16:52

Tell her she’s a rubbish MIL. If she was a good one she would have whipped it away, soaked it in fabric conditioner and stretched it back to its original size! Then she could be smug 😆

SockFluffInTheBath · 28/10/2021 16:52

@hotmeatymilk

Can we have some info about the jumper? WTF? £100? What sort of jumper was this? £100 isn’t a gold Rolls-Royce price for a jumper, you can get ones in M&S for that. Yes, it’s a lot of money to some – to me, actually – but let’s not go pretending OP shat in a Chanel handbag.
PMSL Grin
hotmeatymilk · 28/10/2021 16:57

I'd be furious if you shrank a £100 jumper, and rushed it off with "oh well"
Even if it wasn’t your jumper?

Honestly OP, I’d get MNHQ in here editing your title with a capitalised foghorn NOT MIL’S FUCKING JUMPER, YOU LAUNDRY FASCISTS

Sapphire387 · 28/10/2021 17:01

YANBU OP- your MIL shouldn't be telling you off like you're a kid.

Cranncat · 28/10/2021 17:04

I now have a vision of the jumper as an Iconic Crime Jumper, like Sarah Lund's in The Killing, or Jimmy Perez's trusty navy ganseys from Shetland.

Or maybe Mark Darcy's reindeer jumper from Bridget Jones...

WiddlinDiddlin · 28/10/2021 17:04

Being berated for something that was an accident.. not once but TWICE, after having explained it was an ACCIDENT...

That is irritating.

Being berated for ruining something that YOU paid for, by someone for whom it is none of their business... even worse.

Derbee · 28/10/2021 17:08

@Toddlerteaplease

I'd be furious if you shrank a £100 jumper, and rushed it off with "oh well"
Even if it wasn’t your jumper, wasn’t your money, and therefore wasn’t any of your business whatsoever? Confused You’d be furious? How odd
isadoradancing123 · 28/10/2021 17:14

Maybe she is not in a position to go throwng £100 down the drain and therefore is a bit upset.

vajingleberry · 28/10/2021 17:14

@Toddlerteaplease

I'd be furious if you shrank a £100 jumper, and rushed it off with "oh well"
@Toddlerteaplease Why? Why would you be furious?

If it was your jumper then maybe, but if it belonged to someone else (and you hadn't actually paid for it), why on earth would you be furious?

ChargingBuck · 28/10/2021 17:16

@hotmeatymilk

Can we have some info about the jumper? WTF? £100? What sort of jumper was this? £100 isn’t a gold Rolls-Royce price for a jumper, you can get ones in M&S for that. Yes, it’s a lot of money to some – to me, actually – but let’s not go pretending OP shat in a Chanel handbag.
I can't wait for this thread.

OP: "I shat in my own Chanel handbag. Admittedly, it was while furtively squatting in MiL's utility room, but she's given me such a spanking!
AIBU to tell her to eff off, 'cos My bag, My Poo, My Choice?"

mountbattenbergcake · 28/10/2021 17:16

@vajingleberry

Not rocket science to work out that MILs son is also the OPs DH.

Except OP is in MIL’s house so it could have been BIL or FIL’s jumper.

Thataintright · 28/10/2021 17:17

I don't think you're overreacting. You're a grown adult, who made a mistake. She spoke to you like you were a child.

Very patronising.

ChargingBuck · 28/10/2021 17:20

@Toddlerteaplease

I'd be furious if you shrank a £100 jumper, and rushed it off with "oh well"
Then you must be furious indeed @Toddlerteaplease, because that's exactly what OP did, the laundry-wrecking hussy!

Except ... it wasn't your jumper, was it?
Or MiL's.

LowlandLucky · 28/10/2021 17:21

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

ChargingBuck · 28/10/2021 17:22

@hotmeatymilk

I'd be furious if you shrank a £100 jumper, and rushed it off with "oh well" Even if it wasn’t your jumper?

Honestly OP, I’d get MNHQ in here editing your title with a capitalised foghorn NOT MIL’S FUCKING JUMPER, YOU LAUNDRY FASCISTS

Grin
Platax · 28/10/2021 17:24

@Toddlerteaplease

I'd be furious if you shrank a £100 jumper, and rushed it off with "oh well"
Why, if it wasn't your jumper?
Platax · 28/10/2021 17:25

@isadoradancing123

Maybe she is not in a position to go throwng £100 down the drain and therefore is a bit upset.
Still doesn't give her a right to bang on and on about it sanctimoniously.
Pythone · 28/10/2021 17:26

@LowlandLucky

OP you sound like a spoiled brat. If i was your MIL i would be asking you to change your god awful attitude or leave.
How is not being that bothered about a jumper she bought, that has nothing to do with the MIL, acting like a spoilt brat? And if any other adult ever told me to "change my attitude" like they were telling off a child, it would have a major impact on our relationship.

This thread is like a parallel universe!

Platax · 28/10/2021 17:27

[quote mountbattenbergcake]@vajingleberry

Not rocket science to work out that MILs son is also the OPs DH.

Except OP is in MIL’s house so it could have been BIL or FIL’s jumper.[/quote]
Oh, come off it. How could FIL be MIL's son? Why would OP have accidentally got their stuff muddled up with her own and her husband's washing? And is it really likely that she would have spent £100 on a jumper for them?

vajingleberry · 28/10/2021 17:28

[quote mountbattenbergcake]@vajingleberry

Not rocket science to work out that MILs son is also the OPs DH.

Except OP is in MIL’s house so it could have been BIL or FIL’s jumper.[/quote]
Fair point that it could refer to a different son even though it doesn't

OP actually clarified that it was her DHs jumper less than 15 minutes after her original post.

But how can you get FIL from "it's her son's jumper"

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