Being drove insane on the postnatal ward

[TrappedWindArse]

I gave birth yesterday via section, had a nasty hemmorage and am now stuck on the postnatal ward with a very lethargic and jaundice DS. I haven't slept properly in days. 20 mins here and there. I'm fucked.

There's a seemingly pleasant couple in the bay opposite me with their own newborn who is quite difficult to settle, so they do have my sympathy.

The problem is the dad has adopted a method of trying to sooth the baby by making that noise you make when you're trying to beckon a cat "click click pspspsps click click pspspsps"

Obviously it doesn't work, but that doesn't deter him.

Now imagine that on loop constantly, alongside not instead of, the poor grizzly newborn. All night long. Into the morning, then afternoon.

"Click click pspspspspspsps"

Another lady on the ward kindly introduced the mum to white noise on YouTube. It helps the baby a little, hurrah, mum is very thankful, but the dad is still doing that bloody cat noise.

WIBU to strangle him and cite temporary insanity due to hormones and extreme provocation? or at the very least ask him to bloody stop it

Do they have any side rooms? Ask for one. Cry a bit. Might work. Also tell them about the cat noise, that will elicit some sympathy.

Tell him not to!

And congratulations to you!

Don't they send dad's home at some point? I wouldn't want to be on a postnatal ward with other people's husband's around all day.

Postnatal is the seventh circle of hell.

YANBU. Postnatal wards are hard enough without something like that going on. Hopefully they'll get discharged soon (and you will too!). I was in for a few days with DD due to jaundice and other people are, without a doubt, the worst.

Postnatal wards are he'll. There was a baby on one of mine who sounded like a cat when they cried!

I have to say, one positive of giving birth during lockdown was the absence of annoying visitors. It was peaceful! You realise it isn't the babies creating chaos, it's fucking annoying family members.

Tell the staff that you are about to harm him.

The Dad opposite me when I had dc2 was either dealing drugs, trying to get a blow job from his postnatal 17yo gf or leering at breastfeeding mothers. Security removed him in the end but if he'd been pssp pssping, I'd have killed him myself.

Thankfully, our local hospital allows only 2hrs in the morning and 2hrs in the afternoon and then kick the Dads out.

Best of luck for the recovery. I've had a couple of emcs and a nasty haemorrhage after my first. The hotter than hell postnatal ward felt like a punishment.

Get your OH to engage him in conversation then tell him to STFU.

You have my sympathies. I was so glad when I was chucked out of the postnatal ward.

The couples with the really ill babies or where the mother had extensive surgery then was told by the health care professionals she had to walk, were all really quiet in comparison.

The couple next to us were a nightmare.

The mother refused to allow the father to pick their baby when she cried. She would then start having a go at him for random things like trying to think of other ways to stop their baby crying e.g. touching the baby's hand. These conversations were conducted in loud whispers. Eventually after about 8 hours a health care worker came in and told them both off for not picking up their baby and comforting her. (I suspect the couple on the other side who were discharged complained about this.)

The father snored and grunted very loudly in his sleep. My partner was so scared of snoring he wouldn't sleep so he disappeared for a few hours home to get some sleep.

No side rooms available unfortunately

Dad's/husbands are permitted to stay for the duration of the mum/babies stay which is great in theory, not so much in practice (for the other patients!)

To top it off I've got a terrible snorer in the cubicle next door.

I have endless patience for the babies, just not the irritating dad's and snorers

This has brought back memories. I was in a ward at 3 in the morning, with a newborn crying and crying. I felt so sorry for the poor Mum, until she said “ I’m not picking you up, I’m not going to spoil you”

I said “Pick that fucking child up now!”
.. silence!

I often wonder what became of that poor child?

I think my OP title was supposed to say 'driven' wasn't it? I'm not completely with it today thanks morphine

The pspspspsps has started again. Please send help, wine or contact numbers for shit hot lawyers

When I was there for 3 days the husband of the women opposite kindly brought all her older children in every day, all day for her to look after while he sat and looked at his phone. The kids who were clearly bored ran around noisily and not a single midwife said a thing. Being British I tried to tut a few times but it went un-heeded. I’m pregnant again now and already dreading it.

Congratulations by the way you’ll be home soon

What kept me alive was DH coming in and watching DD for 3 hours while I put in ear plugs and noise-cancelling headphones with white noise on and slept. Never has three hours of sleep been so amazing.

You have my sympathy OP
It is truly hellish

Hope you are able to both make your way out soon xxxxx

I feel your pain. I had someone opposite shouting on FaceTime well into the night with no headphones. I always say if I have another I'll asking if I can have a private room even if I have to pay! No rest at all it's hell!

Oh god, it’s been 20 years since my first. I was dumped in ward at midnight trying to feed her - latch fine but she was very frustrated as my milk hadn’t come in - I was admittedly up most of the night trying this and that to get her to settle for a bit when another mum shouted ‘will you get that fecking baby to stop crying’
So that was nice! Thanks for the solidarity lady.

Just snap at him then blame the hormones and cry

Ah god they’re horrible.

And there’s always one that doesn’t pick up their baby. The midwife yelled ‘YOUR BABY IS CRYING YOU NEED TO PICK HER UP’ at 5am to one mum and she said;

‘I shan’t, she has to learn’

Cue six other sleep deprived and furious mums shouting out ‘LEARN WHAT?!!!’ in unison from behind various curtains.

The baby was hours old. You’d have more success teaching something to a Maris Piper.

Some of the worst 3 days of my life.

I really feel for you. I gave birth a month ago, I only had to stay one night but it was truly horrible, honestly the most traumatic part of my birth experience. The couple next to me were video calling people round the clock, even at 2 am. Their baby was loud (none of that newborn whimper) but babies cry, that's what they do. Except both of them would get annoyed with it, the dad would repeat "ok! Ok!" in an agitated voice and the mum sounded like she was mocking the baby. Truly bizarre. Midwives tried to speak to them but nothing helped. The woman opposite to me was unhinged as well, she was so irritated by the obnoxious couple that she would shout at them to shut the fuck up, which they ignored. She was also constantly on the phone crying and complaining how much she hated everyone there.

@RobinPenguins

Postnatal is the seventh circle of hell.

This.

When I was there with DC2 (on my own) there were two very loud and excitable FTMs with their very loud and excitable other halves talking to each other all fucking day and night about all the random shit they had bought for their respective PFBs, how they were going to do this and try that, how amazing it was going to be. I wanted to KILL THEM ALL.

I was stuck there for 11 days and it gave me postnatal depression without a doubt. 35 weeks with number 2 and absolutely dreading the hell hole again!