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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Where does everyone stand?

432 replies

pumkinbump · 27/10/2021 23:48

Posting here for traffic.

Married 7 years.

1 child age 6yrs.

Her - forever unemployed by choice. Cheated throughout marriage. DNA test needed on baby as didn't know who the father was. Left 8 months ago with be with someone else which was likely going on before the split. On benefits. Child is autistic so gets a mobility car which she has.

Him - full time worker. Paid for deposit on house. Paid every bill and mortgage payment for the duration of the relationship. Has their son 4/5 nights out of 7 as she doesn't want to. Pays her £100 a month despite this, plus extra for shoes, clothes etc.

He is terrified that she's going to claim half of the house in divorce.

Does anyone have any advice where he would stand on this?

Thanks in advance.

OP posts:
Original poster
pumkinbump · 28/10/2021 15:46

Just to be clear in case anyone else reads this. It doesn't matter whether married couples are on the deeds/mortgage or not. What they should definitely do asap is to register their home rights to prevent the ex selling the house. It is likely that the property will form part of the financial settlement and that is especially true if it's the family home.

All you need to do is fill in form HR1 and forward it to the land registry. It's a simple form and takes minutes to do.

@knittingaddict do you mean he should do this or her? Or both?

I don't know how or why it would make sense for a court to force him to sell to then probably end up in rented or council accommodation.

OP posts:
MoveAhoy · 28/10/2021 15:51

Because he has a disabled child who now needs two homes... Hmm

Original poster
pumkinbump · 28/10/2021 15:56

He already has two homes. She has been awarded a flat and will be having a house in due course.

OP posts:
Oftenithinkaboutit · 28/10/2021 16:06

* I've met her numerous times. She was part of our friendship group.*

Who’s friendship group? Who’s “our”

Oftenithinkaboutit · 28/10/2021 16:07

@pumkinbump

He already has two homes. She has been awarded a flat and will be having a house in due course.
Council housing AND she privately owns? I don’t. Think. So.
FatCatThinCat · 28/10/2021 16:10

She's got a council flat already?

Original poster
pumkinbump · 28/10/2021 16:12

Yes, she does have a council flat already, she is now waiting for a house.

OP posts:
Oftenithinkaboutit · 28/10/2021 16:12

@pumkinbump

Yes, she does have a council flat already, she is now waiting for a house.
Ok

In that case he is categorically lying

You can not get council housing if you privately own

Fact

Original poster
pumkinbump · 28/10/2021 16:13

@Oftenithinkaboutit

* I've met her numerous times. She was part of our friendship group.*

Who’s friendship group? Who’s “our”

My friendship group, there are a few of us who are all friends.
OP posts:
Original poster
pumkinbump · 28/10/2021 16:14

I do know for a fact that she has definitely got a council flat already. So how would this have come about?

OP posts:
MoveAhoy · 28/10/2021 16:16

Having had to assist someone in becoming homeless so that he could get on the list for the council, I smell a rat.

Oftenithinkaboutit · 28/10/2021 16:17

Op

There’s absolutely no grey area

You will NOT get a council house if you privately own.

Fact fact fact.

I worked for my local council for 4 years in housing.

Fact.

And there’s no wriggle room. No possibility of fraud. If she’s down on land registry as owning. Then she will NOT get a council house

He. Is. Lying to you

Original poster
pumkinbump · 28/10/2021 16:17

@MoveAhoy

Having had to assist someone in becoming homeless so that he could get on the list for the council, I smell a rat.
I don't know what you mean?
OP posts:
Oftenithinkaboutit · 28/10/2021 16:18

@MoveAhoy

Having had to assist someone in becoming homeless so that he could get on the list for the council, I smell a rat.
There is no grey area

He has lied to the op

Either this woman does not have a council house

OR she does not own the property and has put a case forward that is sufficient for the council that she is essentially homeless or in inadequate rented property

Oftenithinkaboutit · 28/10/2021 16:19

Op

I promise you

This woman will not own the house AND have a council property

Original poster
pumkinbump · 28/10/2021 16:21

@Oftenithinkaboutit

Op

There’s absolutely no grey area

You will NOT get a council house if you privately own.

Fact fact fact.

I worked for my local council for 4 years in housing.

Fact.

And there’s no wriggle room. No possibility of fraud. If she’s down on land registry as owning. Then she will NOT get a council house

He. Is. Lying to you

He isn't. She is living in a council flat in the same city.
OP posts:
Oftenithinkaboutit · 28/10/2021 16:22

Right
So she’s in council housing

So why say she has two homes. Who is living in the private property?

Getyourarseofffthequattro · 28/10/2021 16:26

I have 0 idea about council housing but can you get emergency council housing if you own? Just thinking if you were financially abused etc...?

Other than that I wouldn't think you'd get a long term flat or house....

Oftenithinkaboutit · 28/10/2021 16:28

@Getyourarseofffthequattro

I have 0 idea about council housing but can you get emergency council housing if you own? Just thinking if you were financially abused etc...?

Other than that I wouldn't think you'd get a long term flat or house....

Yes

If she owns and got council housing it was because she was so desperate for some reason and had evidence that the council placed her in council housing

Oftenithinkaboutit · 28/10/2021 16:30

So it’s either

She is in a council flat because

  1. She owns a private property but this man lives in it and so she is effectively homeless

OR

  1. The council have given her an emergency accommodation because she is fearful about returning to the family home.
FatCatThinCat · 28/10/2021 16:37

Ok

In that case he is categorically lying

You can not get council housing if you privately own

Fact

Unless she can show them that she is fleeing domestic abuse.

FatCatThinCat · 28/10/2021 16:40

Wouldn't she also have had to prove that she was the primary carer and her son lived with her the majority of the time?

Oftenithinkaboutit · 28/10/2021 16:41

So op what is it? You have gone quiet on the council house issue

Getyourarseofffthequattro · 28/10/2021 16:41

@FatCatThinCat

Wouldn't she also have had to prove that she was the primary carer and her son lived with her the majority of the time?
Presumably but if you receive the CB, DLA etc that's v easy to do.
Oftenithinkaboutit · 28/10/2021 16:42

@FatCatThinCat

Wouldn't she also have had to prove that she was the primary carer and her son lived with her the majority of the time?
Yes

Council housing is incredibly short supply

For someone to supposedly own a property AND get council housing

Her case must have been very very compelling and likely involved serious abuse and safety concerns