Being drove insane on the postnatal ward

[TrappedWindArse]

I gave birth yesterday via section, had a nasty hemmorage and am now stuck on the postnatal ward with a very lethargic and jaundice DS. I haven't slept properly in days. 20 mins here and there. I'm fucked.

There's a seemingly pleasant couple in the bay opposite me with their own newborn who is quite difficult to settle, so they do have my sympathy.

The problem is the dad has adopted a method of trying to sooth the baby by making that noise you make when you're trying to beckon a cat "click click pspspsps click click pspspsps"

Obviously it doesn't work, but that doesn't deter him.

Now imagine that on loop constantly, alongside not instead of, the poor grizzly newborn. All night long. Into the morning, then afternoon.

"Click click pspspspspspsps"

Another lady on the ward kindly introduced the mum to white noise on YouTube. It helps the baby a little, hurrah, mum is very thankful, but the dad is still doing that bloody cat noise.

WIBU to strangle him and cite temporary insanity due to hormones and extreme provocation? or at the very least ask him to bloody stop it

You have my sympathy! I was stuck in for 7 days after DS was born as he was jaundice & had an infection.
The woman in the bed next to me wailed at all hours then spent hours shouting about going home, the one across the ward had the loudest breast pump I've ever heard...and pumped for what seemed like most of the night. Then there was the woman who ignored her newborn twins, left them alone to go for a smoke & spent hours constantly texting, with the notification at full volume. I don't know how anyone is supposed to recover!!
I was very lucky to get a side room on the 3rd night!

And to think you’re supposed to try and establish breastfeeding during all this (supposing you want to) what a fucking joke.

I begged to be allowed to leave after a night and a c section, I wasn’t really up to it but it was going to make me ill- it was stupidly hot as well and the dad opposite was doing loud showing newborn parenting:

‘who needs a nanny change? Yes? Yes? Daddy will do it for you OH was a smart little boy you are lying there for daddy to change you OH OH look at you opening your eyes are you going to be a clever boy like your daddy? Yes? YES, daddy can tell, daddy can tell, what a smart little boy you are already that’s right daddy has changed your nappy so you are all nice and CLEAN, that was so easy wasn’t it, wasn’t it? What an amazing little boy, daddy knows you’re amazing, yes he does, yes he DOES!’

On and on and on.

@Aderyn21

Don't they send dad's home at some point? I wouldn't want to be on a postnatal ward with other people's husband's around all day.

In my hospital they let dad's stay for C sections. There's just not enough staff to be at the beck and call of every one who has just had their abdomen sliced open so it seems a good trade off.

Massive sympathy OP. With my first I had a massive haemorrhage too and then had high blood pressure. They wouldn’t let me leave until I got my blood pressure down. I was adamant that being stuck in postnatal ward was the reason for it in the first place! Had to self discharge in the end.
When I had my third in the summer they let me go within 12 hours as I was so vocal about the fact that I wasn’t going to hang around.
Good luck. Deep breaths and rant on here if it helps. Here’s hoping you’ll be home with bubs very soon

I wish they'd have bays where partners can stay and bays where it's limited visiting times only.
That way women at least have a bit of choice!

Beg for a side room!! I gave birth 5 weeks ago and had one as I was in for a week, but there were multiple rooms sat empty! Turn on the water works

This is bringing back memories. They are hell.

The couple across from me had Jezza Kyle on so loud the midwife couldn't do DS's hearing test. I discharged myself - I couldn't bear it

Congratulations on the baby though. You'll be home soon x

I’d have paid for a side room! I asked the midwife if it was an option and she said ‘this isn’t the premier inn!’

But on the hospital literature it says you can request and pay!

I went in with reduced moments with DD and some twat in the next cubicle was watching a film so loudly without headphones that my midwife couldn't hear whether my baby's heart was still beating. I'm still absolutely agog at it 2.5 years later. Who does that? In a ward with women awaiting giving birth or being assessed?

@TrappedWindArse

Explain gently thats it's a human baby not a feline.

Along the lines of...

'Look you twat, it's a baby, not a cat. Shut the fuck up !'

I basically discharged myself before I murdered someone!!

My sympathies OP, 12 years ago with my first the woman next to me would make a noise to quieten hers that got progressively louder as she expelled her breath, a "shhhHhhhhhHHHHHHtttT!" finishing on such a hard plosive T sound it sounded like a bomb going off. Every few minutes, day and night, for 5 days. I lost my mind (literally, I still credit it with being one of the factors in my developing PND). Hope you get to go home soon, but if not please get someone to bring you earplugs or noise cancelling headphones!

I'd tell the midwife he's upsetting/disturbing you. Patients are priority and it's better staff speak to him than you quietly go insane.

I changed DDs name because someone on the post natal ward had used it and kept saying it over and over through the night to try to get their baby to sleep, keeping me up all night!
Post natal wards are hell. You have my sympathy. Can you make a barking noise every time he does it?

earplugs or headphones?

It’s horrendous. I hope you get to go home soon.

It’s hell
With my last,there was a dad who just sat there while mum struggled on
The nurses would whip the curtains open if you dared think about closing them-for bloody privacy!
I was tearful,bleeding,sore,tired and just didn’t want to get my tits out while useless dad stared,open mouthed and drooling
The woman in the next bed snored like a steam train but would moan that she hadn’t slept at all
One of the bathrooms was smeared with blood-it looked like someone had committed a murder-the whole time I was there,nobody cleaned it up even tho I reported it twice
I was yelled at by a midwife for making a cup of tea
I ended up telling them I wanted to go home-they refused as baby had been born with the cord round her neck so they wanted me in for 24 hours
I lasted 15 hours before lying through my back teeth about a lack of childcare at home
Going home to 5 other kids,no support and a baby was much better that staying there-it really felt like a torture chamber

Ah when I had ds2 the man opposite decided he was "exhausted" after a day of watching his poor wife deliver his first child (and she had a 3rd degree tear she told me), that he evicted her from her bed at around 10pm and proceeded to snore louder than I've ever heard anyone snore in my life, until about 3am when a midwife came along and woke him up, telling him to let his partner back in the bed. Sadly, he then managed to drop off around 5am in the chair and snored again until about 9am when he awoke to demand breakfast, which is partner obediently went to find. When she returned he gulped down his coffee desperately, loudly complaining about how exhausted he still was. The rest of us, who'd had not a wink of sleep all night, glared at him although sadly no one said anything. Luckily they went home shortly after that. I do wonder if that poor woman ever realised what a total shit he is for treating her like that after having a baby!

@WheelieBinPrincess this made me laugh so hard.
Solidarity @TrappedWindArse hope you get home soon. Postnatal ward is the worst.

Reading these posts I am so grateful that when I had my dcs over 30 years ago fathers were not allowed to stay on the ward.

I was in hospital for a week with both my dcs but visiting was restricted to 3.30-5pm for any visitors and 7-8 pm fathers only. Other than those times mums were left in peace!

God, when I had DS1 I was stuck in the corner of the ward. The woman in the next bed shouted all day and snored all night. Then she had a billion visitors who shoved their chairs into my curtain. I couldn't get out of bed easily anyway - c-section- and so on one side I had her and on the other side my way out was blocked by the sodding door. DH came in, spent ten minutes talking to me and then went straight to enquire about a side room. They didn't have one but they did move me to a quieter ward!

I was in a room of 2 with my second as post natal was full. HH was very chilled baby and conked out after birth as middle of the night. I thought happy days, only each time I dozed off the couple next curtain decided to have a full on bloody chat (my dh had gone home) them when they stopped talking he started snoring like a train rather than going home. Midwife came in and took one look at tearful me as this was going on 3 hours and moved me to an empty delivery room. I cried with happiness and was left blissfully alone for 2 days - luckily dh brought food as they seemed to forget I was there but it was so peaceful

That's absolutely awful OP.

We are lucky because our hospital post natal ward is almost entirely private rooms. There is a bay with 4 beds but it's only for short-term stays.

This time round I was actually covid positive when I gave birth and had a beautiful private room in the consultant ward for the whole time. DH, baby and I were in there in total peace for 24 hours and hardly saw anyone except for regular deliveries of tea and toast and the occasional set of obs.

I had someone opposite shouting on FaceTime well into the night with no headphones.
This is where you really need an old-school matron to come and tell them off!

My hospital was a breast-feeding friendly hospital except it wasn't at all. I kept on getting told to express as my baby was in NICU but it is really hard to express milk when your room mates have all their relatives coming in and staring at you! I asked to go home early just to get out of there.

@Yogawankonobi

Tell the staff that you are about to harm him.

This made me chuckle lol

Congratulations op on your baby. Remember -this too shall pass.
In the meantime you could call out “nurse,nurse I seem to be hallucinating, someone has let a cat loose in here and is trying to call it?”
Please tell me they have called the kid Felix.